Does your DH/family try to 'schedule' the birth?

(41 Posts)

I am very fed up. I'm 38+5 today with DC4 and this has been a rubbish pregnancy with hyperemesis until 36 weeks and threatened pre-term labour at 27 weeks followed by weeks of 'irritable uterus'. I would really like to have given birth at 37 weeks but baby clearly wasn't ready. I'm OK with that. Fed up, but OK.

My family and DH, however, keep telling me what days would be particularly convenient/inconvenient for me to give birth on. They keep watching me like I'm about to produce a baby if they look away. It's starting to stress me out. I would like to retreat into a little safe cocoon for a few days without them! And don't even get me started on the reminders that if I don't give birth soon, my family will have to go home soon without seeing the baby (never mind the clash of ideas about visits in the first 24 hours).

I'm not due for another nine days! Leave me alone!

extracrunchy Tue 02-Jul-13 08:39:14

Ugh last thing you need! Poor you... Have you told them you're finding the pressure a bit full on, especially as you can't actually do anything about when you start at this stage?

LittleMilla Tue 02-Jul-13 08:44:28

I've got my MIL putting pressure on me to say if we'll make it to Devon early August - edd 22nd July. She needs to know otherwise they'll invite others to the house.

Errrr, can't we just wait and see? In theory a couple of days by the sea will be fab for ds1 and I can hide away. But ffs, I have NO idea when the baby is coming!

I could also have opted for c section but haven't. Family thinks I'm mad for not scheduling it in when I could hmm

SanityClause Tue 02-Jul-13 08:50:08

Bloody annoying, I'm sure - just like most things seem to be in the last few weeks of pregnancy. wink

78bunion Tue 02-Jul-13 08:54:10

Tell them you think it will be born at 42 weeks (which is within the norm anyway) and that way they may head off to their homeland and you will have peace and quiet. No one is allowed to visit you without your permission. Just say no visits until the baby is 2 weeks old if you wish. your choice.

marzipananimal Tue 02-Jul-13 08:55:11

How annoying. I'm 40 weeks and been getting this a bit too so I sympathise. Why can't people just let things happen in their own time without going on about it?

Yes, Extracrunchy I have pointed it out once or twice because I'm now openly grumpy with them. And I'm not impressed with my mum replying that she is finding it hard to sleep now because she is stressed about deciding when to go home. I'd happily trade places.

2beornot Tue 02-Jul-13 08:58:30

Oh yes, I remember this. Dd was born at 39+6 so not even late! I got lots of "poor you, you must be really fed up" to which I always wanted to say "I'm fine actually, you're the one getting fed up". Didn't help that mum kept saying any day now from 37 weeks!!

It doesn't help that DC1 was born at 34+6, DC2 at 39+2 and DC3 at 37+0. But that doesn't mean this baby is coming today. I'm sure it will come when I'm relaxed and allowed to sort my 'nest' out in peace rather than being watched!

HenriettaPye Tue 02-Jul-13 09:01:19

When I was preg with DS, he was due at end of April and my mum kept going on at me that I had better have the baby by 8 May, as that's when my little sisters first holy communion was. Throughout the whole pregnancy that it all I heard, and that I better be out of hospital so I can attend. Turned out I went into hospital on 7th May and DS was born just as the ceremony was starting!

Oh, and I'm so glad that I'm not the only one to suffer this nonsense as if late pregnancy isn't rubbish enough!

Geeklover Tue 02-Jul-13 09:06:35

I did it to myself when I was having ds2 grin
There was a lot going on including a funeral and a family member having major surgery and the other 2 were a couple of weeks early so I kept saying that he couldn't come until Wednesday xx date if he didn't come then be had to stay in another week.
He came 9:30am on Wednesday xx date after a shockingly quick labourgrin

Chesterado Tue 02-Jul-13 10:34:39

Yep. Now 41 plus 1 and dh told me this morning that I "might as well" hang on until I'm induced at the weekend because will make his work and picking up a new car arrangements much more straightforward. He was only half joking.

RuckAndRoll Tue 02-Jul-13 10:42:46

I've got all this to come, currently 34wks, DH starts a new job at 37wks and his new boss has said he really needs baby to be as late as possible, so DH keeps telling me it can't come early. Like you can control these things!

Also been getting loads of comments from my parents and the in-laws about how inconvenient it is trying to schedule a holiday when baby is due in August.

BraveLilBear Tue 02-Jul-13 11:21:19

RoomForALittleOne it drives me mad how everyone else sees your child as theirs, especially when it's usually grandparents piling on the pressure and they should know better!

I'm due same day as LittleMilla and DP was needed at work throughout June so was adamant I couldn't have baby early... this was mainly tongue in cheek, but there was truth there!

The other issue is my younger sister, whose birthday it is the day after the due date... She says she'll be upset if baby arrives on her birthday as it will no longer be 'her' special day. Thing is, she's not really kidding!

You definitely have it worse though. FX it comes soon so they can just leave you to it...

BraveLilBear Tue 02-Jul-13 11:24:04

Oh and Ruck one of the lowest moments of my pregnancy thus far came after my mum and sisters affectively bullied me into having a baby shower. I eventually agreed, so long as it wouldn't be grabby and would be on my terms... and said what dates I could do. They then came back and said 'well can't you do x date as we're away/on holiday/at festivals/at weddings' and I pointed out that that was the date of the wedding I had already told them about it.

My mum then huffily replied with 'oh well, that's what you get for having a summer baby' hmm

ShadowStorm Tue 02-Jul-13 11:29:37

That sounds really annoying. And pointless, as it's not like you can control when you're going to go into labour.

Surely they know that you can't just say "Oh, alright then, I'll just start having contractions now so that the baby can be born in the next day or so"?

Viviennemary Tue 02-Jul-13 11:32:16

I'm usually the get on with it type. But in this case they are being totally ridiculous. Ignore them and say you are not receiving visitors or taking phonecalls. And go and lock yourself in a room.

itried Tue 02-Jul-13 11:33:23

Words fail me. Ignore them.

cbatbh Tue 02-Jul-13 11:41:13

Ignore them

Or tell them baby doesn't have a calendar in there with them so tough titties

Or sarcastically ask them if there is a particular timeslot they would like baby to pop out so they don't miss Corrie e.t.c

isabellamum Wed 03-Jul-13 07:13:00

ruck maybe your in laws should just do what my dad has - he's going to Spain with his new partner, her daughter and granddaughter on the week I'm due.

Mind you, that's cos he's convinced baby will come a week early and on the date that would have been his and my mums 40th anniversary....what a prick angry

OhTiger Wed 03-Jul-13 07:25:48

My dreadful ex had the inspired idea of opening a book for my first.

So I had people with quite serious money on telling me what day I must produce baby.

I totally lost it in the end, and refused to see anyone. You are allowed to do this.

kickassangel Wed 03-Jul-13 07:34:05

Dd was due 2 weeks before my parents 40th wedding anniversary, and they were quite insistent that they wanted me there. Also insisted that everyone had their first child 2 weeks late. I think they hoped I would be the entertainment at their party.

A friend of mine got told she'd totally ruined Christmas when expecting her first. The in laws did manage to forgive her though when their grandchild arrived.

LadyIsabellaWrotham Wed 03-Jul-13 08:01:43

My DB and DSIL were on call to mind DD while DS was born. I told them "some time between w38 and w42". Two days before the due date they got back to me and said that it had gone on for long enough and if it wasn't born in the next three days then they wouldn't be able to take the time off work. Strong implication that I was being deliberately unreasonable.

Babylonmoo Wed 03-Jul-13 11:26:32

I think part of the problem is the fixation on the due date. Only 5% of women give birth on the due date. 95% of women are the described as "early" or " late" which is clearly nonsense. Babies should come between 37 and 42 weeks.we should all think of due window. I am 39 +5. It could be today, it could be in two weeks. Both are on time!

ChunkyPickle Wed 03-Jul-13 11:39:31

I am aghast at people - how do they think this all works? Do they think you're deliberately not having the baby?

Baffling. People are totally baffling.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Wed 03-Jul-13 11:44:33

Chunky Baffling is right... along with utterly fucking barking grin OP - tell them all to fuck off go home and leave you in peace!

Well DD3 was very obliging with schedules and was born in the pool today, all 9lb 13 oz of her (I'm a size 8 and 5ft 4!). DS has been vomiting all day so it's just as well that my mum is still around.

RuckAndRoll Thu 04-Jul-13 08:16:45

Congratulations Room and welcome BabyRoom

ChasedByBees Thu 04-Jul-13 08:21:26

Congratulations! thanks

BraveLilBear Thu 04-Jul-13 09:47:45

Congrats Room! Very impressive effort! grin

Kayls93 Thu 04-Jul-13 23:19:59

My brother in law text me earlier asking if I'd had the baby yet. I replied "yeah but I'm just keeping it a secret for now, have hidden it in a cupboard" he was less than impressed but seriously, I think we would have told him if the baby had arrived. And MIL keeps saying "just cross your legs until i finish work next week" like I can decide when it's coming?! Not that it should matter, unless she's planning on practically moving in?!

MiaowTheCat Fri 05-Jul-13 16:42:04

My mum was the worst. I s on and our with threatened premature labour and she told them to get on with inducing me so she could make her trip to Bulgaria! The look of horror on the midwife's face said it all!

pillowupmyjumper Fri 05-Jul-13 22:17:09

After a failed induction, being in hospital since Tuesday , no sleep and very sore bits my aunty decides to shout ' get on with it' and 'stick a bomb up your backside'

What a twat

kickassangel Sat 06-Jul-13 00:27:01

Actually, dd was 5 mins late. She was IVF so we know to the nearest hour when she was conceived, and she appeared at 8.05 38 weeks later.

My mum was fed up cos first babies are meant to be 2 weeks late, so I proved her wrong.

MiaowTheCat Mon 08-Jul-13 09:02:25

My mum to the midwife when I was in and out threatening slightly pre-term labour...

"Can you not just hurry up and induce her so I can make my business trip to Bulgaria on Tuesday" (she was on standby to babysit DD1 and then had decided without telling us to book this trip anyway)

Midwife's face was a picture.

rachk2702 Mon 08-Jul-13 17:57:48

DPs family kept telling me to "hurry up and have him early so we can have cuddles". I told them that I'm sure they don't wont him to be born too early and end up in NICU!! Some people are so ridiculous!

cookiemonster100 Sat 20-Jul-13 12:26:17

Congrats Room on your new arrival

My in laws are staying at a local hotel when our baby arrives as there is not much room at ours & they are a PITA

Realistically baby could come between 37 & 42 weeks & My FIL keeps ringing to check which dates should he book as there are discounts if you book early. He has come out with such classics of "I am sure if you ask the midwife they could tell if you are going to be early or late...". Mmmm........

Mayanbob Sun 21-Jul-13 23:33:17

Congratulations Room

I had to jump in here, because a relative who lives abroad is visiting DH's parents for the 3 weeks before i'm due, and then they can see the baby and we can all go out together hmm And i've been told that it's going to come a week early- and i'll squeeze it out then because this relative's DP had her first slightly early. Now i'm willing baby to be late, just to prove.... I don't know what. But serve them right for being so irritating.

purplemurple1 Thu 25-Jul-13 09:41:49

Congratualtions room

I'm so glad this nonsense hasn't started for me yet, OH wants the bb to come a week early but seems to get that I can't do any more about that than he can. 33+6 so I guess there time for family etc to start to get annoying, I must prepare some witty comebacks!

Boosiehs Thu 25-Jul-13 09:48:12

My DH wants the baby to be late. smile

I'm 36 weeks today and all I want is for junior to turn up asap as I am TOO HOT AND TIRED.

sigh

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