Can anyone tell me what the pushing stage feels like?

(112 Posts)
OhGood Fri 15-Mar-13 18:57:24

I had an epidural up for this bit with DD and so have no idea what it's like. I would love to hear anyone's experience.

Was there any change in pain levels from dilation to pushing? Was it any less painful, or more painful, or different pain? Did it feel more like pressure? With DD, I could feel pressure and feel her moving down and turning - did you feel that? And crowning?

Feeling very biscuit at the thought of going through this all again...

spanky2 Fri 15-Mar-13 19:02:08

Weird feeling of needing to push , no other way of describing it. Like the urge to sneeze, you just know what your body is telling you. Hurts more but I guess that's cos my bits were being ripped to shreds!

spanky2 Fri 15-Mar-13 19:02:53

Crowning was as the midwife put it the ring of fire!

lljkk Fri 15-Mar-13 19:04:19

Good, actually, all that contraction pain finally does what it's supposed to. Just like a great big spontaneous whoosh of powerful muscle finally let loose. Not truly painful on its own.

Still felt the crowning but it's like a minor stinging annoyance compared to the pain of unproductive contractions.

Sorry I never remember feeling the baby moving during delivery. You'd think I'd notice that big bulk moving, but no.

I wish that I had learnt to stand up for delivery, turned out to be the easiest position (for me).

StellaNova Fri 15-Mar-13 19:06:10

For me it felt like doing a poo that wouldn't come. I didn't know I was pushing, I kept saying "I'll just get this poo out then the baby can come."

I was on pethidine and slightly delirious....

OhGood Fri 15-Mar-13 19:12:28

grin stella

From my careful study of OBEM (makes me feel awful, hate watching people in pain, trying to toughen myself up) crowning always seems to be the bit where people properly scream.

AllBellyandBoobs Fri 15-Mar-13 19:15:26

Blessed relief for me, the pain stopped and my pushing contractions felt like it does when you're about to vomit, except the force was downwards obviously. Crowning hurt like buggery (I imagine smile ) but the rest was fine, just tiring

barefootwalker Fri 15-Mar-13 19:21:55

I agree with Allbelly. The pushing wasn't painful in itself, just like a wretch but downwards instead of up. I was kneeling in the pool and quite comfortable in that position. I imagine it might feel quite different if you we're lying down.

scarlettsmummy2 Fri 15-Mar-13 19:37:24

Like doing a poo when you are really constipated! The crowning bit was very stingy and I screamed a lot, but was all over very quickly and the pain stopped immediately.

Like shitting a watermelon. The biggest watermelon in the world.

Skygirls Fri 15-Mar-13 19:46:10

Totally agree with the ring of fire. That's exactly how it (crowning)feels..
For me, this wasn't the worst pain - those were the contractions being so close together and longer, before the crowning.

My body just pushed of its own accord and I didn't get much direction from the midwives. I can remember pleading with them to take the pain away and DH said I was sweating profusely.

I did ask for an epidural but it was too late. This was DC3 and total labour time for me, from waters to delivery was exactly 80minutes.

Crowning was a different pain (ring of fire) more acute, but this is quick, so you don't have to deal with it for long before you get that sense of relief.

I do remember having to push with DC1 though. The contractions are painful, but you are so focused on pushing when the midwives tell you, that (for me anyway) you don't really think about it. The pushing stage felt like was constipated and needed to get a poo out. (Sorry if too much info).

And in the true miracle of nature, after giving birth, you remember that it was painful but can't recall exactly what it felt like/ how painful it actually was.
DH reminded me that in the labour ward, I swore he was never coming near me again, but when DC1 was 2 weeks old, I said that I could do it all over again.

TheSecondComing Fri 15-Mar-13 19:49:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I was induced though op & had had an epidural which had worn off. I found it difficult because ds got stuck & I couldn't push him out. I found the contractions worse to get through in a way, maybe because they were artificial as I was on a drip. Once the pushing stage came I knew there wasn't long to go.

BeaWheesht Fri 15-Mar-13 19:53:01

With ds (dc1) it was just the most enormous feeling d pressure down there and I just HAD to push.

With dd she was in a bad position and suddenly moved and I literally felt her slide down, one big push and she was out. Prior to that I remember saying to the midwife 'but you don't understand I feel like I have a bowling ball shoved up my bum' smile

ArmchairDetective Fri 15-Mar-13 19:53:38

My pushing stage for DC2 was very quick and I didn't actually have to do anything.

I could cope with contractions, pressure I find pretty unpleasant but crowning, that was by far the worst bit. I can deal with contractions almost silently but it was a sort owwwwwwwwwww sharp pain which you can't help but cry out at. Like when you bang your funny bone really hard.

Didn't help that DC2 got stuck at this point (shoulder dystocia) and seemed to be just hanging there for ages.

But normally I imagine crowning is over quite quickly and you are so close to the end at that point.

BeaWheesht Fri 15-Mar-13 19:54:27

Oh but the pushing stage was by far the beat because you can push right down into your bum you don't have to breath through it or any such crap like when having contractions before that.

Bumply Fri 15-Mar-13 19:55:09

Pushing was like having never ending constipation. Hatd bloody work (they don't call it labour for nothing) but not as painful as some of the first stage, although gas and air was probably helping with that. Crowning hurt like hell, but was thankfully over quickly,and actually the most painful bit was the several attempts they made to put a cannula in my hand as drs were convinced I'd need a c-section - which I didn't.

TheDipDapOfDestiny Fri 15-Mar-13 20:06:06

The pushing for me was completely involuntary, just like the vomiting reflex but t'other way!

The worst pain for me in all my labours was the crowning. Not a ring of fire, or stinging, but instead the sensation that someone had grabbed my fanny and was trying their hardest to rip it apart. Bloody awful. I did tear each time. But, this is the quickest bit of labour, the really unbearable bit probably only lasted about 15 minutes at most. And once baby is out, what a relief!

I found it less painful than the not pushing contractions, and more purposeful. Except when DS's head kept going back in. That was annoying.
But I did all my screaming before that bit, I was just very determined and very tired when I was pushing.

shushpenfold Fri 15-Mar-13 20:11:18

Hmm....crowning....naffingly awful hideous pain that pretty much makes your body just take over. it was so bad with no2 and no3 that I just could not listen to the midwife saying slowly' or 'just breathe and pant' and I just pushed to get the baby out and stop the pain. For me therefore, it lasted about 10 seconds with no2 and 2 seconds with no3!!!! Needless to say, I tore on those occasions, but at least it was over quickly!

RoseandVioletCreams Fri 15-Mar-13 20:13:46

Yes involunatry here too - I didnt really do anything my body just did it.

The only thing I had to do was hold back

ISpyPlumPie Fri 15-Mar-13 20:41:20

Like the most enormous overwhelming sense of pressure, and just had to push to make it go away. This was with DS2, and it was literally 3 pushes - one for the membranes (waters hadn't gone by second stage), one for his head and one for his body in very rapid succession. Didn't get the same urge with DS1 - the pain just gradually ratcheted up until I felt it was time to push, but it wasn't the same all-encompasing need to push now iyswim. Was a much longer second stage too.

And yes crowning most definitely = ring of fire.

GuffSmuggler Fri 15-Mar-13 20:45:32

Like your bumhole is going to turn inside out with the pressure.

Princesspond Fri 15-Mar-13 20:55:38

I too had epidural with first child, two hours of pushing but felt not a thing. Dc2 my god, I understood completely why they call it the urge to push, it was overwhelming. The midwife could tell I'd felt it as well, the contractions just changed. Every contraction I had to push, it pushed the pain away, 10 mins tops and DS was out. Just remember tell yourself to listen to the midwife and stop pushing and pant when told to.

wild Fri 15-Mar-13 20:58:20

it feels like dry heaving before vomiting a cannonball

intheshed Fri 15-Mar-13 21:03:41

I think the comparison to the vomiting sensation is quite good- not that you feel sick but it's an uncontrollable thing, your body takes over and you have to go with it.

Not as bad as the transition/baby moving down stage. The urge to push was stronger than the pain, iyswim.

deleted203 Fri 15-Mar-13 21:05:34

Like vomiting! You know when your body takes over and heaves and you could not possibly stop yourself from throwing up? Well, it's like that in reverse!

Jojay Fri 15-Mar-13 21:05:39

Agree with it feeling like the huge urge to poo.

The pushing stage was much better than contractions imo - you feel like you can do something about the pain rather than feeling helpless.

The ring of fire did sting a bit, and I did tear, but I remember feeling quite detatched from the proceedings by that stage. Knowing that the end is in sight is a great motivator!

Good luck with everything. I too had an epidural with my first, but a quick, straight forward birth with dc2 - hope you do too!

AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday Fri 15-Mar-13 21:34:01

Just felt I needed to add a nice positive one!

Epidural and forceps for DD1. For DD2, waterbirth and no pain relief at all.

Contractions were agony. Felt like being kicked in the spine by a large horse and then pulled apart from the inside.

Pushing did not hurt. Literally did not hurt at all. I went all quiet, the pain stopped, I thought labour had stalled (bad experience first time in that vein). Then my body started to push and within a few minutes out she came.

Pushing was bloody amazing!

OhGood Fri 15-Mar-13 21:40:03

focusing intently on amandapayneneedsaholiday

All a bit humbling tbh - but superemotional pregnancy hormones.

AmandaPayneNeedsaHoliday Fri 15-Mar-13 21:47:10

Ha ha, yes, I do good stories on pushing!

Second labour was bloody amazing. Just don't get me going on the first....

TheSecondComing Fri 15-Mar-13 23:10:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwitchyTail Sat 16-Mar-13 10:46:40

I found transition was the only really painful part of labour. Pushing didn't really hurt. It was just like doing a really, really big poo blush

TwitchyTail Sat 16-Mar-13 10:47:31

A lot of reallys in that post hmm

Taffeta Sat 16-Mar-13 11:10:42

First one I had an epidural which they let wear off when DS was in the birth canal. Went from pain free zen like calm to feeling a giant football in my fanjo. Not cool.

With DD, despite the fact I'd already had a child, and it was my due date, I was convinced I needed a poo. I woke up in the middle of the night with my first contraction and had her just over an hour later. It hurt, but not as much as the first time. Best way to describe DD was pressure.

The crowning and pushing stage was far far easier than the rest of my labour for me - I felt like I had an elephant sat on my lower back for most of it (can't spell coxycs??) and was shitting the aforementioned watermelon at the same time. The pressure was constant, I couldn't differentiate between contractions - I think DS was back to back for most of the labour.
By the time I felt I couldn't hack it and needed more than the gas & air, I was fully dilated and ready to push, not that the midwives believed me until they checked! Knowing that I was on the home straight, I got my 2nd wind and coped with just G&A.

Pushing was pretty quick - three pushes and he was out. The pushing was the same level of pain as the contractions, but felt more 'productive' (obviously!) so didn't feel so bad.
His head was hard to push (small tear), then the rest of him came out on the 3rd push like a slippery bunch of grapes.

Crowning itself was like a kind of icy fire, but I breathed through it fine, my sis had told me to imagine it as an icy pain instead of what it really is - she even prepped me by holding my hand in an ice bucket!

I'm curious as to what it might be like next time - DS was 4wks early and had a tiny head, I've no idea what it'll be like delivering a full term baby!

Neeko Sat 16-Mar-13 11:47:48

I'd do my second child's birth again no problem. Waterbirth and my body just did what it was supposed to do. Was hard work and painful but also the most empowering experience of my entire life.

Good luck smile

caughtinagiggleloop Sat 16-Mar-13 11:58:31

My body took over and I just pushed when I needed it was all going fine and then the little blighter decided to get stuck in the birth canal so I had to get rushed off down to the delivery suite and she was finally born with forceps. I had an episiotomy and they gave me a local anaesthetic so I didn't feel the crowning at all.

They thought it was going be over quite quickly at first so they wouldn't give me an epidural and when they took me to the delivery suite, they didn't take the gas and air so I had nothing other than the local anaesthetic. I have a bit of a thing about needles though and I was more upset about that than I was about the pain of the contractions. All I remember about it was me (somewhat losing perspective by this time) crying and saying I didn't want the injection because it was going to hurt and the nurse doing the cutting saying "but Mrs Giggle, you're in labour..."hmm

Coffee1Sugar Sat 16-Mar-13 12:06:42

Like squeezing a watermelon out your nostril

Your body 'taking over'. I remember the MW saying 'you're doing really well, keep pushing!'. I wasn't putting any effort in at that point! Then when I did manage to actually put the effort into pushing along with my body, baby was out very quickly!

Tiddly - sounds just like my labour! The pushing bit was the easy bit!!

pensarefriends Sat 16-Mar-13 12:26:48

For me, the early contractions were the worst. Very intense, slicing, ripping sort of pain but because it comes in waves, and you know what it is, it is manageable, Pushing hurt but in a strangely comforting way. I guess like vomiting or doind a massive poo. You can't stop yourself, your baby is coming one way or another. Crowning is a different type of pain, sharp and stingey and came and went very quickly. It stops instantaneously when your baby is born. The best day of my entire life.
Good luck smile

StormyBrid Sat 16-Mar-13 13:07:24

Pushing was very much like constipation. Like when you've got a gigantic one in there, and your body's determined to get it out, and there's no holding it in no matter how scared you are of how much it's going to hurt. Pethidine helped a lot with getting over the fear and just going for it. Don't remember crowning at all, although I imagine it wasn't fun because apparently I shouted "Oh, fuck a duck" at that point.

Dilation was definitely worse. It was relentless - by the time I got to the hospital at 8cm, I would've done anything to just pause the whole thing and have a tea break. DD is now eight days old and I would totally do it again.

PotPourri Sat 16-Mar-13 13:10:58

Bad period pains multiplied by 1000, then doing doing a massive poo (midwife kept saying - push through your bottom) while your stomach cramps hard.

Listen to the midwife - at crowning, is best not to get it over with quickly even though you just want to push the baby out at that point.

thegreylady Sat 16-Mar-13 13:37:12

Mine were both fine. It felt like period pains which was followed by the feeling you get when you are constipated and have to push out a big hard poo! The great thing for me was that I was very very excited. I had read a lot before so I could identify each stage and couldn't wait for the baby.
I wasn't scared at all. I had one shot of pethidine before ds came and nothing with dd.
The good thing about labour is in the name-you are working really hard towards a really wonderful outcome so the pain has a point unlike most pain which means something is wrong, the pain of childbirth means your body is working properly.
I know some people have problems but most do not :-)

Weissdorn Sat 16-Mar-13 14:19:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeBFG Sat 16-Mar-13 14:19:41

Contractions went from mild to having-to-yell-through-them painful. Transition was the worst point (just after comic explosion of waters) - more psycologically than painful though. Pushing was bally painful too - cue roaring. Felt like throwing up but didn't. Crowning was odd - I don't remember this being painful, just being very aware of it and what was happening - was able to pant through it. No scratches or cuts. Although I thought I would feel the baby descend I didn't (thought I was pooing). The best bit was feeling baby turn as she came out.

bealos Sat 16-Mar-13 14:21:29

Same as you OP, I had epidural with first. Second time round (8 weeks ago, in fact) I had a home birth and it was amazing! I totally surrendered to the contractions and everything happened really fast - before I'd even thought to ring the midwife!

I would not say I actually pushed myself - it was totally expulsive, not painful that I remember. A little bit like when your body takes over with bad diarrhea and your body just empties itself downwards! Crowning didn't hurt - I had small 1st degree tear. Baby was out in less than 3 contractions.

CumbrianMum2 Sat 16-Mar-13 14:39:53

I've only had the one, and had her at home in a birthing pool (fantastically pain relieving), with gas and air for more pain relief (a LOT of gas and air). For me, the contractions were like the worst period pains you could imagine, and the pushing like the worst ever constipation. I remember getting really pissed off when I'd managed to push her out a cm or two, and then as the contraction passed, she seemed to slip back inside a little bit! Don't remember the crowning being so awful, largely because it was a sign that things were coming to an end. I do remember the midwives telling me to reach down so I could touch her head, and thinking I wasn't interested in touching a wretched head, just GET IT OUT!

Thewhingingdefective Sat 16-Mar-13 14:56:33

Been through labour twice. First time I had epidural at 3cm as I had pre eclampsia and it was a twin pgcy, so no real feeling of pain at all. I did get the urge to push though.

Second time around my waters broke and 40 minutes later got my first contraction. Within fifteen minutes they were strong, coming every 2-3 minutes.

It felt like being crushed to death by a boa constrictor and totally overwhelming as there was no time to recover between contractions. The feeling of being squeezed was from right under my boobs almost down to my knees. I felt like a tube of toothpaste.

Pushing was just like involuntarily pushing out a gigantic poo.

williaminajetfighter Sat 16-Mar-13 15:51:29

For me just getting to 10cm and the transition was dreadful. I was only on gas and air and tried a bit of pethidine (which made no difference). I thought contractions were going to be a crampy feeling but it felt, to me, like a really sharp stabby feeling. urgh.

Transition just felt like it was all getting too much. I never felt the urge to push which is odd as most people do. Midwife told me to start pushing and she was out in 3 pushes. I remember saying to the midwife - 'eek, this really stings' and then she was out. Probably a relatively easy labour as she was small (under 6 lbs). Can't imagine what would happen if I had to birth a 9 pounder!

PickledInAPearTree Sat 16-Mar-13 15:57:49

Like someone poking something up my bum. Not painful as such just a mad pressure and I turned a bit feral. I'd had nothing but 2 paracetamol though as the bastards sent me home the first time I went in. Not as bad as transitional phase for me.

PickledInAPearTree Sat 16-Mar-13 15:59:35

I had no ring of fire, I had a bum of death though.

Chocaholics Sat 16-Mar-13 16:11:46

I found the contractions much worse than pushing or crowning, they felt like someone was trying to squeeze me to death! Pushing didn't hurt at all as I couldn't feel the contraction and as both my DCs crowned I followed the midwifes advice. Felt like she was sliding the sides of my fanjo down the head although no idea if she was. To me crowning felt like a giant bowling ball in my groin, not exactly painful just loads of pressure and a desperate need to get the baby out.

MewlingQuim Sat 16-Mar-13 16:19:33

Pushing was like having an enormous poo.

MewlingQuim Sat 16-Mar-13 16:21:26

Actually, after spending most of my pregnancy constipated, it was a relief to have that enormous poo! grin

MewlingQuim Sat 16-Mar-13 16:23:05

Crowning -

Well OP biscuit sums it up really! grin

BigPigLittlePig Sat 16-Mar-13 18:09:04

OP I scoured this sort of thread before having dd 16 weeks ago. They made me alternately calm and shit scared. I suggest, when the terror gets too much, you search for "funny childbirth" stories. They will cheer you up no end grin

Poo again grin

Contractions like squeezy period pain, didnt find the pushing them out bit overly painful actually, just really uncomfortable. I'd liken it more to diarrhoea or vomiting than constipation though actually, that wavey cant-stop-it-its-coming-out-right-now feeling
And a big feeling of empty fanjo after they slipped out grin

RooneyMara Sat 16-Mar-13 18:25:08

I didn't notice it with ds1 as had a big ol' epidural top up just prior.

ds2 I was so scared and in so much pain I just thought I was going to break in half. I do remember the sensation that my body was just doing it whether I wanted it to or not - pushing up at the same time as down, from somewhere in the middle of my body. that's sometimes what makes people throw up, too - just the mechanics of it I think.
I was kneeling upright which must have helped.

ds3, I eventually got an epidural at about 8-9cm, so it hadn't stopped the pain but it had dimmed it - I could feel and notice all of it, I think I mentally logged it as I knew I'd never do it again.

And it did feel like doing a big poo. That was the only way I could think of to get him out - I knew he was right there, but thinking, Oh gosh, I actually have to strain like I'm pooing and someone's watching! - was weird. It worked though.

I think before that I was trying NOT to iyswim. It's not intuitive to poo in front of anyone. Just remember, that's what it feels like and so go with it. It will probably be easier and quicker if you can somehow stay upright as opposed to lying on your back.

I barely felt any pain with crowning - no ring of fire or anything like that - or indeed with anything else after I started pushing. For me transition is the worst bit and after that I'm laughing.

Sally40000 Sat 16-Mar-13 19:01:49

Its different if the baby is 180degrees, in this case more painful in second stage as the nose is pointing frontway, instead of back!!

Mandy21 Sat 16-Mar-13 19:25:52

For me, the actual pushing stage was a relief - meant I was nearly there. I have 3 children and I've never had the urge to push, I had to be told by the midwive that I needed to push and then follow her directions. I think contractions are far worse than the actual delivery. I do recall that with Number 3, I felt every movement in the birth canal and my contraction finished when her head was part way through, it really did feel like someone had put a bowling bowl up my vagina and wanted me to hold it there for 5 minutes hmm

bedmonster Sat 16-Mar-13 22:45:07

Oh dear. I have just read this entire thread and nodded along to everything. And have an overwhelming desire to have another confused.
The absolute truth is, no matter how much it hurts, and now loudly you scream that your fanny is on fire and you can't do it any more and you just want your mum (just me? blush), as soon as that slimy slippery body flops out, the whole world stops turning for a split second and you are in total awe. These endorphins whizz all around you and however drained you feel, you know that what you've just endured was completely worth it.

Xmasbaby11 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:22:04

I didn't get the whole rush when DD finally arrived - the whole experience was pure pain and far worse than I ever could have imagined. It was a long labour and DD was a 10 pounder. Thinking that it was 'worth it' doesn't mean anything because you don't really have any choice (unless offered c section which I wasn't). Of course it was worth it, but if there had been any other way I would have taken it.

abbyfromoz Sat 16-Mar-13 23:43:23

Well since you said you have experienced contraction pain you'll know what it's like but ime it felt like one of those cramps you get when you wake up in the middle of the night with your leg all twisted up and you are screaming and panicking like WTF?? Why is my leg all twisted up! Ahhh! Ahhh!! I want it to stop but i don't want to move or touch it because the pain is scary pain!!! (Ahh!ahh! And further ahh!).. Only not in your leg but your entire body resonating in the belly and nunee region and for longer and...more frequent...and gradually getting worse. When it came time to push i said i needed a poo and thats just what it felt like. Pushing took about 4 hours so that kinda sucked but during crowning it felt like burning for a minute...or an hour... it all just tends to fade away now (or i've blocked it out) although nothing compared to contraction pain (actually felt quite relieving). Took longer to get placenta out but that's another thread.

abbyfromoz Sat 16-Mar-13 23:44:22

Xmasbaby11- mine was a 10pounder too wink yay for us haha!

BoffinMum Sat 16-Mar-13 23:46:28

For me period pains x 10 plus the largest imaginable poo. Survivable. Did it four times!

colditz Sat 16-Mar-13 23:50:38

The biggest poo in the universe and cramps

mylovelymonster Sat 16-Mar-13 23:50:41

First labour can't comment as all a bit pear-shaped but turned out well.
Second time, didn't feel like I needed to push, but blew out hard on the strong contractions to not stop my body from naturally pushing, if that makes any sense at all. I didn't actually need to do any pushing but needed to stop tensing up and stopping it all going ahead - although it was all very quick this time so had to try to slow down a bit...
Sorry if not very helpful grin

colditz Sat 16-Mar-13 23:53:13

Plus it isn't a frightening pain. For most pains, you either don't know the cause and that's scary, or you do know the cause and it means there's something wrong! But with labour pains, all it means is that a baby's coming, so not a scary pain. A big pain, but not mysterious.

ScrambledSmegs Sat 16-Mar-13 23:53:47

I think my body took over. I remember a lot of pressure, which lessened significantly when my waters went. Then DD2 came along about a minute later! Very fast labour, I was trying to hold back (under orders) but it was incredibly difficult.

Yes, crowning stung a bit. However, I'd had a cannula put in as soon as I'd arrived at the birth centre, and that was absolutely the worst bit of labour. Especially as the first two attempts to get it in failed. Actually pushing the baby out (9lb 4oz) was a doddle in comparison.

margot1962 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:56:13

I had two natural births in the Netherlands (in Amsterdam) as they are very anti pain relief, or used to be. I had my first born in the bedroom, as the mid wife did not not turn up in time. Luckily all was fine, but the pregnancy yoga I'd done definitely helped, especially getting into comfortable positions: head down, bum up during contractions whilst waiting for someone to arrive to help, then getting into a crouching position to give birth. Get into a comfortable position and use gravity to help you. No-one should give birth lying down, unless there is a good medical reason!

janji Sat 16-Mar-13 23:56:30

Pushing was a relief and luckily very quick for me (only 10 mins). Body did its own thing even for crowning!

mylovelymonster Sat 16-Mar-13 23:56:31

For me it was more pressure than pain I think. Early labour way more painful in my experience, second stage remarkably functional and not so unbearably draggingly painful. I did the raspberry leaf tea for a few weeks before (37+) which may/may not have helped. Just one cup a dynamite.
You'll be fine - moving into the anxious gearing up for labour stage? Soon be there - try not to worry!!

mylovelymonster Sat 16-Mar-13 23:57:37

Yes yes to position - I was on all fours with front up a bit hugging lots of pillows grin

JaydeO91 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:58:57

My first felt like somebody had a fire torch up there burnt like hell.

NorbertDentressangle Sun 17-Mar-13 00:03:40

I was going to say its like pooing a watermelon but actually its more like pooing a spiky pineapple thats the size of a watermelon.

FaceLikeAPickledOnion Sun 17-Mar-13 00:07:06

The pushing stage wasn't painful at all for me but if you would of been stood outside the room you would of thought I was in agony with the noise I was making, but it was because of the effort of the pushing iyswim.
Contraction pains otoh were excruciating and I was begging for an epidural, which they wouldn't give me, but I'm glad they didn't because as I said above, pain considerably subsided when pushing started.
Crowning stung to fuck! But thankfully, doesn't last long, a minute perhaps?
Then push, push, pop, head out, push, slide body out, newborn snuggles! smile

laward Sun 17-Mar-13 00:10:29

Horrifically painful. Felt like I was on fire throughout the active stage. 3rd degree tear & episiotomy later I wouldn't go through it again.

Consultant MW & Consultant said this time there wont be time for an epidural as its unlikely to take more than 3.5 hrs. I have opted for a c-section which is on Monday.

chickensaladagain Sun 17-Mar-13 00:22:37

Dd1 epidural so no idea but I pushed like a demon when I was told I had a contraction and tore really badly

Dd2 no pain relief at all
Felt like needing a massive poo and I can remember pushing but then when my fanjo started to feel burny I stopped
Midwife just stood and watched saying she felt redundant and I delivered the head in 3 pushes and she was out the next push
Apparently I made it look like shelling peas -but I never felt the need to do it again strangely

margot1962 Sun 17-Mar-13 00:25:09

I would also like to say (and this might be unpopular) please don't stress about breast feeding! It's great if you can, and it's important to try, to get that first colostrum in (antibodies etc). Definitely do it as long as you can, but don't worry if you need to give the odd bottle of formula if your baby is hungry and you need a sleep! Tbh, if I was a cow I would not be a good milker. But my daughters are at top universities now, so do not stress!

BeCool Sun 17-Mar-13 00:41:28

Both my births I didn't really have a pushing stage. Lots of contractions. Then what I describe as a surging feeling and the babies just came flying out.

With dd2 I had 3 or 4 contractions where I felt the surging. Dd1 just came flying out - though after 36 hours of contractions.

No sensation at all of needing a poo and with dd1 the midwife kept saying this and I found it confusing. There was no mistaking what was going on and where.

DS#1 I felt the urge before I was ready. Midwife said not to push and I laughed because it was not something I had any control of at all. It made me grunt like a pig (really!)

DS#2 I didn't feel like I needed to push, like it was happening without me. Nurse told me to push and I told her I didn't want to. I was in that weird state where I couldn't really explain what was going on. She laughed about me to my Dr and he was sweet and said I didn't have to push if I didn't want to. Then he said "how about half a push to see" and I did a tiny push and his head came out. Booyah rude nurse!

pixi2 Sun 17-Mar-13 05:21:45

The pushing stage wasn't half bad. I would rather do that than 33 hours of vomit inducing contractions.
I was too tired to scream during pushing, I remember uttering something about changing my mind and not wanting the baby out.

If you are due to give birth il will leave it there and bit tell you the next part of my story. Ds was born and he was perfect and despite everything, I remember a midwife on the ward giving me a leaflet on contraception choices after birth. I said I didn't want it. She told me about bring super fertile after giving birth and I'd be back in nine months if I didn't. I smiled and said twelve plus months as I wasn't letting DH near me for three but after that we would be trying again.

GreenLeafTea Sun 17-Mar-13 06:22:26

I honestly can't remember. I had both births with no pain relief. I remember the second time needing to pee and they lifted me to go to the toilet which was a huge mistake as I couldn't get back. I just remember panicking a lot.

bigbuttons Sun 17-Mar-13 09:41:30

I have 6 and the pushing stage was a blessed relief. Transition was a nightmare. I wanted to die. Mind you I only pushed for max of 5 mins. Still a hell of a lot easier than transition.

BoffinMum Sun 17-Mar-13 09:45:57

Need to poo - brace self - momentary ring of fire - keep it slow, breathe nicely - there we go, gosh that's wierd, having another person's head between my thighs - another push - right, sorted. Is it alive?

That's what goes through my head each time.

Discolite Sun 17-Mar-13 09:54:02

OP I was going to ask this very question!

I had DS (first time I've written that) 8 days ago. My waters broke about 6.30am, was checked out in hospital and sent home. I started getting contractions by about 9am but they were irregular (2-3 mins apart) and lasted only 30-45 seconds. It was pretty painful but I coped until 2pm when I went back to hospital despite a certain degree of scepticism from the midwives, which was fair enough. I'm a first time mum and my contractions were weird. Anyway, when they finally examined with via a speculum (after 90 min wait as they weren't convinced I was even in labour and didn't want to cause an infection) I was 9.5cm dilated! We were all surprised grin but I was just glad I wasn't overestimating the pain.

I pushed in the water for an hour with gas and air and the pushing was much better than just contracting. Problem was, it didn't work. So I pushed on the bed for 30 mins. DS still didn't move. He didn't budge with the addition of a syntocin drip and a further hour of pushing. So it went to a spinal block and forceps as he was firmly stuck. He hadn't even made it past the cervix, he was presenting on the side of the crown of his head and he had his chin stuck out, so he would never have made it out on his own. It may be an uncommon view on the net but I thank god for forceps, they got him out and both he and I are undamaged.

My question is to anyone who has this type of birth and a birth where they've pushed out the baby themselves - how did the pain of fruitless pushing compare to the sensation of the baby actually moving through the vagina? And how did the pain of dilation compare to crowning? I didn't actually notice transition myself and although contracting and pushing was painful, I did cope. I'm just interested as I've already told DS that with any luck he'll have a brother or sister before too long!

BoffinMum Sun 17-Mar-13 11:07:24

I had one big baby who came out in the superman position and only just managed an unassisted birth as he was my third. Crowning was the same as normal but pushing took a lot longer. In the photos I look absolutely knackered!

BoffinMum Sun 17-Mar-13 11:08:59

I would add that while I was pushing I remember thinking ' this feels odd, something's not quite right, I had better focus my technique a bit'.

BoffinMum Sun 17-Mar-13 11:15:01

Birth is the nearest most of us get to an Olympic sporting achievement!

Discolite, IME and O it felt about the same (DS was asynclitic (ear first) and wound up as an EMCS, then I had two VBACs with DD1 and DD2). But there was a lot less pushing in the productive second stages and it all went (obviously) far quicker.

But then I didn't really feel pain from the fruitless pushing -- the bit I would have said was painful/distressing was the bits where I was asked NOT to push for a bit in spite of the overwhelming urge to do so.

It's like a major bum cramp, whilst feeling as though you are squeezing a watermelon through your bum, although obviously baby is coming down your birth canal/vagina. Then a burning/stinging pain comes next as you try to give birth, that is felt in your vagina. Then when baby is born comes massive relief as you feel baby slip out, the most magical bit smile. Although i never enjoyed labour as was painful, the ending was really special, nothing compared to it. I remember all my babies being born.

ohmentalnessisme Sun 17-Mar-13 13:09:46

Pushing felt totally primal, uncontrollable and incredible! I remember shouting that I didn't want to push and then my body just did it anyway. I went really hot and sweaty then this awesome power took over, it did feel like my arse was turning inside out but I have never felt stronger than I did then. It took about 50 minutes but only felt like about 5. I went to a strange place in my head and just went with my instincts. Have faith op, the human body is an amazing thing! smile

Scrambled yy to the canula being the worst bit! Took four attempts to get one into me for DS2 (induced) which wasnt even used for anything! That was about half an hour and he was born then less than two hours after they broke my waters! grin

I was still bruised from the canula attempts 12 weeks later!!

neontetra Sun 17-Mar-13 17:08:23

For me the pushing bit was the best bit, very primal. Conversely, also felt like I was ripping myself in two. But then thought, what choice do I have, so just went for it!

piratecat Sun 17-Mar-13 18:47:00

I had no urge to push at all. Never ending back and forthness for two hours. Hideous, sorry but it was.

OhGood Sun 17-Mar-13 19:43:28

Yes I think I will...

rooney best piece of advice I had before DD was 'push like you're doing a poo'. Really worked. But because there was no pain, I wasn't scared of pushing, whereas at 9cms I was even scared of letting them break my waters because I just didn't want to do anything to make it worse.

laward good luck tomorrow!

So - summarise: like pooing out a bowling ball that's on fire, or possibly a watermelon with spikes...but if baby's in good position, and you get lucky, you might get away with the pain being more manageable than transition, your body taking over to help you push, crowning without tearing and then...ta da! Baby! And the weird empty fanjo feeling beyond the limits talks about.

I keep thinking about how many women are doing this round the world right now. Women are amazing.

After being told for an hour not to push (impossible for me, and trying not to was very painful), I was transferred by ambulance to the big city hospital as DS was in distress. As soon as we arrived the new midwife took one look at me and told me to push NOW. As soon as I did, the pain vanished. It was 20 minutes of quiet. I didn't feel him crowning - I had an episiostomy so I'm guessing this was because of the local anasthetic (if so why don't they give you anasthetic for that bit regardless of whether or not you need and episostomy?). Felt his body slither out but it didn't hurt.
I actually found the first few days of breastfeeding far worse.

RooneyMara Sun 17-Mar-13 20:52:51

'Definitely do it as long as you can, but don't worry if you need to give the odd bottle of formula if your baby is hungry and you need a sleep!'

I totally agree about not But just to add that it can mess with your milk supply if you top up with formula. (I'm sure most people will do their own research anyway!)

actually I really, really need a sleep right now but am terrified of mucking up bf! plus have no formula in the house and no idea what to do with it if I did...

WellHello Sun 17-Mar-13 21:32:02

I remember feeling bloody glad to finally get to the pushing stage and get the show on the road! I was pushing for ages though, had to have slight help from the suction cup thingy at the last minute. Briefly remember the stinging of the crowning but they cut me to make it all easier as Id been at it for so long and ran out of steam.
If it doesnt take too long, you'll find the pushing stage a sort of relief, as it gives you something to do with all that pressure/pain.

atrcts Mon 18-Mar-13 07:54:55

I didn't feel the urge to push even though I apparently had been in that stage for over 2 1/2 hrs 'pushing' down a pretend poo when I was told to, but feeling no urge at all whatsoever so a little bit confusing for me!

I had been induced and was on a drip which made the contractions strong and painful - I had no burning at the crowning stage, but the 'contractions' became unbearably sharp and sore, so I was beggin for some pain relief but they denied it as I apparently had to 'feel' to push (which didn't work).

In the end I was consented for c section or forceps and rushed to theatre where they gave me a spinal block and I managed to delivery on the 3rd and final push of a forceps pull.

So to this day it is still a mystery to me when people describe crowning feelig like a ring of fire and the natural urge to push being like a poo or vomiting, as I have given birth without experiencing either of these.

tilder Mon 18-Mar-13 08:03:05

After the irrational weird behavior of transition, at least something (hopefully) happens during pushing. Just keep pushing as long as you can each time.

My pushing stage has been quicker each time too. But crowning always really smarts.

Good luck, focus on the end game and listen to your dp and midwife.

frazzledbutcalm Mon 18-Mar-13 10:12:16

I've had 4 dc and NEVER felt the urge to push. Midwife had to tell me each time. Only had pain relief for dc1, nothing with other 3 so it wasn't like there was anything stopping me from feeling the urge. I felt like I needed to poo with dc1 but it wasn't a strong urge making me know I was ready to push.. With dc2 and dc3 midwife (who was my sister) knew from my changed body language that it was time for me to push. I go deathly quite in labour, do not speak, or anything! Dc4 I felt pressure so I knew it was time (finally cottoned on after first 3!), but it didn't feel like the overwhelming urge everyone talks about. For me, pushing through the pain did take all the pain away so it was easier than the labour pains. Thankfully, only felt crowning with dc2. It was the horrendous ring of fire as mentioned by others, but usually it's over very quickly.

Theicingontop Mon 18-Mar-13 12:05:56

I was induced and was being a complete nutter about no pain relief. It was excruciatingly painful, back-to-back contractions, no let up.

When I felt the urge to push, it was absolute bliss. It didn't hurt at all and actually felt really nice, like the beginnings of an orgasm blush. The only pain I felt was a slight sting as I tore a little bit (couldn't control my pushing). Had gas and air for the stitches and realised I'd been taking it wrong throughout my whole labour, and got quite high.

withjamin Mon 18-Mar-13 14:34:36

I think what freaked me out the first time was that it isn't just painful, it's really really intense in a "this is my whole body doing something massively massive on it's own" sort of way. I ended up with an epidural for DD1, overstimulated by syntocin drip and shaking with agony.
Second time round, had mentally prepared myself to try and roll with the punches a bit more. It took a lot of self-control to dig in and let it happen.
Good luck!

frumpet Mon 18-Mar-13 14:56:44

The contractions feel like the worst period pain mixed with trapped wind . Then there is the crowning , which is like doing the biggest peanutty poo in the world ever , you know where you are afraid to push it out because you are not sure your sphincter will stretch enough and it stings like buggery when you do ? well like that but worse grin

Still not as bad as a tooth abbcess though

Bumpsadaisie Mon 18-Mar-13 15:59:32

DD was an epidural so didn't feel it, I had to 'think' to push.

With DS it wasn't an urge to push as in, "oh, I need to push, so let's push". It was more like throwing up, only a much bigger sensation. You know what I mean? You don't decide to throw up, it just happens and your stomach convulses. Well the pushing was similar for me, except much bigger, like my whole body convulsing and expelling. Very intense but not painful. More kind of "bloody hell what is THIS".

The contractions were just like horrid cramps. At transition I noticed the crampy feelings starting to also be a bit convulsion-y, a bit push-y. Which made sense as I was moving from dilation to pushing.

Crowning stung. But not hellish. And it's over quick. And you can't do anything about it anyway. You really just have time to go "Christ it stings!!" and then it's pretty much over.

BoffinMum Mon 18-Mar-13 17:06:29

I never really got what I would term an overwhelming urge to push, it was more an awareness. I could have had a choice whether to do it or not, IYSWIM. But I was able to get into a bit of a rhythm and do it quite efficiently from about the second DC onwards.

Crocodilehunter Tue 02-Apr-13 21:02:05

To me it felt like when you have diarreah and you can feel your whole body pushing involuntarily, then you push too, I remember it more as pressure rather than pain at that point, the crowning hurt but the rest was fine (remember relaxing completely once the head was out & DP telling me that job wasn't done yet grin ) but for me (aside from crowning) pushing was the best part of labour!!

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