Has anyone given birth to a large baby without tearing?

(89 Posts)
Sheldonella Mon 11-Mar-13 16:08:44

Just that really. I'm 40+2 and just had a midwife appointment. I measured 41 weeks and asked how big the baby is likely to be. She said most likely going to be big and with regards to the birth I can "have a go". I suppose she meant she expects me to need intervention or a section. I'm quite upset now sad

elliejjtiny Mon 11-Mar-13 17:12:02

Midwives weight guesses are very inaccurate. I was told DS3 would be huge but he was 8lb 12oz, same size as his brothers give or take an oz or 2. I had DS1 - 8lb 13.5oz - graze, no stitches, DS2 - 8lb 10oz and DS3 - 8lb 12oz, no stitches, tears or grazes. Bigger babies (9lb ish, rather than 12lb whoppers) tend to be easier than 6-7lb babies as gravity helps. Measuring a few days ahead is nothing, honestly. DS1 was measuring 3 weeks ahead and wasn't that big. DS3 measured 2 weeks ahead before my waters broke and 1 week behind afterwards.

booboomonster Mon 11-Mar-13 17:16:53

hey Sheldon, hope you are ok love. Don't fret about this - the baby is bound to be bigger if you are overdue, but chances are it's body weight rather than big head (which is the crucial bit as far as I know).

I had a very minimal tear (1st degree, one stitch 'if I wanted') with DD2 who was 10lbs 4. The same with DD1 who was not small at 8lbs 2.

Honestly, these midwives don't know how much power they wield with their comments. I was told I was breech at 38 weeks and panicked at the thought of C section. Then, a week later told not breech at all (I didn't think there had been any turning either before or after so suspect midwife was wrong all along). Measurements too are only a rough estimate - even scans are way off (I was scanned on day of birth with DD2 and they thought 9lbs). Don't fret, take it easy and keep moving to help baby down.

Ooh, I know someone who could give you an answer you'd like to hear! But she's also a mumsnetter, so it's really not my place to share. Sorry. I just wanted to point out that a big baby doesn't mean a CS or major damage. I'm also pregnant, and her birth story has given me hope. smile

Flisspaps Mon 11-Mar-13 17:21:13

DD was 8lb 2oz. She was a forceps delivery, due to crappy positioning and not descending properly. I had an episiotomy and a 3a tear.

DS was 11lb 7oz. He was a forceps delivery, again down to crappy positioning. I had an episiotomy but no tearing. I recovered from his birth considerably better, and faster, than I did with DD.

Just because a baby is big, doesn't mean you are bound to have intervention - it's entirely possible that you will be able to give birth without intervention. Your MW sounds like she needs to stop and think about what comes out of her mouth.

Becp Mon 11-Mar-13 17:24:11

Hi I've had 4 babies & only had to have stitches after my first & he was the tiniest at 7lb7 the largest was 9lb 3 and I was fine with her (I'm only 5'1" btw) Best advice i can give is try to relax, all the best smile

PeachActiviaMinge Mon 11-Mar-13 17:32:04

DD was 10lb 4oz 3 hour labour with just gas and air and 2 stitches "just in case".

In the case of big babies gravity works grin

I'm 34 weeks pregnant with what is looking like being another big baby (currently measuring 4 weeks ahead) I'm not too worried our bodies are designed for this and with DD I was stopped by a Midwife in the streets and asked if I was having triplets at 34 weeks I denied it and she was convinced it had to be twins then! Now that terrified me! grin

BartletForTeamGB Mon 11-Mar-13 17:54:01

9lbs 2oz - small graze

Sheldonella Mon 11-Mar-13 17:56:48

Oh wow, so many responses, thank you so much! I can't tell you how much better all your experiences make me feel. I'm a bit freaked out because my cousin had a 3rd degree tear with a 8 1/2 lb baby and this is my worst nightmare. I'm mostly annoyed with the midwife now, I thought they were supposed to be reassuring!

I suppose there is nothing I can do if I need a c section and I can make my peace with that but I know that my hospital is very resistant to elective sections and will only let you have them in extreme cases. I just hate the thought of labouring for ages, trying forceps etc and then needing an EMCS anyway.

However now I have read your comments I feel more positive and will still hope I can get through it all naturally. I am quite big myself (5'9") so hopefully my big childbearing hips and accommodate it.

DS was 9lb 5 with a 95th centile head. Born at home (planned homebirth) with no tearing. My two previous deliveries were both smaller babies and I had episiotomies with both.

5madthings Mon 11-Mar-13 18:09:11

10lb 13oz with a head that was off the top of the centile charts and no tears. Labour of under an hour, he was born in birth pool.

My others were 8lb 7oz episiotomy due to three hr pushing stage.

9lb 3oz small tear

9lb 5oz A graze

10lb 13oz aa i said all fine!

8lb exactly all fine.

4 boys and then dd.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 11-Mar-13 18:10:07

my second was 10lb5oz and i didn't tear.

ATouchOfStuffing Mon 11-Mar-13 19:17:18

I was told not to expect a baby bigger than 8.6 max even though I was huge and put on 3.5st. I kept asking because I had a home birth planned with a pool and no drugs. Needless to say I was taken into hospital after a 3 day labour and had an EMCS. In the end I was eternally grateful though as she was 10.1 Ibs and I really really would not have wanted to do that for my first child with no drugs! They may well get the size wrong, but if you keep an open mind about birth and accept they will do what is safest for you and baby, then you will be fine. Try to stay flexible, as I was really sad not to be at home/epidural etc until I heard how big she was!

Pinkbump3 Mon 11-Mar-13 19:18:46

dd1 9lb13oz small tear i didnt feel it and wasnt painful just a little sting
dd2 8lb13oz no tear little graze delivered when only 8cm dilated
dd3 8lb13oz no tear or graze

mimmymouse Mon 11-Mar-13 19:22:55

10lb 4oz. No tearing. Lovely birth. You'll be aces. Good luck!

HobKnob Mon 11-Mar-13 19:25:12

10lb 6oz.

One hour from waters breaking to birth. (induced labour)

Not a single tear, graze, nothing.

onedev Mon 11-Mar-13 19:27:21

It's hard not to stress yourself, but if its any consolation, I've had 3 boys 8lb 3oz, 9lb 12 & 9lb 11 oz - all without any tearing.

notjustamummythankyou Mon 11-Mar-13 19:29:30

I too was told dc2 was going to be big and to expect at least a 9 pounder, 'probably more'.

She was 7.5, and I had an (unintentional) vbac in just under 90 minutes without so much as a graze.

Good luck!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 11-Mar-13 19:30:42

9lbs 11oz and 11lb, both born at home in water, no pain relief and only grazes both times. My friend had 3rd degree tears with both hers and they were both 6lb.

I can only conclude it is to do with positioning (mothers and baby's).

The MW should have kept her negative (and incorrect) comments to herself angry

Floweryhat Mon 11-Mar-13 19:30:44

8lb 10oz, so not enormous, but well above average smile. The biggest of my four children and the NLT one I didn't tear with. Tearing's not so bad necessarily. I tore naturally during water births with ds2 and ds4. I didn't feel either at the time, didn't need stitches and all healed absolutely beautifully.

Floweryhat Mon 11-Mar-13 19:33:00

Oh yes, forgot ds3 and ds4 both had heads at the top of the chart, with very wide backs to them hmm. No problems with either smile

BeaWheesht Mon 11-Mar-13 19:33:20

I had 8lb12oz and 9lb4oz babies - I dd tear but very minimally - one stitch each time.

theressomethingaboutmarie Mon 11-Mar-13 19:38:20

I was told that DS would be big at a midwife appointment. Eleven hours later I gave birth to a 6lb 1oz DS....

TheSecondComing Mon 11-Mar-13 19:39:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

My boys were 8'10 and 8'2 and I grazed slightly with the bigger one abd had a tiny perineal tear with the smaller. No stitches.

Don't panic, I know of a very petite woman who had two ten pounders with no problems.... Size has very little to do with it.

BanjoPlayingTiger Mon 11-Mar-13 19:42:48

My 10lb 5oz dc only caused a tiny tear that was too small to warrant stitching. I too am 5'9" and have good childbearing hips. One thing my midwife said was that the size of your pelvis is more or less the size of your feet, so if you've big feet it will be easier to give birth. (It's one of those things like your arm span is the same as your height etc)

I don't know if it is just an old wives tale, but it seemed to bear out with me.

Lucyellensmum95 Mon 11-Mar-13 19:45:05

9Ilb 9oz no pain relief no stitches, they put that on the notice board in the tea room at work - blush

Lucyellensmum95 Mon 11-Mar-13 19:46:03

ooh, im a size 7/8 banjo (but only 5'2")

Flisspaps Mon 11-Mar-13 20:48:45

The foot thing is untrue.

speedyboots Mon 11-Mar-13 20:49:30

Sorry to hijack, but can I ask those of you who had minimal or no tearing if you did anything particular (e.g. birth positions, perineal massage) or it was just luck/positioning etc? I'm 31 weeks with ds1 and he is predicted to be on the large side, so I'm a bit worried about tearing.

BeaWheesht Mon 11-Mar-13 20:53:19

I didn't do anything to stop tearing.

5madthings Mon 11-Mar-13 20:55:23

Foot thing is rubbish. I sm 5 2 with size 4 feet and ds4 was 10lb 13oz with 42cm head circumference.

MrSlant Mon 11-Mar-13 20:57:11

DS3 was 9lb 11 and I had a tiny tear, the secret being a v-e-r-y s-l-o-w last bit, just let him ease himself out. (He was all head as well, HUGE!)

AmberLav Mon 11-Mar-13 20:57:22

Tearing is not the end of the world - yes, it's better not to, but if you do, it can be absolutely fine... I was given the option of being stitched up by the midwives or the surgical team, and I opted for the surgical team, and I've had no problems since (my sister had a less happy outcome with a stitch happy midwife, and I learnt from her...) But I am hoping that 2nd time (currently 35 weeks) is better, as I'd rather not have to stay in the hospital any longer than I have to...

notnowbernard Mon 11-Mar-13 20:59:32

I had a 10lb 2oz baby and didn't tear

The Mw at the 38w appt predicted an 8lber

Prob worth me mentioning I had a 7lb 8oz and did tear... And the Mw had predicted an 8 and a half baby

So you just don't know! Good luck smile

habbibu Mon 11-Mar-13 21:02:01

dd was 10lb 11oz, with a Big Head. slight tear and bruising, just a couple of stitches that healed well. she did get a tiny bit stuck, but mw and obs dealt with it brilliantly, and no intervention was required. she made space for ds, who came flying out, weighing 9lb 2oz. I'm 5'4.

curryeater Mon 11-Mar-13 21:03:50

Don't worry! The MW has no real way of knowing how big your baby is, and even if the baby is very big, all could be well.
When it comes to the pushing stage, do what the mw tells you, she will look after you as much as possible.
If you do tear, it will probably heal very fast.
(I had 3rd degree with 9lb dc1, I panicked and pushed too hard too fast. With dc2 the mw controlled it all a lot more and there was no tear. Even the 3rd degree tear was not too bad, I had a lot of stitches but it all healed very quickly)

Sticklebug Mon 11-Mar-13 21:11:47

My DS was 9'10 and was much easier delivery than my DD at 8'6. I am under 5 foot and am petite. Stitches with DD, but v easy birth with DS - no stitches and under 2 hours of labour.

Good luck

PickleSarnie Mon 11-Mar-13 21:17:46

DS2 was 8lb 11oz and with a head that was well above the 99.6th centile. Had two midwives and two trainees gathered round my bits afterwards to figure out if I needed any stitches. They put one in after much discussion. Was little more than a scratch really.

Hallo, don't worry you can do stuff to avoid tearing but I also do agree with the gravity + big baby theory too grin. labour produces stacks of hormones that will soften everything up that will help too

My dd was 9lb 10.5 and was born at 41+5

Can you ask about a water birth, I'm sure that being good and soaked and pruney helped me, I had also tried a bit of massage down there with oil as I measured consistently ahead throughout my pregnancy but not sure if it worked as I couldn't reach for the last few weeks lol!

I had a little graze but no tears btw

5madthings Mon 11-Mar-13 21:55:07

Yes i think water helps my big baby was born in the pool.

DD1 9lbs9oz no tear

DD2 8lbs 2oz@ 38 weeks out in 4 pushes no tear.

Raspberry Leaf Tea tablets for last 6 weeks.

Oh & a bloody good midwife for both who told the doctor to bugger off when he was muttering about a CS following induction with DD2 ! grin

steppemum Mon 11-Mar-13 23:25:46

dc3 was 10lbs 7oz. No tear, no cuts, no stitches

BUT she was no. 3 after 2 other big babies (and I had a episiotomy with no 1)

The midwife was very good at saying 'wait, breathe' when the head crowned, so I felt the stinging stretch as described in the books, and then it was fine

colditz Mon 11-Mar-13 23:27:51

8lb 7oz, small graze, first baby, five foot two mother with narrow pelvis bones.

colditz Mon 11-Mar-13 23:29:03

Ps, ds1's head was so big that they had a consultant in looking for hydrocephalus.

speedyboots Tue 12-Mar-13 08:58:26

Thanks - good to hear that tearing is not a bad experience for everyone. Although it does make me cross my legs every time I think of it. Bit late for that now I suppose.

dinkystinky Tue 12-Mar-13 09:05:50

Sheldonella - the position you give birth in can help you reduce the risk of tearing - as well as some support from the MW on delivery. Please dont worry about it - and ignore all the big baby comments. I was told I was carrying big babies too (am 5 ft 4 and DH is 6 ft 2 so they obviously got more of his genes). In the end DS1 was only a 9 lber and DS2 was 8 lbs 6. I did tear abit with both as on my back in stirrups with DS1 (not my choice!) and DS2's delivery was so fast - but it wasnt all that bad. I agree with others, gravity does help with bigger babies.

Branleuse Tue 12-Mar-13 09:08:16

10lb, home birth, nothing. No tearing. I bloody felt that one crown though eyes water

I had a worse time with my first baby who was only 6lb2

FirstTimeForEverything Tue 12-Mar-13 09:08:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Soditall Tue 12-Mar-13 09:14:11

My largest was 9lb 2 and was by far my easiest to deliver and I was a tiny little thing at the time.I had no tear or stitches.

Branleuse Tue 12-Mar-13 09:15:29

id say if its a big baby, try and listen to YOUR body instincts as much as possible.
Im not against drugs. I take painkillers for the first sign of a headache, but i tried for as little as possible in childbirth, because if theyre strong enough to stop you feeling a massive baby coming out, then theyre too strong to let you listen to your body and get into the right positions for YOU, not for the doctors, and not for the midwives. My midwives on my last birth were all about trying to get me to sit up, or try and walk and i had to shout at them that i knew what i was doing, and gave birth to both my last two lying down on my side, propped upwith my leg held up.

Really, dont be frightened of the fact baby might be big. It really doesnt make much difference because most of labour is contractions, rather than baby being pushed out, and the last bit is pretty quick anyway.

Competent experienced midwife that you trust and it wont be an issue at all.

Start letting them get all medical and frightenening on you, and you will end up with intervention no matter what size baby is

Abigail9580 Tue 12-Mar-13 09:20:01

My boy was 10.8lb with a 40cm head! I did tear, but didn't have forceps etc, and I was told a natural tear heals better rather then a cut. And that was the case for me. Plus you don't notice the moment that you tear, the whole thing just stings at the time anyway!

Xenia Tue 12-Mar-13 09:26:45

I think it can depend on if it's a first, second etc. I did not tear at all with any baby from number 3 - 5 and that included reasonably large twins born at 40 weeks (which is pretty late for twins).

I agree with Abigail my small tear with number 2 was better than the cut with number 1 which look longer to heal.

TheonlyWayisGerard Tue 12-Mar-13 09:29:25

Just a quick note to reassure you that tearing doesn't have to be the worse thing to happen .
DD was just over 8lb, so not massive, yet I had a third/fourth degree tear requiring a spinal and repair job in theatre. It wasn't that bad. Obviously it smarted a bit afterwards, but only for a day or two, then healed quickly and I have no continence issues or pain two years on, nor have I ever had any issues.

ghoulelocks Tue 12-Mar-13 09:33:42

mine were 9lb 3oz and 5lb 5oz, both felt like giving birth (ie hurt) and recovery the same, not much between. My friend who had 7lb 7oz and 10lb 8oz agrees

ghoulelocks Tue 12-Mar-13 09:47:52

I found the tear easier than grazing all over weirdly, I was weeping on the loo for ages with grazing but the tear (and painkillers!) was more manageable (and easier to keep wee off- tmi?)

BionicEmu Tue 12-Mar-13 11:05:59

DC1 was only 6lb exactly (but huge really as 6 weeks early!), but I tore badly. Huge internal tear, including my cervix. Could only have gas & air and local anaesthetic for the stitches as can't have spinal for medical reasons & the consultant wanted me stitched asap to reduce risk of further damage if I sneezed etc. Took almost as long to stitch me up as it did to have the baby - labour time was 2hr 15 mins. So smaller babies are not necessarily better!

Had DC2 seven weeks ago, docs & midwives agreed baby would be 10lbs +. In reality she was 7lb 1oz, & I didn't tear at all. Even faster labour though - 1hr 7 mins, and that was induced on the drip.

For me, the big difference was the panting. I said to DH that his most important job during labour was to make me pant when the midwife said to. So he got right in front of me and yelled "pant! Pant! Pant or you'll tear!". It worked - I heard him through the gas & air fog and panted, & hey presto, no tear.

In addition, a good friend of mine has just had a 10lb 9oz baby with no tears or stitches!

Sheldonella Tue 12-Mar-13 13:13:57

These are all great stories. I am supposed to be having a water birth if I go into labour naturally so am encouraged by the stories of not tearing in water. Also the experiences of tearing don't sound so bad either.

I will come back and let you all know how much she weighs when she is here smile

mimmymouse Tue 12-Mar-13 15:06:20

Please do!! And very good luck to you. So much positivity to remember from this thread. Listen to your midwife and breathe!!

honeytea Tue 12-Mar-13 15:35:09

My ds was 10 pounds and I did tear (2nd degree) but it was actually fine, I didn't feel pain with the tear happening despite having no drugs by that point. It felt sort of warm feeling, like a chinese burn (not sure if it politically correct to say chinese burn.)

I healed fine and have no pelvic floor issues now.

Good luck! It is easy for me to say now but try not to worry, I begged for an elcs at 41+2 when a scan showed ds was around 10 pounds, they said if I got to 41+3 I could have an elcs but ds was born the day I should have had the section. It was the most amazing experience, I really enjoyed it I am so glad he came when he did and I got to experience a v-birth.

My advice is keep upright, I don't think I would have been able to have him without intervention if I had been lieing down, I just couldn't sit/lie down for mst of the labour every instict in my body was making me stand up.

LucyLight Tue 12-Mar-13 15:40:57

1st baby - 8lb exactly - induced in hospital - a couple of stitches. (BTW worried the life out of me as the told me she was going to be small! She was a slim long baby and perfectly proportioned). Great birth though...and labour - hospital and midwives fantastic.

2nd baby - 9lb 3 - (I think) - Water birth at home - no tearing at all.....v easy and relaxed - again great midwives.

Tipp - keep upright for as long as possible and get in water to relax...

shelley72 Tue 12-Mar-13 16:02:04

i had a small baby - 6lb7oz and a hideous third deg tear needing a spinal, two hours in theatre and months of pain afterwards sad. so it doesnt necessarily follow that big baby=tear, small baby=no tear.

EeyoresGloomyPlace Tue 12-Mar-13 18:41:23

Dd1 was quick induced labour, 3 hours, 9lb 2oz, no tearing.

Dd2 even quicker water birth 2.5 hours, 9lb 8oz with 38cm head and again no tearing.

If you can get in the water it makes everything so much better, even though dd2 was much bigger my recovery took no time at all and I didn't get any of the horrible stingy pain when weeing.

Good luck smile

nannyl Thu 14-Mar-13 14:10:10

my friend had a 43 week 11lber and didnt tear

lucywiltshire Thu 14-Mar-13 21:30:18

It doesn't really hurt if you tear anyway TBH! You wouldn't feel it during the labour and they give you a local anaesthetic if you need stitches afterwards, and anyway you won't really care what they do after the event plus you'll have your baby in your arms so don't worry about tearing. I had tears of varying severity with each of my three (most recent only 20 days ago and I am hardly aware of the stitches and even doing my first poo wasn't an issue)

LynetteScavo Thu 14-Mar-13 21:35:25

I gave birth to a baby with a really big head, and only needed two stitches. (First baby)

Don't be upset by what the midwife said....they can be way off! Nature, most of the time, make a baby which will come out of the mother OK without intervention....would be stupid not to!

LadyGoneGaga Sat 16-Mar-13 10:40:56

Big babies are much stronger than little babies. You can easily tell that when holding newborns. The little ones are generally quite floppy for ages whilst the bigger ones can practically hold their heads up from birth. Because they are stronger they can help themselves be born much more. When I was giving birth to 9lb 8oz DD (second baby) I could feel her pushing against the top of my uterus with her legs. A very odd sensation but it helped (3.5 hour labour, 20 min second stage). I think I would have got away without a tear too but she was a bit too eager and had her elbow up by her head for good measure. Even so I couldn't feel it happening and healed well.

And big babies often feed more efficiently and sleep longer stretches in the early days. So there's lots to be said for them!

Floweryhat Sat 16-Mar-13 14:41:56

I'd love to see the research evidence to back up your post LadyGoneGaga. It's a nice idea, but doesn't ring true to me...

5madthings Sat 16-Mar-13 17:14:32

Ha ha at bigger babies sleeping longer stretches...

I think their size helps sometimes birthwise, not because of their strength but because of gravity!

Mine all held their heads up ftom birth regardless of their size.

TurkeyDino Sat 16-Mar-13 17:16:26

9lb13 and not a scratch on me! You'll be fine!

Numbthumbs Sat 16-Mar-13 20:58:36

DD 7lb 10oz and DS 9lb, no aftercare needed at all for either.
I kept active throughout and gave birth on all fours, maybe that helped.

Try not to think about it, baby has got to come out somehow grin

narmada Sat 16-Mar-13 21:10:59

My big 'un - only 9lb tho- was much easier than my 7lber. Tore with both but deffo did not feel it either time and altho the stitch-up was not my idea of fun after childbirth it wasn't so bad. Tears and episiotiomies generally heal amazingly quickly.

TreadOnTheCracks Sat 16-Mar-13 21:29:13

DS was 10 lb, had several late growth scans, his head circumference was off the chart.

Had to be induced at 40 +8 Easy birth though, 6 contractions and he was out. Little bit of tearing, I think because it was quick.

I agree with the poster above who says gravity helps with large babies.

TreadOnTheCracks Sat 16-Mar-13 21:30:18

Anecdotally I agree with ladygaga my big baby fed and slept like a dream.

mamaduckbone Sat 16-Mar-13 21:45:07

Ds2 was 11lb4, no tear, no intervention. Luckily I had a fab anti natal midwife who was completely convinced I could have the natural birth centre birth that I wanted, even though I was 11 days overdue and enormous. She didn't tell me quite how big she thought my baby was going to be for fear of putting me off, which it likely would have done. I'm so grateful to her-with a different midwife I'm sure I wouldn't have ended up having the positive experience that I did.

mamaduckbone Sat 16-Mar-13 21:49:00

I'd agree with the feeding and sleeping in the early days as well, although it didn't last. My ds slept for 6 hour stretches 10 til 4 at a week old and fed brilliantly-he was a dream!

Sheldonella Mon 18-Mar-13 18:20:54

Hi everyone.

Well I said I would come back and update. She was 9lb 1oz. Due to needing help with forceps I was cut and I tore. This may not have happened if my labour had progressed a bit more normally but no matter, I still have a healthy girl and all is well.

Thanks for all your words of wisdom, they were a huge help.

Flisspaps Mon 18-Mar-13 18:27:15

Congratulations.

A tear isn't the end of the world, if you do find it gives you issues later on then get yourself over to the ragged bits thread, but hopefully you'll recover just fine (I did) smile

seeker Mon 18-Mar-13 18:39:08

I had two big babies- 9.9 and 10.6. I did tear both times and had stitches, but it wasn't too bad, honestly. I recovered quickly and apart from the tears had easy labours and births. Happy to say more if you would like me to!

mimmymouse Mon 18-Mar-13 22:14:07

Many congratulations, Sheldonella!

Floweryhat Wed 20-Mar-13 14:57:03

Congratulations smile

TreadOnTheCracks Thu 21-Mar-13 14:09:16

Congratulations ! A lovely bouncing baby by the sound of it!

marthabear Sun 24-Mar-13 09:19:26

I feel cross at your midwife for putting this negativity into your mind. These throwaway comments can have a huge impact on a woman's confidence. Her assessment of baby's size is quite subjective anyway. Listening to your body rather than being told to push, and gentle pushes with the guidance of the midwife at the actual time of birth is possibly the best way to reduce the chances of perineal tears... no matter what the size of the baby.

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 24-Mar-13 09:35:51

I had second degree tears with both babies, 7'15 and 8'1 and honestly they healed fine. It obviously wasn't pleasant at the time but it was ok fairly quickly.

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 24-Mar-13 09:37:24

Also, a few drops of tea tree oil in the bath really help!

syl1985 Wed 27-Mar-13 19:10:29

All my children were big at birth.

first son: around 37-3800 gram
second son: around 4 kilo
third son: around 4.5 kilo

I never had any tear nothing.

I lived in Holland when I got my first 3 boys.
Healthcare there is so much worse then over here. Every year to much newborns die or are stillborn due to to late medical intervention.

Nothing went wrong with my first child.

The second:
He didn't made the turn and they needed to do something quickly as he was stuck in me and without oxygen.
By this he broke his arm.

My third they looked at his size and he was going to be even bigger. Still nothing was being done. I asked with 37 weeks if it was possible that they induce me. But there was no need for that. Everything was going to be fine.

With result my son came with 40 weeks and was even bigger. Didn't make the turn and they had great difficulty with getting him out.
He didn't brake any bones, but he had been to long without oxygen. He was unconscious for 2 minutes and then he had to go in an incubator.

The first 48 hours we didn't know how he was going to be or if he had any brain damage.
I was so furious on my gynecologist who know he was so big, but didn't do anything to stop this from happening. Nothing I was able to do about it as I soon discovered he followed the guidelines/rules.

Then I came to live over here in England. I asked my GP if it was safe for me to have another child in the future. He said that here in England they wouldn't take the risk. Here they will look at the size of the child and if he gets to big they're either going to induce me or I'll have an cesarean.

No country is perfect, but be so thankful that you live over here. Especially if you're a parent. Healthcare and schools are so much better over here then in Holland.

I really think Europe should tick Holland on the fingers for the rubbish healthcare and schools. How can they sit back and let to much baby's die every year and become disabled simply due to rules that must be changed.

Then childcare is horrible.
About one in 40 households do get into contact with childcare. They take the children away from the parents so easily.
Even a depression is enough reason for to take the children away from the parents. Only some will get their children back, but most parents loose the kids and are able to see them once every month for just an hour.

Are you depressed during your pregnancy then they can take the child away straight after birth. Some mothers never even have seen their own child because after the cesarean the child was taken away and that was it.

I'm very thankful that we're able to come and live over here.

AMR73 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:27:37

Have also heard that the midwives can't tell what size baby will be until it comes out.

I had second degree tear but I did't feel anything while baby was being born (waterbirth) and just a bit uncomfortable after. They say that water softens the tail end and helps it to stretch.

Marie Mongan book on Hypnobirthing def work a look.

lilmamma Sun 31-Mar-13 00:00:08

I was told my third was defently a 10lb er, bought 0-3 months clothes, and she was 8lb 5oz, with a wardrobe of baggy clothes :P

lilmamma Sun 31-Mar-13 00:00:29

oh and no stitches smile

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