Urgent advice needed - girlfriend in labour now!

(45 Posts)
shouldIbecrossaboutthis Wed 03-Oct-12 20:05:15

Hi everyone I'm posting and my girlfriends username. She went into labour at 7 o'clock this morning. We are having a homebirth and the midwife has been keeping regular checks on us. She is finding it most comfortable in the bath, either on these or lying down.
Contractions were five minutes apart but are now six minutes apart but seem to be lasting longer at one minute 30 seconds.
When she has a contraction she finds it best to squat up and down with the breathing.
She would like to know does anyone have any tips or advice to make it go faster?
Thanks in advance!

Dad to be, sat on the loo. grin

First baby? That can take a while.
Keeping active is the best thing I found. Can she bear to move about? If you live in a reasonably quiet are it might be worth her going for a short (very short) walk outside. Not if you're right on a main street with lots of people around though.

combinearvester Wed 03-Oct-12 20:12:52

Unless it helps her cope / distract from the pain I would stop timing the contractions, but I accept this is what people usually do!

Does she have a birthing /gym ball or anything she could bounce on? I bounced on the bed for one of mine! Might be an idea to get out of the water for a bit anyway and maybe pacing around holding on to you (like a weird dance) if no ball, can help things move downwards

Sounds like you're all doing really well anyway.

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Wed 03-Oct-12 20:12:58

Honestly, the best thing? Turn off all the lights, turn on a side light or light some candles if you are that way inclined. Hide the clock/phone.

If her contractions were close but are now slightly further apart, there is a risk she will start getting stressed, which can counteract all the hormones you want to encourage. Just zoning out for a bit could encourage things.

Then, in an hour or two (or whenever things seem to be really picking up), time how many contractions she has in 10 minutes. That is how MW's do it. Not timings between but 'two in ten' or whatever.

If she is in the bath, make sure she doesn't get cold.

combinearvester Wed 03-Oct-12 20:14:21

You'llLaugh your username is particularly apt for this OP grin

I forgot to ask what do you mean 'went into labour'? Have her waters already broken?

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Wed 03-Oct-12 20:15:53

Yes, I do sometimes feel awkward when I post on sensitive threads, and periodically change it grin.

By the way - if she refuses to move out of the bath and generally starts acting odd you may want to get the midwife back quick. Sometimes labours can progress very 'quietly' and she could be further on than you think. Don't tell her any of this though - she'll either kill you or be disappointed.

ImpYCelyn Wed 03-Oct-12 20:22:22

Stop timing. Hide the clock. Dim the lights/turn them off and use candles. Make things cosy, you need to feel safe and comfortable to give birth. Make sure she doesn't get chilly in the bath - heating on and top it up regularly.

Do you have stairs? Walking up and down them can help.

I took my birthing ball into the sitting room and bounced/swivelled on it whilst watching a silly, funny film.

Also, sit on the toilet, feed wide apart, and read some naughty stories grin helps with the hormones.

ImpYCelyn Wed 03-Oct-12 20:23:05

^feet, not feed. I saw it as I hit "post" <idiot>

shouldIbecrossaboutthis Wed 03-Oct-12 21:05:33

Thank you for all the advice! It is our first baby. She is doing well and standing up in the bath. Keeps doing little wees and contractions now 6 1/2 minutes apart.
Bouncy ball didn't work as she felt too low. Walking is an option but we don't want her to become too tired for the main event. Make sense??
Midwife calling back at 10pm.
Thanks for all the messages! X

shouldIbecrossaboutthis Wed 03-Oct-12 21:07:03

Oh! And waters still yet to break. Midwife did do a mini sweep this morning though.

nilbyname Wed 03-Oct-12 21:08:59

Keep active, walk up and down the stairs, go out into the garden for a change of scene. Sometimes a change can help move things along.

Take paracetamol. Eat honey for strength. My DH gave me teaspoons of it during labour.

pinkyp Wed 03-Oct-12 21:11:55

This helped me, I was In the bath and everytime I had a contraction I got my oh to poor water over my tummy whilst I breathed...I don't think it helped the pain but it distracted me...I gave birth mins later and I swear it's because I was relaxed

Badgerina Wed 03-Oct-12 21:12:24

Lots of kissing. Honestly! Dim the lights, and cuddle and kiss - it gets the oxytocin flowing grin

ninja Wed 03-Oct-12 21:16:46

get her to eat some dried fruit - it won't speed up labour but will help things along afterwards (iyswim) also good energy which she might need.

Distraction is good - watch some TV, do a quiz (I know it sounds mad but I went to the cinema at 15 mins apart) and watched test the nation at 5-10 mins apart and it takes your mind of it a bit.

OnlyWantsOne Wed 03-Oct-12 21:21:32

The only thing that got me to focus on any thing other than the pain was my boyfriend looking my square in the eye through each ad every contraction and telling me how amazing I am smile

Good luck smile

Turn the lights down and chill

Play some music and give her a snog!

ImpYCelyn Wed 03-Oct-12 21:28:16

This sounds mad, but could she try to have a little nap - lying on her side. I did that at 5/6 mins apart and 15 mins later they were 2/3 mins apart! Even if they don't speed up, it'll help her save energy or get some more for the final push!

good luck

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Wed 03-Oct-12 21:36:21

If she is standing in the bath, she might want to try getting out and having a little stomp about. Not walking miles to tire her, just a little wander. Going up and downstairs crab style can be good too.

Please do try and stop timing the contractions for a bit. It does sound like she could start to get stressed about it.

Jojoba1986 Wed 03-Oct-12 21:39:20

Being in the bath may well slow things down so it's not surprising that her contractions are getting further apart. If you want things to pick up try to encourage her out of the bath & keep her upright for a while!

Make sure she keeps drinking - juice if you've got it! It's cooling, refreshing & high in sugar for a little burst of energy!

Hope everything goes well for you! smile

UterusUterusGhali Wed 03-Oct-12 21:43:52

The little wees might be that her hind waters have broken. Not that that's a problem.

Put down the contraction app or whatever. Just go with the flow. Put some soothing music on.

SarryB Wed 03-Oct-12 21:45:18

How exciting!!!

No useful advice, but good luck smile

charlienash25 Thu 04-Oct-12 08:07:53

How have things progressed now?

Is LO here??

Shagmundfreud Thu 04-Oct-12 10:49:23

This thread is like a multi-headed cyber-doula.

Love it.

Hope OP is holding his baby by now. smile

shouldIbecrossaboutthis Sat 06-Oct-12 00:39:22

Everyone he was born at home, today at 4.40 weighing in at 9lbs! He's bloody amazing!!

Thank you all for the advice we tried nearly everything, get in the bath definitely slowed things right down for her, but it also turned out the baby was back to back and my waters are made of steel apparently. It took the midwife 10 mins to Pop them at 8cm.

Not off to find the section about how to care for 3rd degree tear (argh annoying!!) and how to breastfeed. Thanks again everyone!!

PollyIndia Sat 06-Oct-12 04:51:31

As, congratulations shouldibecrossabout this! Xx

WandaDoff Sat 06-Oct-12 05:00:32

Congratulations my love thanks.

Welcome to the world wee man xx

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Sat 06-Oct-12 07:50:07

Congratulations. Welcome to the world BabyShouldIBe.

Rindercella Sat 06-Oct-12 07:54:12

Oh, congratulations!! thanks

Ilovecake1 Sat 06-Oct-12 08:14:46

Congratulations, that's brilliant news. Does he have a name yet?

Portofino Sat 06-Oct-12 08:17:25

Congratulations!

SeveredEdMcDunnough Sat 06-Oct-12 08:20:43

'and my waters are made of steel apparently' ?!! Oh well. Are you sure you're her boyfriend? smile

Well done.

ninja Sat 06-Oct-12 09:24:42

Congratulations - I too had waters of Steel 1st time round and second time popped a couple of minutes before she was born!

You did really well to have a long and not the easiest labour at home.

recall Sat 06-Oct-12 09:26:24

onlywantsone that is so lovely !

Shakey1500 Sat 06-Oct-12 09:32:29

Many congratulations! Ref 3rd degree tear,it's vital that she RESTS, keeps the area as clean as possible and has it checked regularly in case it becomes infected. Apologies for aby mistakes posting from phone

shouldIbecrossaboutthis Sat 06-Oct-12 13:41:38

Hey guys, it's me now, the female version! I just got home from hospital - woohoo.

Thank you so much for all the advice, obviously it was my waters that were steel like, not his! My tear was barely a third degree, 4mm made it so, how annoying! Oh well, it was quite strange having a spinal to get stitched up after a nearly 48 hour labour; part of me felt like a mug for gritting it out at home. But in all honesty, on reflection ow I'm really happy with how things have turned out and at the end of the day we're all in one piece!

Just working on Breasfeeding now, I think we're doing ok (8 dirty nappies in 30 hours), just worried his latch might be a little shallow. Off to have a google now.

Thanks so much again everyone, your advice was amazing, especially those of you that said turn off the bloody app wink.

ImpYCelyn Sat 06-Oct-12 14:01:57

Congratulations! thanks

Glad you're back at home. Best thing for both the tear and breastfeeding would be to stay in bed for the next few days - and really stay in bed. Shove everything under the bed and bring a chair in if people come to visit. I didn't do it with DS1 but did with DS2 and it made such a difference.

vamosbebe Sat 06-Oct-12 14:07:29

Congratulations and welcome baby boy thanks

make sure all visitors arrive with food smile

BigBroomstickBIWI Sat 06-Oct-12 14:09:22

<wells up>

How lovely. Congratulations! thanks

Yes. Don't even think about getting out of your pjs until at least 2 weeks.

Conflugenglugen Sat 06-Oct-12 14:17:23

thanks thanks thanks

Xenia Sat 06-Oct-12 15:02:06

Well done. My first was very long and a bit of a tear. Good luck with it all.

shouldIbecrossaboutthis Sat 06-Oct-12 15:11:06

Oh and he does have a name! At serious risk of outing myself here, but hey-ho can name change I guess. He is Arthur William. I cried (and I never cry!) for about 10 minutes this morning and the pure wonderfulness of him blush

Awwww. Congratulations. Lovely name and lovely lovely lovely last post seem to have some late-season hayfever here, sniff

Ilovecake1 Mon 08-Oct-12 19:02:56

Awwww what a perfect name....just lovely!! Hope you doing ok.

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