Mumsnet Talk

I had no idea that some people had it that easy! I'm more likely to be like the shrieking one next time around

It was lovely to watch.

I know - it made me blub

I shed a tear Almost makes me want to have a water birth instead of another epidural.

She was great - and the filming was amazing too - the babies eyes were wide open under the water coming up to the top - it was amazing, very beautiful.

Water births are a lot easier. Mine were fab, easy, gentle births

and there was no poop in sight

I'm so jealous of that birth, my water birth was nothing like easy and gentle. Dreading the imminent birth of DC2

Funnily enough I cried at the big baby at the end when he got stuck.

Can you tell I had big 'uns? Reminded me a bit of my second birth. Lot so running in of staff and DH being pushed out of the way.

it was amazing she's was incredible! I'm having a water birth - hope it's as calm as that one!

It was absolutely incredible and so wonderful to see the mum cradling her baby in the water. I am really jealous. I was on the way to a water birth with my first, started pushing involuntarily in the water and then it all went a bit wrong and 3 hours later I was still pushing. A natural birth in the end (just) but on dry land it couldn't have been more different from the amazing serene experience seen here.

The big lady was amazing too. Not the one with the epidural (although I felt for her, poor thing) but the one who pushed out a huge baby with not a murmer. Respect of the highest order!

I thought she did have an epidural as she had a monitor and a drip attached?

Oh did she? That would make more sense as I was feeling extremely inadequate!

Epidural in pool... um no

Wasn't it fabulous? It was her absolute belief that she wasn't going to experience any pain, and that it was all going to be beautiful and natural that was so amazing, and I think that's partly why the birth was so serene and straightforward.

That's how a birth should be!

I love the fact that her DH was soooo into it all, blubbing like a baby.

Heather was incredible. I loved her attitude ('ignorance is bliss') but also the way her partner worked with her. The bit when they were listening to music (one headphone each) and were gazing into each other's eyes was utterly beautiful. What a lovely, lovely little family [happy tears galore].

amazing filming of the water birth such love between the parents,he was so supportive to her,and the girl who had epidural no wonder she was in such pain at the weight of the little boy but so well done in the end,same with the other lady and her first baby how brave was she and also a bigger than normal weight,well done to all of them very emotional.

IWantMyHatBack - I think BeeMyBaby meant the other woman I mentioned with the big baby?

I just hope the water birth lady won't be one of those who goes onto evangelise about how it's all in the mind and if you end up in pain with a long labour and interventions, well you're a bit pathetic with a low pain threshold. She's one of the lucky ones - hope she realises that.

She didn't seem like the evangelising type, just quietly confident in her own ability to deliver a baby naturally.

She was brilliant as was the third Mum, obviously you don't choose the birth you have but coped admirably. I did feel so sorry for the 2nd Mum, she was panicking, not something you can control. It's odd isn't it how some people just make it look so easy, physiology and positioning of the baby play a huge role, but pain thresholds and attitude count too.

There were some horrible comments on the obem thread though, people can be so nasty and bitter. I got stuck at 3cm with my first, she was badly positioned and possibly had an infection, 3 cs later, meh. I made more of a fuss/cried with panic at my elcs's than both of those ladies did pushing babies out of their fanjos .

yes gaelic I was talking about the third woman. IWantMyHatBack I'm fully aware you can't have an epidural in a birthing pool, try reading the whole thread next time.

well you're rude and ignorant aren't you CointreauVersial

People are snippy this morning!

Water births are not always like that! and they are not always easier births either.

I've had one dry land birth, and two water births; the first water birth was a nightmare in comparison to the dry land birth.

In fact I maintain that it is not natural to give birth in water. Clean, clear water at exactly the right temperature, does not occur in nature and is only possible because of complex plumbing and heating in the modern world.

NanBullen why are you calling CointreauVersial rude and ignorant? I see nothing in her posts that deserves that.

Come on people, chins up!

I really wanted a water birth with dd1 but the pool was broken and I ended up with emcs so not sure if they'd even let me try in the water for dc2.

I was very impressed with her husband, he was so supportive and said all the things I would have liked to hear when giving birth: not 'breathe breathe' (duh), but 'you're doing well', 'I'm so proud of you'. It's not often you see a guy on OBEM who feels comfortable with his role and is an actual support to the woman.

Yesterday's episode did make me think about giving birth lying down vs. sitting up and letting gravity help you. Not sure about water births, but the sitting up seems a good idea.

It was a beautiful birth, and I thought they were a very sweet couple (I really didn't like the tone of the OBEM thread, so didn't post on there). The first birth I ever saw - a friend's - was like that, slow and gentle.

I think it's really sad when women feel the need to belittle others' birth experiences. Yes, of course she was 'lucky' - but that doesn't mean she didn't contribute to her own luck. Because she didn't have too awful a time helped her stay calm and focused, and that calm and focus helped her have not too awful a time. I don't think we should assume her birth was easy, though - you could see in her eyes how much pain she was in. And I don't see how celebrating her lovely birth is any kind of disservice to those of us (me included) whose birth experiences were nothing like that.

I think all the women on last night's OBEM did fantastically, and really don't get the need for nasty comments about their looks, their partners, or how they handled their births.

Heather (water birth lady) was brilliant wasn't she. I have to admit when I saw her at the start of the show I had a totally negative opinion of her-thought she was daft not going to ante-natal classes, really believed she'd act like a total diva, but how wrong can you be!
Maybe it was luck or her positivity, or a bit of both, so what? She had a great birth experience, and I hope any other children she has can be delivered in the same way!

What ReneeVivien said.

The second mum was just scared out of her mind, as the midwife said the memories of other bad experiences come flooding in when a woman sees herself in a similar situation.
As a soon to be first time mum (35+2 ), it is always interesting to see how differently women cope with birth and try to imagine how it will be for me, pointless I know!

I had birth envy at the pool birth!

Poor old Kerry though.

She would have benefited from some hypnobirthing training. It was awful watching how frightened she was.

I don't think the third mum had an epidural.

She did have a drip in place. Maybe she was having antibiotics?

She was incredible. And her mum was adorable.

Oh dear. I've gone all gushy.

I thank all of the couples for allowing us to share such an intimate moment. The camera work is so skilled-beautiful shots of babies emerging yet the woman's privacy is maintained. Nobody really wants their genitals on TV.

I was shocked at the sheer nastiness of the posts on the other thread, made as it was happening. Some of them really seemed to hope it would all go wrong for Heather and her hub simply, it would seem, because they had a bit of 'colour' to them- they were fashiony, sunny and sweet and not boringly bland.
And some comments bordered on homophobia-talking of the hub being 'sooo gay' and not in am manner that suggested this would be a good thing.

Loved the look on Renae's Mother's face when she realised her grandchild was about to be born-thrilled and happy. Bless her.

For me it wasn't about being natural or not to give birth in water (you are right it probably isn't) it was about what sort of pain releif worked for me and what helped me to cop.

When I had dd I found the warm water of a bath really soothing, lying on my back on a monitor (no medical reason for it by the way) was agony, I tried gas and air and didn't like it I remember throwing the attachment thing at dh! However I couldn't stay in the bath as it wasn't big enough for me.

So the second time I hired a pool at home (pool hadn't been available in hospital so I felt it was the only way to guarantee) and it was great,

Yes - it was really beautiful this week.



You fall a little bit in love with all the parents. I do anyway!

I saw that, that is the birth I want, she looked so relaxed, unlike the other lady who was really in pain and was not relaxed at all. I am 39 weeks pg btw, and would like a waterbirth so hopefully will have one.

If you read The Waterbirth Book by Janet Balaskas she looks at the history of birthing in water. In some areas of the world where the sea and rivers/lakes are warmer, women have been birthing in water forever. It's not been done here much in the past as all of our naturally occuring water is too cold, as is the climate. So in some cultures it is entirely natural to give birth in water. I'd really recommend the book, it's really informative and interesting, even if you are not planning a water birth (but it certainly confirmed my desire to try for one though).

Blimey, Nanbullen, I haven't a clue what I said that could be interpreted as "rude and ignorant"......

Me neither Cointreau, very strange

I don't think she "had it easy" she was fortunate to have no complications, but her relaxed, positive appeoach and excellent support (mw and dh) contributed towards a calm, gentle birth. She was working like stink though, keeping her focus. She was in pain, but she was internalising it, and that's an ok response if you can stay relaxed. Not everyone responds by screaming, and there is no shame in taking either path, you just follow what feels right.

I loved last nights episode

The obem thread last was vile so I didn't post on it either. Every couple were slagged off and the poor blonde midwife took a real pasting for absokuy no reason.

Heathers birth made me sob! That's what my births were supposed to be like

Heather was AMAZING. Inspirational. It was so emotional to watch. I have to admit when her and her husband walked in, her in labour tottering in wearing high heels, and him talking about having the perfect life, i was a wee bit judgmental. But by the end i had such a huge amount of respect for both of them and laughed affectionately when she got her straighteners out and he earnestly told us all that his lovely little daughter had 3 months of outfits ready and waiting. Lesson to self - do not judge a book by it's cover.

Also respect to the bigger lady. And her lovely partner who looked so overwhelmed when bubba was born.

The brown haired midwife was soooooo lovely too. So calm, reassuring and respectful.

Felt soooooo sorry for Kerry. She was so terrified but did a fantastic job.

Have not read the other OEBM thread but i have told my partner if i get a midwife like the blond one, to chuck her out of the room!!!!!

I've decided i'm having a birth just like heather (tho not in the water it's to late in the day for that). I'm just going to go in and be calm and the baby will just come out and it will be perfect. Seriously not sarky btw if she can do it so can i.

I'm sure a well done to all featured is in order - they all gave birth and had a baby, after all.

I don't know one can say say any woman would definitely benefit from hypnobirthing. By all means, give it a go, why not, but there are no guarantees it (or any preparation) will work.

I used meditation techniques, visualisation and yoga breath during my ELCS and it was a huge help! but I had been doing yoga and
meditation for years. A friend who did ante-natal yoga with me found it was no help at all during her long instrumental vb and said she'd rather have spent the money on new curtains. Horses for course.

I thought that water birth woman did brilliantly, and her first baby! It was just wonderful to watch.

For my second birth, I somehow envisaged a calm easy labour and birth and had one. I was completely quiet and focused and it was just amazing. My first one had been overwhelming and pretty awful tbh.

That hysterical woman - it was so hard to watch. She wasted so much energy, if only someone could have helped her calm down. I think she went in stressed and terrified - poor thing.

Just saw the weights posted on the OBEM facebook page:
"Kerry & Paul's baby Jamie - 10lbs 6oz, Heather & Danny's baby Eivissa 7lbs 7oz, Renae and Jonathan's baby, Darcy Grace 9lbs 12oz. Largest nipper so far was Beth and Kurt's baby, Kyan from ep1 at 10lbs 10oz. Rest assured, names and weights will be shown on future episodes! "

She stayed calm, thats the key to a low pain labour, once you get all tense and panic it makes the pain many times worse. Which is why the woman who was screaming was in so much pain, she was scared before she even got to the hospital.

My 3rd was horrendous and I was screeching, I panicked when my planned homebirth went down the pan, as soon as they said the ambulance was on the way that was it, I panicked and the pain hit the roof. My last one, I was calmer than that pool girl and it was so easy. My 2nd was also easy, I stayed calm during that one too.

To be fair to Kerry, looking at the weights, (admittedly she was very frightened), but I think it would be very difficult to have a similar waterbirth to Heather no matter how calm you are with a baby almost 3lbs heavier.

kiki22 why is it too late in the day for you to have a waterbirth?

belgo if its unnatural to birth in water because nature doesn't provide clear, clean, warm water then surely it follows that it is also unnatural to birth on a bed, birthing stool or in a MLU or CLU as nature provides none of those things either

I felt really sad for Kerry, she should have had trauma counselling after her first birth, and not had to bring all that fear into the delivery room to relive it.
I wish it were made clearer to mothers who have had traumatic deliveries that they are able to get counselling through their GPs.

Kerry's first born was dx'd with Cystic Fibrosis after birth and at the time of the labour we saw, she wouldn't have known if her new baby would have CF or not as both her and her husband are carriers (this is on OBEM website). So that may really have added to the whole panic, I guess? We never know people's real stories on these shows, many may have had experiences in their lives that they aren't willing to share with the world that affect their ability to cope in these situations. Appearances and snapshots don't really give a lot of info when it comes to something as huge as birth. No need to judge anyone.

I agree that once you panic it's so much harder. I was prepared for a calm home birth, had done some hypnobirthing etc, but was going to have entonox available. Was transferred, ignored and denied any pain relief until I was 8cm and absolutely desperate. If I could have had g&a when I wanted it, about 4cm, OR had a supportive mw with me I would have coped fine I think. The hypnobirthing was definitely good though, I held it together much longer than I could've without it.

Heather's birth did look wonderful but wasn't in real time so we don't know how long her labour lasted or if she had been given pethidine/diamorphine.

All my births were quiet and calm (G&A with all three as well as pethidine with 2) because I was completely focused - and very, very lucky. Anyone witnessing my births would have thought they were extremely 'easy' but to me the pain was unbelievably horrendous.

Zuzu, this is true, but a gentle birth like that isn't freakishly unusual, except on OBEM

You can't have a water birth if you have pethidine (it's not safe) so she definitely didn't have that. I think she was just extremely calm and focused - and was helped along by a relatively easy labour.

beemybaby actually i had ds4 in the pool and was calm and he was 10lb 13oz! so it can be done, i did moo a lot mind you

i had baby no 1 in the pool and i'm refusing to open my legs for no2 unless the pools available, that is my only worry about labour no 2 .

alot of people on FB were bitchy about heather but i thought they were lovely, she done so well. There was one point when i thought her partner looked at her like he just wanted her right then over the bathtub lol that unerved me abit, did anyone else see it? He kind of bit his lip and grimced at her and looked lusty. He really thought she was wonderful. I hope they continue to live their perfect life.

I didn't know that about pethidine Bue (birthing pools weren't available in the olden days when I had my babies). She didn't seem to have G&A either. Wow.

Rhi, some hospitals will allow you to set up your own birth pool in a normal delivery room. It might be worth finding out if yours is ok with this and perhaps you can borrow one from somewhere just in case. Don't forget a hose to run from the bathroom

rhi at our hospital there is only one room with a birthing pool BUT the hospital have recently purchased some of the inflatable birthing pools and will set one of those up for you if the actual room with the pool isnt available, it might be worth asking your hospital if they have any of these? or as future said take your own with you as some hospitals will let you do that or have a home birth!

beemybaby

The weight difference between my smallest and biggest was 4lb, babys size doesn't affect how painful the contractions are although babys position does. Also I found pushing my bigger ones out alot easier than my tiny ds, little ones slip back a bit after every push so you push for longer. My smallest was 4lb 15oz, my biggest was 8lb 15.5oz. My second baby although not my heaviest was by far the biggest in actual size, she was huge and straight into 0-3 clothes, she was a should dystocia but this was caused by her position not her size and her birth was one of my easiest pain wise.

Rikalaily As you have mentioned position twice in your post, can we therefore assume that it would have been virtually impossible for Kerry to have a birth as Heather did due to the baby's position, causing increased pain throughout the labour?

Don't really know where I'm going with this argument, maybe just trying to say its not completely a case of mind over matter when labouring.

it was def the positioning and the size that contributed to kerry having a hard time, plus i think the would have benefited enormously from a debrief of her previous labour before birthing again, that would hopefully have helped her overcome her fear andf emopower her a bit so she could maybe have stayed calmer 2nd time around, still dont think there is anything wrong in being noisy either, some people internalise the pain, others vocalise it, neither is right or wrong

but like i said earlier i had a 10lb 13oz baby calmly in a birthing pool, but with 'mooing' noises, i 'mooed' in all 5 of my labours tho, so that wasnt his size, and i agree that bigger babies are easier to push out, he basically birthed himself with no active pushing from me, i found no 5, dd who was only 8lb much harder to deliver, she was also back to back so came out wrong way round which didnt help!

The position could have caused increased pain but the fact that she was scared before she even got into active labour probably made the biggest difference. I've had 3 back to back babies, one of which was my shoulder dystocia and that birth was great (despite the SD), I stayed calm and that lowers the pain level ALOT, my two very painful births were the two where I was scared, tense and I 100% believe that is what made the pain unbearable, the two births I stayed calm with were fine, the pain never got unbearable and I didn't make a sound.

Postition can cause increased pain but out of my three back to back births and the one which wasn't back to back, the increase in pain was back pain and it wasn't the back pain that made my two awful births unbearable it was the contraction pain at the front. During my good births, yes the pain was bad but it was never out of my control to deal with it, thats the difference. When you get out of control with pain it is all you can think about so you focus only on the pain which makes it feel worse. If you distance yourself from the pain it is much more bearable, the same way g&a works I suppose, it doesn't dull the pain, just dulls your awareness of it.

The only things thats ever affected my pain levels in labour (apart from an epi) was my state of mind, it makes the difference between a good birth experience and a bad one. Midwives are shocked that I class my SD birth as one of my easiest, but until I had my last baby it was my best birth because I stayed calm which made the whole process easier.

just watched the waterbirth on 4OD - the waterbirth lady is amazing - how calm was she??? I've just cried buckets - I had lovely waterbirths with DS3 and 4. DS3 was almost 8lb and pushing easier than DS4 who was 6 & a half - he came out in one big push whilst DS4 was the head and then I had to do another big one for the shoulders. Just as painful 4th time round but position really is the key. Also feeling a bit sad as DS1 was EMCS (back to back - hideous long labour) and I never got that special moment with him just as he was born .

thanks ladies never thought of that, doh!!

If you want lovely calm births, watch the ones on www.mybirth.tv/video-diary-display.cfm rather than the stranded beetle coached pushing ones on OBEM.