I had a ventouse delivery and episiotomy with my first baby, I could not move without wincing for weeks.

I had 2 elective cs subsequently and had NO pain, and I was up and walking about the next morning.

If I have another baby I would not even consider anything other than a cs.

I had a 10lb baby last time, and 3rd degree tear due to size. no episiotomy. no incontinence (know people with worse problems from lesser tears - but then not realised that coudl afect me post-menopause).
Been offered el-cs this time, not sure what to do. been told not really any more likely to have 3rd degree or worse than if not had it last time.
going to wait and see how big it is looking at scans. mind you last time the scans showed a very big head - off the chart - but dismissed by consultant as error! (head awas 38cm at birth) and midwives at delivery did not seem to take much notice of scans or think he was that big based on feeling him.
anyway - after reading a few posts on here finding it hard to find real downsides for el-cs???

When are you due Mudmaid? Let me know what happens on Monday. I'm seeing a consultant on Monday too!

I had a third degree tear 3 years ago and still have problems. Am expecting again too and cannot bear the thought of going through that again. Took a good year to get over.

Anyway what I have recently discovered is that the Royal College of Obst. and Gyn has produced recommendations for treating women who have 3rd or 4th degree tears. One of them is 'Offering a caesarean delivery for future pregnancies as a recommendation - an offer not an order'.

I am seeing my consultant Monday to discuss. Since the start of my pregancy I have said that I wanted an elective CS, but everyone has ignored me. I have had to demand this appointment with the consultant.

Good luck and hope you get what you want.

More reassurance, thanks, CoteDAzur . If you were candidate for an elective c/s. They'll def tell me that I need one. I even started thinking about childcare, as I'll be in hospital for a little longer, right?

Have an elCS! Seriously, pain is very manageable, and recovery is quite unbelievably quick, especially re all you read on MN referring to "major surgery".

I had one of those mediolateral episiotomies, and it was honestly the worst pain I ever suffered, which lasted for weeks.

I had an elCS last month because consultant said I had 50% chance of needing another episiotomy (big baby and previous epi scar), and I was fine on Day 3. Pain was very manageable throughout.

Try not to worry. It will be a quick and calm birth, and you will wonder what all the fear mongering is about

Ohh thanks! After reading "colostomy bag" a few times, it is becoming easier to make up my mind! I think I now want only the green light form the consultant, for extra reassurance.
Yesterday I saw a great midwife, she was very understanding and didn't dismissed my worries like the last one. I start to feel that I might be in good hands
All the best for the delivery, Gillyan.

And..I'm having my section on Monday 29th June so I'll let you know how it goes.

Helloooo. Welcome to my world!!! I have been deliberating the same as you for ther last 9 months!!! have a search on my name and you will probably find lots of helpful comments off people.

I am 37 +1 and have finally decided on the c/s.

I had a 3rd degree tear last time 3 nhalf yrs ago. Like you I remember thinking never again and was told at my post natal check up I would be allowed an elective c/s next time.

When I got PG this time though I really couldn't decided what to do as for me it seemed hard to turn my back on it all and opt for the c/s.

My tear is un-explained. I had a 7.5 baby, no weird presentation, no insturments, no fast labour etc...they think it just the way my body is that I tore.

I have taken SO much advice from people and as I had no incontinece problems they do suggest a vaginal delivery but consultant aslo said it was down to me and he was more than happy for me to have a elec c/s. I have had so much conflicting advice form different docs and MWs.

Some said they would recommend I have and elective medio - lateral episiotomy to prevent any tearing goingnear my bum while the consultant totally disagreed with this. He recommended maybe a water birth then MW said she though water can make your tissues more likey to tear!???

I went into early labour at 34wks and so have spent the last few weeks in and out of the ante-natal ward..it was good as got to speak to lots of different docs and MWs. I actually saw the MW who delivered DD and she said she just would never of thought I would of torn.

To cut a long story short i finally had a few MWs tell me straight they thought I was mad to attempt a vaginal delivery in light of my circumstances - ie the no massive baby factor or fast delivery etc. They all said it sounds like I just have 'friable' tissue and am destined to tear. I think they have to be quite inpartial with their advice but they got to know me and then said what they felt.

At my 36 wk check they found baby was bloody breech anyway!!!! She turned again though but I am still having the c/s.

My tear was described as half a cm away from leaving me with a colostomy bag and there doesn't seem like there is anything I could try to do differently this time so I am happy with my decision. I may have to a have general as it took 9 times to site the spinal last time for the repair job, I also know of someone who's babies head was cut but baby was fine.

I eneded up thinking that it would not be the end of the world to have a general but it would be the end of my world to have a colostomy bag.

Hope you come to a decision, best of luck xx

Never had a natural birth, so no tearing, but I have had 1 emergency CS and 2 elective CS. Given the choice I would go for the elective CS every time. So much more relaxed!