Is it usual for midwives to respond so negatively to a doula?
|
(61 Posts)
|
Told my midwife yesterday that I'd hired a doula for a planned hospital birth (midwife led unit, although I've since heard it's just a 'low risk room'

. Midwife was extremely hostile when I told her, basically ridiculing me and making me feel like a silly little girl. Was very upset at the time, though held my ground, but am thinking now is this how many midwives view doulas? Was I naive in thinking they would welcome the fact that I felt supported? They've never had one at my hospital before apparently, so am wondering what to expect by way of a 'welcome' when she gets there for the birth!
My doula worked 'behind the scenes' too and ensured that I got the best bed and best room to 'retire' in by going out and 'lobbying' the mws on my behalf. She also made sure I had food when the mws were too busy.
Also, given that my doula had helped me be sooo relaxed the mw didn't even spot that I was in transition, there was no time to get a second mw. She said afterwards that my doula was looking after me so well she could manage the baby alone

Anyway, - it was all lovely.
I think it is too simplistic to say that if a midwife is doing her job, she shouldn't feel threatened by a doula. At the end of the day, if anything goes wrong it is the midwife's job on the line, not the doctor or the doula, and many units are so poorly staffed that the potential for mismanagement is always there. Midwives are constrained by hospital protocols and policies whether they like it or not, and it can make the job a bit tricky at times tbh. I have only worked with two doulas, one of whom has a great reputation and one who was downright dangerous in my opinion. My only advice would be to hire someone you really trusted, because they may be as ill-informed, tired and just plain wrong as the worst midwife! Good luck though as I think they can be a great asset if you are on a busy labour ward, and the benefits of one to one support are well documented.
I was pleasantly surprised at how enthusiastic my community midwife was when I said we were thinking about hiring a doula (this was after a loooonng discussion about the local hospital's wicked understaffing during ds's birth). She said 'I think that's a WONDERFUL idea, just MARVELLOUS for you.' So, erm, some midwives are definitely pro-doulas...
That would make sense at 10cm I suppose!
I may take my Isabella Oliver tankini in

, just to get some wear out of it!
As I hadnt planned to go in the pool, didnt have anything to wear so went in starkers - though I really couldnt have cared at that point because I was so in labour... and the midwives didnt blink an eyelid, neither did doula or my DH (and believe me, I'm pretty modest normally). I know people who have taken bikini tops or tankini tops to go in the pool though - probably more effective at preserving your modesty.
That sounds good! I'm the same about swimming too

. A stupid question now..what do you wear in the birth pool?

To be honest Diege I'm abit like that too - the worst thing about going swimming is the getting out feeling cold and rubbish... but I didnt feel like that at all when I got out the pool as you're immediately wrapped up into towels in a lovely warm room anyway. Definitely worth a go - though my top tip is take bottle water with straws as I found being in the warm water made me really v thirsty.
Thanks DINKY! I've never been that into water - the whole feeling cold when you get out thing puts me off, but as the doula says I can always get out and stay out if I don't like it!
Diege - I'd never thought of a water birth or water as pain relief before having DS2 either. Though when I got in the birth centre room and saw a pool in there I was absolutely insistent I had to get in there NOW and stayed in there to give birth - I was already 10 cm when I got in (really quick labour) but the relief was immense as soon as I got in; it made me feel really grounded and in control through the transition stage and it was a lovely gentle birth for DS2 in the water, so I'd definitely recommend giving it a go. I remember thinking when I got in that it didnt take the contraction pain away at all and feeling cheated - though in hindsight it gave me the confidence and energy burst I needed to deal with them if you see what I mean.
Thanks DINKY, that's useful. Generally I'm quite sensitive to any 'clashes' between people I'm with, but this is one occasion where they'll just have to sort it out between themselves! Def feel much better about seeing my midwife anyway, with lots of info' etc in case she 'starts' again

MARS, good to know doula won't disown me if I feel the need for an epidural after all

She has made me consider water pool though, something I'd never really seriously considered before. Does it really help with pain relief??
