Mumsnet Talk

I had a horrific birth with DD(3) that ended with a huge episiotomy. The following three weeks were relentless torture, and I still have the occasional horrible flashback from that period.

Anyway. Now I am 19 weeks pregnant and quietly panicking about the birth. I have a different doctor, who remembers the pain I went through with DD's birth and says he will be there at this birth and make sure this birth goes differently, but I am worried because:
- here in France, there is no pain relief other than epidural
- that epidural is not mobile and means there is only one way to give birth - on your back, with feet in stirrups

Everything I have read since DD's birth says that giving birth on all fours or at least an upright position facilitates the birth and minimises risk of a tear/episiotomy.

So now I find myself thinking whether I should refuse epidural, which will mean having no pain relief whatsoever.

Am I crazy to even consider this?

Is it a good idea?

Well, I only had a tens machine for both of my births. And ds was 9lb 13oz.

Gas and air made me vomit and I didn't want any drugs anyway, so that was that really.

Could you have a water birth in France?

Or a home birth?

In france you have a choice between an epidural and NOTHING?

Really?

Am utterly by that, that is appalling.

i had 2 completely drug free births and honestly found the only part where it got a bit overwhelming pain wise was transition, at which point you're so close you just get on with it.

dd was 7lbs4oz, had the cord around her shoulder and the mw manually stretched my cervix from 8cm to 10cm as her heart had practically stopped beating and they needed me to start pushing immediatly. she was born with an arm over her face and i only had labial grazing

ds was 8lbs10oz and was born wrong way round with his arm over his face as well and i had even less serious grazes than with dd.

both were 18 hour labours and i swear on my life, the only point at which i thought 'oh shit wtf am i doing?!' was from about an half an hour before they were born until i was pushing... at which point i couldn't have cared less as i was abe to actively do something to get them out!

it is doable, and enjoyable. do learn some breathing techniques first and practice zoning out/self hypnosis/meditation to help you through it.

Can you get reflexology there - ideally from a pregnancy trained reflexologist? Had bad birth with dc1 (epidural and v long) and then had reflexology for dc2 and dc3 (from about 18/20 wks) - both easy water births with no drugs needed (would have taken if had needed to).

Not at all crazy, there are other options other than medical pain relief, breathing, massage, water (if that is available) TENS, hypobirthing.

Your reading is right and the more upright your pelvis is means a hopefully easier journey through the birth canal for you and your baby, positions where you are leaning onto something would be good for that (i.e leaning on the side of the bed)

I have always used gas and air so no personal experince but might be worth reading one of the books by Ina May Gaskin

i had 2 ut of 3 drug free - ds2 had nothing- nt even gas andair and ds3 i had gas and air

waaay preferred it thsn ds1's birth

No water birth and no drug other than paralysis-inducing epidural in our corner of France.

I can't say if that is the case for the entire country.

Do you have to have this baby in hospital?

Where do I find/learn about breathing techniques, zoning out, etc?

can you hire a private midwife in france and do it at home?

go for it, Cote - I had both mine with no pain relief, I honestly think it is perfectly cope-able with so long as you can be upright/move around as you wish

I am still panicking about this next birth though, but for different reasons than pain - more worried about 2nd stage

GOOD LUCK

oh, and I don't know if it's related but I never had even a small tear with either (despite ds being rather large and his shoulders getting stuck)

God, am probbaly REALLY tempting fate by posting that have never torn!!

I had two drug free home births but both in our own bath. I found water a very good menthod of pain relief. With Ds I had acupuncture to induce labour and she also set needles for pain relief and relexation and TBH is was a straight forward near pain free labour (8lbs8oz) with a littel grazing.

dd however was born without the use of acupuncture and was agony. (neighbour heard me screaming 3 houses down- luckily it was during the day when kids were at school and most people working!). Had no grazing whatsoever and she was 9lbs3oz!

Both labours were 8 hours and 30 minutes and both were on my back (normal bath tub) with legs on sides of the bath

no, you aren't crazy at all. i had the works for ds1, gas and air, pethidine and epidural.

i chose to have a homebirth second time round which meant only gas and air. i was a leeeeetle bit worried about this, but in the end I didn't even use it!
ds2 was 9lb 5 and back to back so I was v proud of myself lol

i feel very strongly now that the setting you are in, how relaxed you are, and how easily you are able to move around etc contributes far more to your levels of pain than anything else.
there were certain positions that I found unbearable (lying down was one of them) and I made myself comfortable kneeling over the sofa in the end.

I guess I could push for a home birth, but I am not brave enough. If something goes wrong, I would like to be able to have a crash section. Or an emergency neonatal unit if baby has a problem.

just to add:
I had a thread going on another site about positive thinking and childbirth and with lots of good info and advice from them came up with the following list to help me through labour

1.) Remember the pain WILL end. There will be breaks, and it isn't forever. (and there's a fab prize at the end)

2.) Relax. Make a conscious effort to stay calm and focussed and not get too tense.

3.) Keep active.

4.) Accept the pain. Be in control of what is happening and work through it.

5.) If 4.) isn't working then try distraction.

6.) Vocalise. low ooohing noises instead of shouty screaming.

7.) Don't think about drugs or things taking the pain away.

8.)Remember to breathe!

cote is it possible to get other forms of pain relief from a GP and have a midwife administer them?

over here if you have a homebirth you can get pethidine on prescription from your GP and the midwives can administer it

I am thinking of staying at home for first stage and stay in bath for a few hours at least, but how to know when to get to the hospital? I'd rather not have to deliver on the bathroom floor, with panic-stricken DH at my heels.

mmmm, remember 2nd births are usually a lot quicker - wth ds I literally had a huge contraction as I got off sofa to go to bed and had him 3.5 hours later

how far are you from the hospital?

I will ask about possibility of getting alternative pain relief from GP, to be administered by midwives. My next monthly check-up with the obstetrician is in a few days. (Here we are followed by our doctor, rather than a midwife)

How is pethidine administered? By occasional shots or through an IV drip?

We are quite near the hospital, but my due date is right in the middle of a very busy (touristic) two weeks here, and typically in that period all roads are clogged and it would take about 20-30 mins to get to the hospital.

I had no pain relief at all for dd2.

I spent much of my labour on a birthing ball, and then standing up.

I gave birth kneelign at the foot of the bed.

Yes it hurt a lot but i had a fabulous mw (whom I had never met before) and knew it couldn't last forever.

I had a slight tear but fine otherwise. (except b/p but that's another story!!)