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Mumsnet Discussions: Childbirth : What to do with ds when in labour (24 messages)
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Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Mon 24-Nov-08 18:50:50
Just wondered what everyone does with existing dc's when they go into labour and have to go to the hospital.
Ds will be 18m and I'm really paranoid about going into labour at 3am when dp is at work and I'm all alone sad.
So, if it's the middle of the night, is it ok to take ds to hospital with me or is that a big no no?
If it's day time, I imagine there will be some warning and enough time for family to do the 45-60min train journey to get here?
I've heard that second time round it can go really quick.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Mon 24-Nov-08 19:06:08
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Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By TheButterflyEffect on Mon 24-Nov-08 19:12:03
i had homebirths or my second and third children.
but i did ask what I could do with dd if I had to go in, and they said I could bring her if absoutely necessary.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Mon 24-Nov-08 19:19:16
I'm 29wks now but not brave enough for a home birth either. I am expecting to have a big baby so want to be at hospital, but home birth is the perfect solution isn't it. Wish I'd thought this through a bit better in the early days.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By dinkystinky on Mon 24-Nov-08 19:29:59
Hey Littleboyblue - this was the worry keeping me awake a couple of weeks ago. The plan is for us to get our nanny to come look after DS - however she's on holiday between 31 Jan and 14 Feb (so will be keeping my legs crossed for that period)... so the back up plan is (i) get my sister (lives other side of London) to come over to look after DS if middle of night issue (rest of family live at least a couple of hours away by train) or (ii) if really urgent, get our next door neighbours (only moved to area in Feb but they are v nice and their son is 6 months older than DS) to keep an eye on DS until a grandparent can arrive. The final option (if all else fails) is to either leave DH here with DS - dont really want to take DS to hospital with me in labour as dont want to be worrying about DS while dealing with contractions (have sorted out a doula to deal with the eventuality need to leave DH at home to look at DS). Do you have any good friends in the area you could call to help out look after DS until your family can get there? Or maybe get in touch with Surestart in the area to find a local childminder who might be able to come look after your DS while you're in labour if need be?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By pointydog on Mon 24-Nov-08 19:34:44
you couldn't take your ds with you. How long would it take for your dp to get back from work?

You need to try and have a plan B at the ready. Ask a neighbour or a mum you know through your ds. Most people would be heppy to help out in a one-off situation like this, even if it is the middle of the night.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By TheButterflyEffect on Mon 24-Nov-08 19:39:41
or for

If you are worried about shoulder dystocia you can use upright positions and also flip around to wiggle the baby out.

the risk of that is much less when you are not lying in stirrups.

I wasn't saying you should have a home-birth ( although you can change your plans with your midwife at any time and they don't really sort anything out until 36 wks) .
i just wanted to respond while cautioning you that I don't have direct experience.

dinkystinky's ideas are great though.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Mon 24-Nov-08 20:19:01
Butterfly I know you wasn't suggesting I should have a home birth .
But it would be perfect wouldn't it?

Dinky Thanx for that.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By funnypeculiar on Mon 24-Nov-08 20:42:14
I agree that this is one of those situations where you can ask for favours which you wouldn't normally ask. Think about it - if someone on your street/toddler group etc, who you didn't know well suddenly asked if you'd mind being an emergancy back-up if they went into labour at a difficult tiume, you'd say yes like a shot, wouldn't you?
In fact, two of my now best mates have become good mates because they asked me to be emergancy childcare for their second births smile As it ended up, I wasn't needed either time.

My family are all over an hour away, so I had a good friend from uni who lived 10 mins away on standby (although I also planned a home birth) I ended up having to go into hospital at 6.30 am, so he came haring over and sat with ds for a while until my mum got to our house. he got to go into work late and get a whole load of kudos. Everyone was happy smile
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Mon 24-Nov-08 20:47:19
I'd definately say yes, without a doubt. Think I'll talk to my neighbour in the week about it, but she'll be only a few weeks away from labour herself so not sure if it's a good idea to disturb her.
Will def speak to surestart too.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By ThePregnantHedgeWitch on Tue 25-Nov-08 10:58:28
My DH will be working nights when this one is Due.. i DID go into labour at 3am with DS.

I'm hoping to stay at my parents with DS in the week while he's at work in the couple of week pre-duedate.

If anything happens, DS will stay with my Dad and DH will be called home to pick me and mom up.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Tue 25-Nov-08 14:28:21
That sounds like a good idea......
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By fledtoscotland on Tue 25-Nov-08 20:26:29
we were worried about this when i had ds2 (ds1 was only 11months old) as our nearest relatives are 500 miles away and my bf would would take ds1 works about 10miles away. i phone the hospital and they said just to bring DS1 in with us and wait until my friend collected him. he would be looked after.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By mummy2t on Tue 25-Nov-08 20:31:22
this worried me thro my whole pregnancy! when the time came i put him to bed between contractions at 7.30pm, my mum came round at 8pm as we left for hospital. we arrived at 8.30pm, bubba was born at 8.53pm and we set off back home at about 11.45 pm. ds1 didnt even know i had been anywhere! all worked out good in the end. have afew plans mapped out so you feel confident about it. good luck xxx
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Tue 25-Nov-08 20:37:36
Wow mummy2t, that sounds great, I want a labour and delivery like that.
Won't get it though, I might be worrying for nothing, knowing my luck it'll take about a week!
fledtoscotland I imagine it happens quite alot really.

Thanx everyone for all advice, much appreciated
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By mummy2t on Tue 25-Nov-08 20:42:24
think positive littleboy, at doesnt always end up you been in hospital for days on end. i made it very clear from getting to the hospital that if everything was ok i wanted to get straight home. my mw had made it clear in my notes too. i was very lucky it happened the way i had hoped. keep your fingers crossed but have afew back up plans. where do u live?? i will pop round and see to LO. lol xxxx
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Tue 25-Nov-08 20:46:23
Hehehe. I only stayed 1 night after ds was born. I'd had the pains for about 3 days, given up and gone in friday evening, ds was born 11:30am sat and 8am sunday, I was up, dressed and demanding to be discharged before I picked up my baby and left! (hate my hospital, and we're back there this time too
We live in Staines, so if you're local
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By funnypeculiar on Tue 25-Nov-08 21:04:22
Oh, littleboyblue, are you going to St Peters by any chance?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Tue 25-Nov-08 21:05:46
Yes I am! How did you guess? We were living in Woking when I had ds. I hate St Peter's.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By funnypeculiar on Tue 25-Nov-08 21:34:55
I'm down the road in Walton/Hersham - had dd at St Peters smile - it's reputation preceeds it (although I had a great birth experience to be fair)
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By funnypeculiar on Tue 25-Nov-08 22:49:27
In fact, I'll have ds for you if you get stuck (but only if i get to have free new baby cuddles grin)
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Wed 26-Nov-08 08:25:50
Hahaha.
Whe I called them to say I was going in, they told me not to unless I really had to coz they were busy, like I'd go to the hospital just for the fun of it.
Once I got there, they left me in the corridor for over 3 hours.
Whenever I asked for pain relief, they gave me 2 paracetamol and told me to run a bath, I couldn't sit down nevermind get in a bath! After ds was born we were completely ignored, he wasn't even weighed again after that initial time and we were thrown off the ward coz he wouldn'rt stop crying. I sat in the family visitors room all night.
Can't believe I'm going back there.

Hey, don't joke, I'll be on here in about 11 weeks saying funny, get your arse over here now. It'll be 2am.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By funnypeculiar on Wed 26-Nov-08 10:37:06
OMG, how hideous!
Hope you have an easier time next time. Will you be going for a 6hour discharge this time - have to say, I wouldn't spend a night in the post natal dump ward unless I had to.... (dd cried all the first night too - I spent a lot of time in the family/bf room too!)

Seriously, if you get stuck, I'm happy to help out smile
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By littleboyblue on Wed 26-Nov-08 10:38:56
Thanx funnypeculiar.


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