What to do if you get a less than nice midwife? - esp elcs

[flowersingrange]

I'm booked in for a second elcs a fortnight on Monday.
The trouble is that I had the misfortune to have a really brusque, unfeeling midwife who did the final preps before I was taken to theatre. E.g she didn't have a good bedside manner and spoke quite sharply to me. I was also wearing a gown and she wanted to check underneath which would have meant being exposed before dh and other people in the room, when I aked if I could be covered up she asked me why I was shy I was shy in front of my dh as he'd have seen it all before.
I felt like my dignity was being stripped away as silly as that sounds. I was terrified of the op you see and this didn't help.
Is there anything which can be done if a similar situation arises? I know it is a day-to-day job for the staff, but surely they must realise that we are extremely nervous?
I'm worrying more about this aspect than the actual cs to be honest
Please help!

[Tapster]

You can "sack" a midwife - ask to have her changed but may not really possible if elcs as it may take time to find a free midwife if they are busy. I'd put your DH in charge of making sure the midwife is treating you okay and to explain that you are terrified.

[Lib76]

that's rotten you had such a bad experience. if it were me i would ask them why they were being so sharp or rude, that soon stops them in there tracks. mind you being a nurse im not afraid to question any member of medical staff. i was very luck though, i had brill midwives when i was in labour and going for emergency CS.

Tapster is right, you can asked to be looked after by someone else if there is a clash. good luck

[IAteDavinaForDinner]

I think the vast majority are lovely reassuring people and you were just really unlucky first time round. I am sure this time you won't beso unfortunate and will have someone really nice.

Make sure you tell them if you are scared - it is their job to look after you and give you confidence, not make you unhappy.

[elmoandella]

you can change midwife. get dh to go out to speak to someone in charge of ward and request a change.

[reikizen]

I'd bear in mind that midwives are human too and have bad days like the rest of us. Also, as a student midwife I can add that my maternity unit is so busy at the moment (Xmas & new year babies) that sometimes i forget to breathe never mind smile! I don't mean that you should put up with rudeness but be diplomatic. Good luck, you'll probably get someone lovely next time! (Maybe even me, in which case I promise to be nice even if it is the end of a 14 hour shift on an 8 day stretch and I have not had time for even a bite of sandwich since breakfast and there are too few midwives to safely look after the women we have).

[lauraloola]

Change her, change her, change her!

If you have the same one and she appears to be in the same mood ask her to give you some privacy and have a chat to your dh. He could go and find someone senior and raise your concerns. You are well within your rights to ask to change at any point. Good luck x

[chequers]

I had a nasty m/w and just ended up being gobby back to her.

Thankfully the shift changed after about 4 hours and the one I got after that was amazing.

Deffo ask to change if you're not happy with the m/w.