those of you who did not tear or need stitche....advice needed

[mad4mybaby]

when i had ds i had a 2nd degree tear and the sewing up was more painful than birth. He came quick at 4 hours and it was so intense i didnt have time to think about positions etc and gave birth propped up on the bed. Also no one prepared me for how much pain id be in afterwards. I couldnt get upstairs unaided and couldnt sit without a pillow for 8 weeks.

I also put in my birth plan i wanted as much help as poss to prevent tearing. I remember them holiding something on perenium but think that was all the help i got. That and panting.

Now pg with #2 and really want to avoid tearing/stitches at all costs esp as i'll have a 2 yr old running round. Those of you who did not tear please can you tell me your experiences and what i can do to help tearing? Im desperate to know there is hope for me!

[isaidno]

You could try perineal massage to help make your fanjo more stretchy. It is suggested for first pgs, not sure if it is considered worth doing second time around.

[osborne]

i tore really badly with first two, front back and sides. never forget midwife saying thats the clitoris, give her more anaesthetic! with third i was told left lateral was best, got cramp and had to go on my back. only a slight graze. midwife said she could control the baby's exit better taht way. was immeasurably better.

[MamaChris]

I used perineal massage (google it - difficult when heavily pregnant but your dp may help), water to labour in and ended up giving birth on my back on the bed, but no tears with an 8 pound baby. not sure which of these meant I got so lucky, but it was something I'd been really worrying about, and I'd read that massage and waterbirths lead to less tearing.

[ib]

I didn't tear at all. Had a water birth, which is supposed to help.

[wahwah]

Waterbirth worked for me-no stitches this time round.

[ib]

I didn't do perineal massage as I hated it, but did do the recommended stretches. I also held my perineum while pushing, but that was because I wanted to feel the baby's head! But apparently can help too.

[hana]

I have 3 kids and didn't need stitching for any of them. slight grazes/tears that's it. I think it's down to the midwife and telling you to push/wait etc etc. I didn't do any perineal massage either.

[barbamama]

I've had 2 and no stitches just mild grazes. Did do the perineal massage fairly extensively first time and a couple of times second time. Also gave birth squatting second time which seemed much easier to me as he came out much easier and the whole area didn't feel as tight / in danger of tearing.

[hana]

Oh yes, don't give birth lying down - I was squatting/kneeling for all

[expatinscotland]

i gave birth to dd2 on my knees with my arms hugging the top of the bed, which had been put up to sitting position.

i had a graze.

with dd1, because of her position, i'd have a forceps delivery with episiotomy and stitches to match.

[Elasticwoman]

Waterbirth and I was kneeling up, leaning against side of pool. Very good mw who kept the process slow after the head crowned.

[ninah]

I didn't but just lucky. Asked ex to get me some almond oil for massage etc but he brought home salad oil! I did take arnica tablets for a couple of weeks before, good for bruising. Good luck!

[Lovage]

The evidence that perineal massage helps with first births is pretty clear, but it's much less clear for second and subsequent: www.cochrane.org/reviews/en/ab005123.html. I'm not bothering this time and placing my hope in everything being bigger and saggier...

[Thankyouandgoodnight]

I didn't tear or graze and had DD at 7lbs 10 oz and DS at 9lbs 4oz.

Both were waterbirths and for both of them, I just 'breathed them out' allowing my uterus to do the pushing but without pushing on top of that IYSWIM?

Hyponobirthing techniques are quite helpful and to also remember at the time that regardless, the baby will come out so you may as well relax and 'let it out' as it were. Embrace the sensations and don't worry.

That's no help at all is it

[dinkystinky]

Tore terribly with DS in various directions - but that was because I was induced, had a whopper of a baby and an evil midwife from middle ages who made me give birth on my back in stirrups..... this time round, am going to do perineal massage to help stretch the area in advance (met a mum who had her second who tore badly in first pregnancy and did the massage and only had a graze for second birth with much bigger baby), definitely be upright (which is what I wanted last time round but b*tch wouldnt let me even try it and yelled at me when I said I wanted to change position) and will bite any midwife who tries to make me give birth on my back...

[ClareVoiant]

Another vote for water birth here too. Only slight tear, no stitches required. Mind you ds was only 6lb 4 :-)

[Elasticwoman]

Dinkystinky - the induction & stirrups, not the size of the baby, would have been much more significant than the baby's size. Mine was 10 lb 6 oz and I had undamaged perineum.
Sorry to hear of evil mw - though I suggest she's more Napoleonic than middle ages when you might have used a birthing stool and stayed upright. I believe Napoleon was responsible for introducing the idea of putting women on their backs, pushing their babies out uphill, the better for onlookers to observe. As bad ideas go, it's right up there with trying to invade Russia.

[amidaiwish]

I didn't tear with either DDs,
didn't do perineal massage (bought the oil but just couldn't bring myself to actually do it)
however i did push really gently - more of a pelvic floor squeeze than a full on push. Also really listened to midwife, when to push, when to stop etc. Both times i had really good midwives i think.

But, really don't know if it was anything i did, i was probably just lucky. Plus they were only 6 6 and 6 10.

DD1 gave birth on my side
DD2 was on all fours

[dinkystinky]

That pesky Napoleon! Yes, I think the stirrups probably made the tearing worse Elasticwoman - as did the fact the midwife was telling me to continually push.

[jocesar]

just had 1st baby, no tears, another advocate of waterbirth and using hypnobirthing techniques. agree best thing is to relax your body and let it happen.

[mad4mybaby]

i tried hypno birthing and did the cd every day from the week they tell you to but when it came to labour it was the last thing on my mind because everything happened so quickly, not going to bother doing it this time round. Everyone that is saying waterbirth, labouring in water or giving birth in water?

[Elasticwoman]

I gave birth in water. It is important not to get into the water too early, or it can impede labour. A good mw puts you in at the point of no return, resisting the desire of the labouring woman to get in earlier!

[mad4mybaby]

ok. So what are the best positions then if i dont make it to water in time? Ds came very quick and MW thinks this one will be even quicker.

[RhinestoneCowgirl]

mad4mybaby - I had slight graze with DS (first baby), it did take me over an hour to push him out, so this may have had a bearing.

Tearing was one thing I was really scared of, did perineal massage a bit in the last couple of weeks, no special oil needed - olive oil is fine. I ended up delivering DS in a deep squat, supported by DH.

I'm pg again and thinking of water this time (didn't get a pool last time as MW was so convinced that I wouldn't end up with a homebirth that I thought it wouldn't be worth it).

[Rolf]

I had my 4th child 6 weeks ago. 1 hour labour, unplanned homebirth, undiagnosed breech. I had a v small external graze but didn't need stitches. I was able to walk downstairs to the ambulance (we had to go to hospital for GBS observations) immediately afterwards and sat down in the ambulance with out wincing - in fact I didn't wince sitting down at all. Also (TMI here!) the first wee and poo afterwards didn't hurt at all.

I used hypnosis techniques which helped me stay relaxed and I can't recommend them highly enough. Like you, I was very concerned about tearing and stitches, having been very distressed by them in previous deliveries.

I didn't have any directed pushing - I just breathed the baby out and thought "I'm breathing down" as I was delivering her. I also took lots of arnica before and after delivery. I used a herbal remedy called hypercal, too. You put a solution of it on a flannel and hold it over your perineum after delivery. I did the same thing the first few times I went to the loo.

Good luck