AIBU: 33weeks, severe S.P.D and pre-eclampsia

[bealcain]

i'm currentl 33weeks pregnant with 2ds....ds1 is 2.5 ds2 is 15months. I have severe S.P.D. meaning i find it hard to do the simplest of tasks, including picking my children up. I also have early on-set pre-eclampsia.

Am i being unreasonable to think that i should have a right to say when i'm induced??

up to 23weeks i can decide if i want to kill my baby, but after this time the doctors have the only say in what happens...is this reasonable??

i understand they couldn't let anyone just walk in off the street, request an induction and give it to them, but surely i should have some say?? if i am fully informed of all risks and accept responsibility for the outcome then why shouldn't they proceeed with it? i know 33weeks is early, but even saying yes you've suffered enough let's just wait till 35, i'd be happy with!! grrrr

sorry i'm rambling i'm jsut at the end of my tether

[moopymoo]

can completely understand the end of your tether feeling. can you get some extra help with the children? It sounds more likely that they will take you in to hospital i
esp if pre eclampsia worsens. That would maybe be a good thing? 35 weeks is still early and less than ideal for delivery - 38 is term though. i guess you prob know that though. so rough for you i remember climbing the walls at this stage.

[bealcain]

it just annoys me that i can choose if i want to kill my baby, but when it comes to delivery i have no say.....

[EffiePerine]

ouch, sounds awful. I thik the main worry for early deliveries is that the baby's lungs haven't matured - if you're delivering early they'll put you on steroids. Every week at this stage is a bonus I think (for the baby if not for you).

I assume your pre-eclampsia is being monitored? You might end up being induced early if it gets worse.

In the meantime, get as much help as you can.

[EffiePerine]

it's s tricky one re: rights, isn;t it? I thik the medical approach is if the baby's life is viable outside the womb, their interests are about equal to the mother's. If not, the mother's interests take priority. So at 33 weeks they are trying to balance your interests (pain, bp), with the risks to the baby of being born early. Not easy.

[bealcain]

but why should they be the ones to choose??

[TheApprentice]

You have my utmost sympathy. I'm 33 weeks too, but only have one toddler to contend with, and without the pre eclampsia etc. Is there anyone who could help you with the children? You need to rest.

[EffiePerine]

well ideally it should be decided with you, but As We Know medical professionals can be a bit iffy over this!

Are you boooked with a consultant? Could you amke an appointment to discuss your options?

[bealcain]

mum lives miles away and my firends all have children of their own. my DHs dad is 80 now so not great at running around 2 small kids. i know i need to rest but how can i? i already go back to bed with them during the day. it's just hard not having any control.

[bealcain]

EP - appt on thursday, but thats for P.E.T. check up

[EffiePerine]

Sure Start? Can they help before the birth as well as after? Local friends? MNers?

[madmarriedNika]

I think the prob as others have said is that docs won't allow you to deliver until baby's lungs are mature unless there is a more urgent medical reason e.g. if your PE gets much worse or baby is going into distress or not growing. I think as usual that's due to the risk of you later suing them should anything happen to your baby due to pre-term birth.

I had PE in both pregnancies and second time was tough as had a just-turned-2 DS....and was supposed to be on bedrest (ha ha!). Luckily my MIL helped out although she had to come and stay as they live quite a distance away. DH couldn't get time off work. As my BP gradually crept up they decided to admit me at 35 weeks as knew I was unlikely to be resting as much as they'd have liked at home. My condition deteriorating and DD was born by emergency c-section at 36 weeks. Usually by 36 weeks lungs are mature but just in case not they did give me antenatal steroids to help develop her lungs (they need at least 24 hours pre-birth to administer these)- but she still had probs breathing and was in SCBU for a week. I wish we'd made it to 37 weeks if at all possible in retrospect as I still haven't had a baby on the ward with me after birth (my first was born at 30 weeks).
Sorry ranting here!

I would enlist any help possible- your health visitor can organise a local volunteer to come to your house to help out with the kids through surestart, I'm sure other friends with kids would take yours if they know your pain and the fact you should be resting- even 2 hours in an afternoon would help you enormously.

But definitely voice your opinions to your obstetrician- leave a message with their secretary if you want a response soon- but I do think they'll hope to keep you pregnant until at least 36 weeks.

I really hope your PE doesn't become full-blown- good luck with the appt on Thurs xx

[madmarriedNika]

PS. my only other tip would be to get the kids watching lots of DVDs so you can rest up (for a few weeks this'll do them no harm), and don't cook- live off ready-made soups, rolls, microwave meals etc. Again a couple of weeks of this will do you no harm! And it's the right season for salads and sandwiches!

But seriously phone your health visitor they really should be able to help (mine had been offering me a volunteer through surestart even though right now don't feel I need it)

Are you seeing a physio for your SPD? Not sure they always help much but might....

Hope you avoid having a prem baby if possible but that you do get help to get to term xx

[bealcain]

thanks ladies x x

feeling a bit more ok this afternoon. taking double doses of painkillers, but at least it's helping!!

[ScottishMummy]

i had severe PE and HELLP symptoms.the only cure for PE is to deliver your baby so imo dont get to hung up wrangling about dates (you have enough on your plate)
sometimes you have to well just wait and see no obstetrician wants to deliver earler than necessary BUT they need to be mindful of contraindications.the fact you are already 33wk gone is actually VPositive

be guided by clinical obs
be aware things can move fastly if you deteriorate
my baby was delivered early Emergency CS weighed

[whomovedmychocolate]

Bealcain - I can sympathise entirely. I had PET with DD 20 months ago, had a failed induction and then an emergency section at post-term because the docs refused to believe my dates, until a very very ropey placenta was pulled out of me. I also have SPD and can't walk some days at all. Even turning over in bed brings tears to my eyes at the minute.

I've been admitted every day for three days (and then let out because my BP dropped again) and I'm 35 weeks tomorrow.

The fact is that until 34 weeks your chances of having a baby which doesn't need extra help are fairly slim. Once you get to 34 weeks 95% of babies are breathing on their own, but will have problems with temperature regulation and may be susceptible to respiratory infections.

Obviously it would be ideal if you could get to 37 weeks. However in lots of cases it's just not a good idea - I can't be induced again because of the my previous CS - the risk of uterine rupture is quadrupled when you have a previous CS during induction. Also as we established last time, the drugs just don't work on me.

Also babies born before 34 weeks tend to be born very quickly and again this isn't great - you tend not to be in hospital if you go into labour at this point and precipitous labour is dangerous for preemies, which is why a caesarian is often given to avoid the extra stress of labour on the baby (and also to make it easier to manage the process of getting your baby to the SCBU).

What I would suggest - seriously - is that you go back to your consultant and ask to make a plan - it might be that you can agree that by say 38 weeks, if the baby is not born and you are still in pain and suffering HBP then you will either be induced or have a CS. You can also ask for regular monitoring so that it is picked up quickly if your condition deteriorates (although it's a total PITA having to go to the MAU every sodding morning with a toddler in tow I can tell you!) At least if you do this you will know there is an end date.

Getting stressed, as I'm sure you know, as well as experiencing pain, increases your blood pressure quite substantially. That's not a criticism - if one more bastard tells me to calm down lest I raise my BP I may well punch their lights out - but you can do a few things to help - regular painkillers for example to keep a handle on the SPD - I avoided them for months but now I've accepted that four paracetamol a day isn't going to kill me or the baby.

Oh and it's normal to have a bit of antipathy towards the baby which is causing you so much pain. But you won't hear a lot of support for that on MN I suspect

Good luck.

[bealcain]

thanks chocolate. i'm only P.E.T. due to protein in urine and every other symptom but hbp.

got appt. today so hopefully a plan will be made. am in every other day atm for urine dip and bp. i'm hoping for 36weeks. that's only 2weeks away and am on co-codomol for the pain, it helps a wee bit, but not substantially, dont want to be on it longterm.

[sweetkitty]

bealcain - I can totally sympathise I am 38 weeks today and have bad SPD it's horrendous, I was asking about induction last night as well but TBH I would only want it at 39 weeks + for risk to the baby. I know it's bloody hard I have a 4yo and 2 1/2 yo myself and no family support but I would rather hobble around in agony for a few more weeks than see my baby in NICU and being born before she is ready.

I don't think they will induce before 37 weeks unless theres a very good medical reason. Couldn't 37 weeks be a compromise? I know 3 weeks seems like an age when you are in so much pain.

Please speak to your MW or HV there are only ways you can get help, I got DD2 into nursery 3 days a week early which helps as does doing as little as you can (not easy I know).