Help - think I've been stitched up too tightly after episiotomy...

[Holymoly321]

Gave birth via VBAC to DS2 5 mhts ago. HAve twice tried to have sex with DH but it was too painful - seems to be too tight down there. He is a big lad so there was never much room for leeway in the first place. Am terrified that I'm now too tight...

[MrsTittleMouse]

It is possible to be stitched up too tight. If I were you I would go to the GP and request a referral. I assume that you (ahem) "warmed up" well beforehand and used lube... is that right?

[LadyOfWaffle]

Mine was sore for months and months - sex the first few times was painful. Try KJ jelly (during sex and just rub some on scar day to day).

[Holymoly321]

I'm not sore anymore down there at all, it is just too painful when DH tries to penetrate-apologies if TMI. IS this normal? We didn't use lube, and I am totally exhausted from bf'ing every blooming night so am not totally 100% 'into' having sex at the mo, but really want to be IYSWIM.

[clayre]

we had to use ky jelly the first couple of times after my episiotomy, that was about 6 months after dd was born

[Holymoly321]

did it hurt clayre? It felt like DH was just much too big to even get past the 'gates'...

[LadyOfWaffle]

I found you really do have to be into it, or it does hurt. Can you try lube and a little more foreplay? Relax as much as possible. I also found (so sorry if TMI) if DH puts 'it' in the right place, but doesn't penetrate and teases for a while... you know, all the foreplay kinda stuff and gradually puts it in further each time is a good way to get back into it. I think I would have run for the hills if we had tried to just shove it in!

[phlossie]

It sounds like it might be a dryness issue - unlike when you're preg, breastfeeding sucks moisture from everywhere - including your poor, battered bits. So, on top of being poor and battered and you being rightly nervous of them getting any more attention, they're as dry as your mouth once was with the most heinous of hangovers (remember that feeling?!)
That said, my bits did some extra healing. I went to see my doctor because my inner labs were joined by a bit of skin (think broken zip). I also had some scar tissue that grew across the bottom of the hole - a bit like the webbing between your thumb and forefinger (and similarly tough).
The specialist said that I'd need a GA to sort the webbing scar tissue, at which point I cried because the zip bit made sex physically impossible and it would be 9 months from ds's birth to when I could get a slot (excuse the pun) in theatre. So she, erm, unzipped me with a minor surgical procedure and left the webbing scar tissue to stretch with use. It was a bit tight at first, but did stretch with time.
So, if you do have some extra healing, it'll probably strech with use. If you're worried have a look with a mirror and a good feel around. If you're still worried, see the doc.

[lisad123]

I was going to ask the same question but was
I thought mine might have been sewn too tight but asking toalking to someone else, discovered it might be that im still Bf.
I have a smear (oh the plessures of being a woman) and thouught i might ask the nurse while she is down there LOL

[middymee]

Episotomy scars are the commonest cause of Dyspareunia (painful intercourse) following childbirth. However, I think 5mths is a long enough time to expect it to be painfree. Try using lots of lubricant first and as LadyofWaffle so nicely put it "foreplay kinda stuff and gradually puts it in further each time" often works. Knowing you have had a cut there, which was stitched can make you tense without really realising it simply because you are 'waiting' for it to hurt IYSWIM? If the lube doesn't work def see your GP cause it may need resuturing.

[princessmel]

I know of 2 people who have had an op on their vagina after being stitched wrongly.

I'd go to your gp and get them to check it out.

But it could be down to being not 'in the mood' enough .

[morningpaper]

It took about 18 months after my first before sex stopped hurting, but I WAS stitched up too tightly and this was confirmed by GP/gynae. They advised painkillers and having another baby

Had another baby and now I could hide a postbox up there and still have room for the postman to cycle in and do the 5pm collection

[maxbear]

Very occasionally women are stitched up too tightly and it can make sex physically impossible. You need to get a gynae referral if trying lots of foreplay, lube etc does not work.