Could it really be possible that I may never go into labour? That my body just CAN'T do it...

[paranoidmummy]

Ok, so I am currently overdue with my 2nd baby (40+10 by private dates, 40+1 by NHS scan and 40+4 by my own dates! - all very confusing in itself!). With my 1st baby I went 6 days overdue before having a hindwater leak followed by NO contractions. They induced me on the drip at 8 days overdue which ended in an emcs for failure to progress.So I NEVER ever started contracting on my own...

This time around I have been determined to have a vbac but I am now really starting to question my body's ability to actually do this . Is it true that some people just won't go into spontaneous labour???

I have had numerous false alarms and some quite painful, regular contractions. However my midwife came to do a sweep yesterday and could barely reach my cervix . It was 'very posterior', 'closed' and 'thick' BOO HISS BOO

I have tried EVERY single natural trick out there but obviously nothing has made the slightest bit of diff . I had acupuncture and reflexology as well which didn't do anything... my reflexologist said my uterus appeared soft and ready which really cheered me up and made me think things were imminent but no.. nothing.

Please don't get me wrong, I know this is hardly the biggest problem in the world and I thank god I have been lucky enough to carry a baby to full term and not to have it prematurely or anything. I suffered two miscarriages prior to conceiving this baby so I really am grateful to reach this stage.

I am just seriously wondering now if it may be that my body doesn't know 'how' to go into labour. i know it may sound ridiculous but my midwife did seem to imply that some people would never go into labour without medical intervention . I have an appointment with my cons on thurs for a cervical assessment and to book in for an 'elective' (hardly!) caesarean. Now I am starting to wonder if I should book it for sooner rather than later. I am just holding out for something that will NEVER happen? Any experiences or advice will be greatly appreciated.

Sorry for such a rant, I'm just very confused!!!!

[TheBlonde]

which dates do you think are correct? yours?
if you are only 40 weeks your cervix could well be v unfavourable, you might still need another 2 weeks

[FAQ]

well my waters went (in true Niagara Falls fashion) with DS1, and nothing else happened, was going to be induced but ended up with a CS instead (long story)

DS2, hind waters went, nothing else happened, ended up being induced (yes for a VBAC!).

DS3, waters didn't break until I was in labour, but my body did it completely unaided.

[Pollyanna]

PM I am in exactly the same position as you. By the latest date I am 41 weeks, and by the earliest date more than 42 weeks. I have had contractions for weeks, yet the mw couldn't see my cervix last week - couldn't even get a finger tip in apparently.

I am huge, uncomfortable and fed up. Also due to be induced on Thursday.

Sorry this is no help, but just to say that I know how you feel....

(btw this isn't my first, and I have given birth naturally before, but starting to feel that it won't happen this time.)

[KristinaM]

paranoid - you sound like me

i was determined to have a "natural" labour and ended up being bullied into being induced at 40+17 with DS1.was hyperstiulated, ended up with epidural and nasty instrumental delivery

i remember them all crowding around and admiring my placenta!!!

DS2 was breech and i was determined not to have a cs. had him turned by ECV. Went to 40+19 and turned up for my induction to be told i had to have a section. oh and we are busy so coudl you wait 9 hours? By the time they took me to theatre i had been fasted for 16 hours and all i cared about was getting something to eat

like you i have the feeling that my body is faulty and would never go into labour

i was 100% sure of my dates

not sure if this helps. just wanted you to knwo you are not teh only one

[1066andallthat]

With DS2, I had similar confusion about dates - a week out. I had two sweeps and my cervix was very favourable and nothing. When they offered me an induction, I almost bit their hands off - I just wanted to see him in one piece. So my attitude was coming from a different angle to yours. Saying that, the induction worked, but I'd already had DS1 (VBAC).
Thinking of you - I drove myself up the wall that last week, not helped by DS2 moving position and giving me chronic back ache. By the way, my dates were right - he was almost three weeks late, which still shocks me!

[paranoidmummy]

Thanks for replies

I know that I have to be at least 40+4 because of when I conceived. I can cope with waiting a fortnight (providing I can keep the hosp at bay!) for a natural labour. I am just really concerned I will wait this length of time and my body just still won't go into labour!! I know this sounds really silly but I just really can't see it starting of its own accord!! Prob cos I haven't experienced it before and because any HCP I have seen really don't seem very convinced in my ability to do it either!

FAQ- can i ask if you were overdue with any of them? I know induction is sometimes offered for vbacs but i'm pretty paanoid re the increased risk of rupture. I'd like to avoid it really.

Also, my bump is measuring just over 43cm... is this anything to worry about? or is this pretty inaccurate? i'm not naturally very big and my bump appears to be all baby...

[FAQ]

no I've never gone overdue, closest I got to any of my EDD was with DS2 who was born 2 days before (but waters went a week before).

I honestly didn't think I was going to go into labour on my own with DS3, having had 2 previous instances of nothing happening after my waters had gone I was convinced my body didn't know how, and was simply sat waiting for waters to go and nothing else.

So a bit of a shock when I had a show, and just over 24hrs later DS3 arrived of his own accord!

[deaconblue]

you poor thing. My sister had this with both of her babies and is sure she would never have gone into labour on her own either. There are people (sister included) who have had positive experiences of inductions though, both her labours were less than 8 hours start to finish and despite having epidurals she didn't need instrumental deliveries with either. I needed two sweeps to get labour going with ds and ended up with syntocinon augmentation so I wonder if I'm not so good at getting started either. Hoping will be better with dc2 next month

[paranoidmummy]

sorry pollyanna, kristina and 1066 - x posts with all of you with my essay!!

pollyanna - HUGE positive vibes for you that you go into labour before thurs keep me updated

kristina - thank you for sharing your story; it does help that i am not the only one who thinks this and makes me feel less crazy! can i just ask if your babies appeared 'overcooked' when born?

1066 - if it wasn't for the risk of scar rupture i would prob be begging for induction too but as my only other option is c section it worries me . again, was your lo ok for going 3 WEEKS OVER?

ps. if i get one more F###ING phonecall or text asking if i have had the baby i will kill somebody!

[edam]

Normal length of pregnancy is 38 to 42 weeks so I'm afraid if you are 40+1, or 40+4, you might have a bit longer to wait. Estimated due dates are just a rough guess. Sorry! Don't lose faith just yet.

[paranoidmummy]

good luck shoppingbags!i hope your body does it on its own this time

thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It is making me feel that it may be safer if go for the cs. i know i can see what the state of 'things' are on thurs but maybe i should then book a c section for mon next week (making me either 40+17(!),40+11 or 40+8). I just hate admitting defeat!!!!

[paranoidmummy]

I really hope you're right edam as i would so love to have this one naturally. It just makes it so hard cos I have conflicting dates I am scared of letting myself go 14 days over by the nhs date as essentially this puts me 23 dats over by my private dates! as i am measuring 43 weeks too this really does worry me!!! god pregnancy is fun...

[paranoidmummy]

days not dats

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

No one really knows if some woman won't go into spontaneous labour, because they're always induced - iyswim.

Huddle round and I'll tell you a story that I hope will raise your spirits! I had a sweep at 40 weeks and the mw said my cervix was like it was 38 weeks (cue lots of weeping.) I then went into spontaneous labour at 40+8 (I had no signs that night that it was going to happen). So, don't let all what is going on at the moment get you down.

Repeat after me:

I am a strong woman
My body was built for this
I am ready to meet my baby, when my baby is ready
I will have patience

I can't hear you .................

[deaconblue]

mine and sister's babies were very overcooked looking. Ds shed every bit of skin from his eyelids to the soles of his feet in his first two weeks of life and there wasn't a scrap of vernix to be seen. My sister's babies were bloomin massive and wrinkly

[paranoidmummy]

thanks iliketomoveit that has made me feel a bit better

I could be having to repeat that mantra a fair amount!!! i just wish i had a crystal ball so i could see which option i should take!!! i will be mightily pissed off if i hold out for 2 more weeks and then STILL have a c section and a very overcooked baby/failing placenta etc. arrghhhhhhhhhh this is so difficult!

[deaconblue]

but you will know you made that decision for the very best of reasons imo

[KristinaM]

paranoid - my babies did not look overcooked - they had some vernix but were largish - 8lb5oz and 9lb11oz

DS1 was quite traumatised by the instrumental delivery and seemed to have no rooting or sucking refex, so had terrible trouble feeding. i mean, he was a NIGHTMARE for months

DS2 ( born by cs)was great and Bf well immediatly. in fact now i cant get him to stop

both placentas were great - received much more admiration than my beautiful babies. First time i had plenty fluid, second time less so.Both babies very active - they didnt really need to hook me up to the monitor, they coudl have sat across the room and watched my bump move

the consultant on duty teh day i went in to be induced with #2 was unhappy to induce me because i had a large late baby, i couldn't get the last one out without help and he couldn't use drugs to induce me

he was convinced i woudl end up as an emergency CS so felt it was safer to just go straight to theatre

i recovered better after the cs than the intrumental delivery and the baby was MUCH better

[Lulumama]

agre with ILTMIMI

you need to get rid of the feeling and get to this

positive affirmations and a positive mindset are really beneficial

your body is not ready today

no reason it might not be ready tomorrow

read some inspiring books and try to relax

being tense is not helping

have a bath, and relax, light some candles, and really connect with your baby and your pregnant state

try to get to feel more positive

if you have a c.s , do it becasue you wnat to not to pre-empt some failure that has not happened yet ! ifyswim

[paranoidmummy]

thanks again everybody

You're right lulu, i do know it deep down that my grumpy old mood won't help anything! I think i was just SO disheartened yest when she told me my cervix was nowhere near ready. I wasn't overly prepared for it. plus i feel like everybody around me thinks i'll end up with a cs which really doesn't help matters! i might book in for another reflexology session as, although it didn't encourage labour, it did make me feel so good and positive afterwards... until yesterday!

sometimes i wonder if my sheer desperation for a vbac is making me overly tense and not letting things just take its course...

[Lulumama]

have the reflexology, with the aim of feeling good and nothing else !!

you can go to 42 weeks before you need to decide , as long as baby is happy in there!

lots of sex to ripen the cervix will help

[phlossie]

I'm going to harp on about it again - try acupuncture. Apart from anything else, it's a nice relaxing therapy.
Also, raspberry leaf tea and some essential oils like clary sage can help aid strong contractions, so when you're body gets going it'll go quickly.
I felt just like you do when my first pregnancy went over. But with my second, I was much more relaxed and positive. I had acupuncture and that triggered things - dd was born naturally after a very short labour and just over 24hours after the treatment.
A friend's waters broke and she had to be induced 72 hours later. Her second baby came quickly and naturally.

[KristinaM]

lulumama - i had loads of sex. my dh was exhausted from have to you know what with this hugely pg irrational woman

whadya mean, you dont feel like it?? I don't bloody care, i need these prostagladins on my cervix

yes i knwo, i'm such a romantic

made NO difference. none. nada

[paranoidmummy]

that's what concerns me ruby... that maybe i am one of these people whose body just doesn't possess the right makeup to go into labour...

HOWEVER i am going to take lulu's advice and take eash day as it comes... at least until the end of the week. I just need to make a decision on a sensible date to give my cons on thurs for the cs when i really can say i've given it my best shot and that the cs is for the best... its hard to know how long that should be...

i will do the reflexology again cos i did really like it.have had LOADS of sex too and so far... zilch! i'm actually feeling a bit sore from it all

phlossie... tried acupuncture last week and nothing