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free birthing (please don't post if you don't like the idea)

(234 Posts)
workstostaysane Mon 21-Jan-08 21:05:48

anyone done it, interested in it, read the books?
i'm only just pregnant for the 2nd time - had a totally drug free wonderful home birth first time around and now keep thinking i'd love to do it without a midwife this time. just interested to know if there is anyone else really.

sophable Mon 21-Jan-08 21:07:43

wow, on your own completely or with a birth partner of sorts...

think it is a great if brave thing to want to do...but what was it about the midwife that made you think you'd rather not have her this time around? was she independant and therefore is it the money? or do you just want privacy, control etc?

There are some interesting websites on this - google freebirthing - and some videos on youtube.

Is a happy medium to have the midwife in the next room within hollering distance?

ChasingSquirrels Mon 21-Jan-08 21:10:46

I did - but it wasn't planned so I don't think it counts.....

pooka Mon 21-Jan-08 21:12:35

Can't think of anything positive to post. <sits on hands>
Sorry, but why would you not have a midwife there? In what way would a midwife present at a homebirth be a bad thing.

pooka Mon 21-Jan-08 21:13:13

Yes, agree with whomovedmychocolate. A midwife present but not interfering?

specialmagiclady Mon 21-Jan-08 21:13:21

I accidentally freebirthed - had a doula tho'. She was amazing. My labour was terribly terribly quick so it was good to have someone there to support me, better than my husband who didn't understand that "that's really stinging" meant baby was crowning and get warm towels for him NOW! As a consequence my shit-smeared, bloody, marvellous baby was wrapped in my best bath-sheet1

I was quite panicky and the doula kept me calm. Maybe I was panicky because I was thinking "where the hell are the midwives!?!" tho'.

Also, midwives arrived in time to stitch me up!

FrannyandZooey Mon 21-Jan-08 21:13:30

good luck!

lulumama Mon 21-Jan-08 21:16:03

i am interested in the idea

but in practice, i don;t think i could do it, personally.

a good MW will be really hands off and respectful of your wishes to birth your baby yourself, but can help you should there be a problem with you or the baby

i read something once on a freebirth site, a couple of years ago, where parents had lifted their baby out of the birth pool in such a way the baby breathed in water , and was very unwell as a result. cannot remember exactly what happened, and i have never read about or heard about water birth causing an issue like this before, but i think if you are going to freebirth , you need to be so sure that the way you plan to give birth is safe for baby, who does not have a choice about being born without medical back up.

as a doula ,i have every faith in womens' ability to birth, but i am not totally comfortable with birth without someone qualified around, just in case

i think the idea of a midwife in the next room is a good one

what is it that attracts you to freebirthing? seeing as your experience last time was so positive.....

Yorky Mon 21-Jan-08 21:16:54

I also had a totally wonderful drug free home water birth with DS, don't know if I'm confident enough to go it totally alone next time, not that there was anything we couldn't have done ourselves. Maybe we hear too many horror stories but I think I'd keep the safety cushion there personally. Good luck if its what you want

isn't it illegal? i know you said no negatiove posts but why would you want to put yourself and your baby indanger like that?

lulumama Mon 21-Jan-08 21:19:54

i don;t believe it is illegal

someone else acting as a midwife or deliberately in place of a MW ,when they are not qualified is illegal

libEL Mon 21-Jan-08 21:20:52

I'd love to do it. I too had a wonderful homebirth with ds, and would love to have done it without the midwives there, one of whom just made me feel quite uncomfortable. My sister said all along with her dd she wanted to do it with just her and her dp, had a homebirth planned and midwife didnt quite get there in time - I often wonder if she did that on purpose hmm

sweetkitty Mon 21-Jan-08 21:20:59

I have had a homebirth myself but loved having the MWs there, they were so supportive when I was losing it.

Why not have a MW in the room but hands off just to watch and jump in if anything was going wrong?

sorry- i knew something was illegal.

so freebirthing-having your dh take the place of the midwife(which is what you would have to do-cord cutting etc, easing shoulders out) would then be illegal wouldb't it?

because this would be planned?
i just think you would be on very dodgy ground if {god forbid} something went wrong.

sophable Mon 21-Jan-08 21:29:07

argh but giving birth is NOT being ill and in normal circs it is a very safe process.

think that we are all conditioned to believe taht medical back up will save the day, in fact half the time it is allopathic: it harms rather than helps in terms of the birth process.

i think if you are psychologically comfortable with the idea, in striking distance of a hospital and have no reason to suspect any problems during the pregnancy, and this is a second birth, it is a great choice to feel free enough of scaremongering and a culture of medical intervention to make.

personally, I'd want a (wise and experienced) woman there, which is a tradition in most cultures. not for medical reasons, but to support me through the process, having said that, if you prefer not to have that, why should you?

workstostaysane Mon 21-Jan-08 21:33:43

thanks for respecting the 'no negative posts' request.
free birthing is not illegal. its illegal to have someone there who is not a midwife but who is claiming to perform the services of a midwife.

my midwife last time was great actually. i was lucky she showed on the day cos the others couldn't really have given a toss. i'd like to do it alone because it felt really natural (even easy) last time. Afterwards the midwives regularly forgot to come and check up on me, but i think thats because i was doing fine and they had other people who needed them more. so i suppose i'm wondering if i read enough and prepare enough myself, i could do it alone. they left me pretty much alone last time and i coped.

mainly i just love the idea of being alone giving birth to my child - just her/him and me doing it together. it would be such a powerful start to a new life. i'll never forget the gloriousness of being at home with dd and dh an hour after having her.

katepol Mon 21-Jan-08 21:33:52

I have had two babies where the midwife only got there as I was pushing.

I prefer to labour alone, but want the confidence of a midwife around just in case.

Neither time did the midwife do anything, she just sat back and observed.

What about asking for a midwife happy to do a hands off birth, all being well? Maybe an IM if you can afford it?

I personally think that going solo is a tad irresponsible, sorry.

workstostaysane Mon 21-Jan-08 21:37:37

also, if the midwife is next door 'just in case', you are already embracing the idea that something can go wrong, which in my (very humble) experience, is exactly when things do go wrong. so for that reason alone i wouldn't want one there

hatrick Mon 21-Jan-08 21:40:13

Sounds interesting, I have had 2 very straightforward births where the midwife was only really involved in catching the baby and cord cutting etc which was fab. However the other birth was not so straightforward and dd1 had shoulder dystocia which I feel sure I could never have dealt with alone. This would always hold me back from freebirthing tbh but can sort of see why it would appeal.

Good luck.

workstostaysane Mon 21-Jan-08 21:43:53

MMJ - noone eased dd's shoulders or any other part of her out, she just oozed out. dh is a lawyer so would not be on for breaking the law

i thinks thats a strange point of view worktostaysane.
a good midwife does stuff to help without you really realising surely?

say you do decide to go it alone, how will you know when to stop pushing to prevent tearing? what will you do if you do tear? what will you do if the baby gets stuck?

i do think you need to think of these possiibilites rather than th thinking that to think of them will amke them happen iyswim.

katepol Mon 21-Jan-08 21:47:44

WTSS - if things are going to go wrong, they will. The presence of a friendly m/w in the next room making a cup of tea isn't going to cause it.

Maybe you could work on some of your 'worry' feelings about the presence of health professionals?

I sort of get what you are saying - I have read Odent and know about how a physiological birth should be free from medical interventions and unwanted presences etc etc, but really, a m/w in the next room isn't a problem unless you make it into one, surely?

x posts.

each to their own but i would be very reuctant to go it completely alone( and i'm a labour in water, no drugs , etc etc person too! }

lulumama Mon 21-Jan-08 21:48:19

>>if the midwife is next door 'just in case', you are already embracing the idea that something can go wrong,>>

it is a tiny , tiny, tiny chance if you are low risk , normal pregnancy with one straightforward birth behind you

as i posted earlier, i am a doula, and have every confidence in womens' abilities to give birth , esepcially when they are not interfered with or disturbed during labour.

but midwives are experts in normal birth.. and should be on hand IMO

if you choose to give birth without a MW, then go for it, it is your choice and your birth, just don;t expect everyone to understand or condone your choice.

it is a shame that we do not have traditional MWs, women who have not neccesarily trained medically but have attended lots of births and are trained in the traditions of birth... who could attend as a mw without the issue of legality

think that would be an option a number of women would go for

anyway, those are my thoughts on it smile

certainly an interesting topic

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