Do your nether regions ever get back to normal after a vaginal birth?

[Gangle]

I am 23 weeks and increasingly thinking about the birth. So far I've been petrified of giving birth naturally, mainly because of the loss of control and risk of things going wrong, but also because of the potential damage to your bits. I've read several books that say that you are always a bit looser which I suppose is a natural consequence but how bad is it? Do you ever get your old body back?

[lilmissmummy]

IMHO I honestly think it depends on the person- I know that after 2 children I am a bit thicker round the waist and smaller and saggier in the boob but thats about it!

With regards to down below bits- pelvic floor exercises all day, all night and eventually that bit does go back to normal, I dont think I am any looser and neither does dh so I wouldnt worry too much.

Good luck with the birth of your baby, I am sure it will all be fine

[crokky]

I had an episiotomy (sp?) and forceps delivery and it was a neat cut, which was well stitched up. The stitches healed up very quickly and dissolved. "Down there" has not been affected at all, however, cannot say the same for boobs which are now droopy!!!!!!!!!!!! And belly which never got flat again .

[morningpaper]

yes it is BAD, it is looser, and inside out, and half way down your thighs, and you can't trampoline with a full bladder

I've not got my old body back

But it's worth it, honest

[camillathechicken]

it is not simply the birth that causes things to change in your pelvic floor, but simply being pregnant.. so even a c.s does not remove all possibility of things being looser. the hormones produced when you are pregnant, plus the baby, the fluid, etc all put a strain on the pelvic floor.

I have had one c.s and one v.b and i can trampoline with confidence. DH assures me there is no difference. I had an intact perineum after my v.b , with a couple of stitches internally for a graze.

you need to do pelvic floor excercises whilst pregnant and afterwards , in fact women should do them all the time regardless.

[JodieG1]

I've had 3 vaginal births and everything feels the same to me. I was swollen for a week or two but that soon went down. I was lucky enough not to tear or be cut so I think that must have made a difference.

[S1ur]

Don't fret Gangle, the birth will be ace, and quick and over soon enough and you'll have a lovely LO to look at.

It's your first so your body will return but don't expect anything for first few months and don't feel down about it for at least nine months later, of coursae you might be one of those Paula Radcliff types where you can run a marathon later! Just don't feel bad if you're just like us average folk.

Your fanjo will be gorgeous and tight as a rats arse should you put the time into exercises

And anyway, there are worse things in life than not having a pristine fanjo

[wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons]

Well mine is not the same. I had an episiotomy with my first and there is a small amount of scar tissue which I occasionally feel (occasionally like once a month, if that). And my pelvic floor is not up to what it was. The doctor says I have a slight anterior prolapse. Sex has not been affected though. I did have big babies though.

[lazawreath]

My god, I can't have a bath anymore without sucking up half the water, and then when i stand up it's like niagara falls.

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

I had a second degree tear when I gave birth 4 months ago, got sewed up and the stitches were gone within two weeks, all soreness and pain gone within three, and resumed my normal lovelife by 3 1/2 weeks. Dp said at the time that he didn't notice much difference, considering.

I couldn't feel much initially though, I was worried I'd never regain sensation and that I'd ruined our sex life, but I did, it feels completely and utterly back to normal, not any looser. Things looked a little "tired" down there for a while (haven't looked since, really) but not significantly different to before.

Try not to get too scared about the birth, people do it every day, often several times over- if it was That Bad no-one would do it more than once! And there has never been a better time to do it, never have the drugs been so good, and never have the doctors known more about what's going on with your baby.

You can't help but lose control when you're in the later stages of giving birth but the midwives are trained to KNOW that women do lose control, and they've seen thousands of labouring women, screaming, swearing, pooing themselves etc- you might be surprised how well you do behave actually, I whined and grunted my way through labour and only said "SHIT! Sorry!" a couple of times, even though I normally have quite a colourful swearing vocabulary!

As for things going wrong, MOST women have normal births, but dodgy statistics and scary stories are bandied about willy nilly. My advice is don't read "true life" (yeah, right) birth stories in magazines.

They wouldn't sell many copies of the magazines if they printed stories of bogstandard boring normal births: "Breezed through, nine hour labour, lots of waiting about eating biscuits in the early stages, gas n air really helped, very sore but I coped well, no stitches, healthy baby girl"

[manchita]

There is a general consensus that your labia hang lower
(one friend says she can throw them over her shoulder like a regimented soldier)

[elbarto]

I had my first in August and had exactly the same worries, but despite a small tear that needed a couple of stitches all was fine.

stitches dropped out two days later (midwife obv. not a great seamstress!) which was worrying but everything had healed up nicely a week later.

all back to normal 4 months on so don't worry!

[elbarto]

manchita!

[manchita]

Do you think we should do a survey

[robin3]

Mine are fine after two births.

[GLAMpresentsforMAMAplease]

manchita I can tie mine in a knot, can tie them in a bow. And I'm having another baby in March!!!

[Celery]

mines definately not the same, but it still does the job okay.

[Nooname]

Well, def not the same as it was. I, luckily, haven't had a problem with weeing or anything like that but, it's hard to describe, but everything is definitely in a different place to where it used to be!! Different angle and lower! No looser though.
Perhaps I'm just weird though... Or maybe it depends on your age (33).

Good luck and try not to worry too much.

[manchita]

LOL Glam

[Blu]

Gangle - sympathies with your anxiety - I thnk every pregnant woman worries about things like that.

Firstly - is there an 'active birth' class you could attend? I was terrified of being out of control, humilliated and treated like meat.

None of that happened. I was clea about what I wanted and stayed very active, using only TENS, breathing and pool. If you can stay upright and mobile, and breathe, and use a TENS machine from early on to get your natural endorphins sky high, you can sail through. REmember, your body is geared up to do this - and every person in the hugest football crowd you have ever seen on TV is the result of a birth from a woman just like you.

your vagina is a muscle - designed to work hard. Muscles have amazing power - barring very rare eventualities (although that is what you hear about) you will be fine within a couple of weeks of the birth, especially if you do kegel excercises. In fact do those several times a day from now on - despite all the jokes and comments about the advantages of a CS it is actually pg that outs most strain on your pelvic floor.

Many of the jokes you hear are mysoginistic claptrap emanating from our fear of birth and women's bodies - or, as on this thread, relaxed and jokey because people know that, unless you are one of the unlucky few, it's really all all right in the end!

Good luck!

[Blu]

sorry - I absolutely don't mean to imply that if you don't roam around breathing and mobile that you have not been succesful - it is enirely possible for you to make a choice to ask for an epidural at any stage: Your choice, your decision, your control!

[GLAMpresentsforMAMAplease]

Gangle, please don't think I'm belittling your fears. I am so worried about sustaining injuries with this birth that I have been seriously considering an elective. And, I suffered no tearing, cutting or stitching with DD. I think we just have to take note of the wise women on here and if I can fit in a joke about having a fanjo like a wizard's sleeve, I feel a little bit better. My humour might not be to everyone's taste so I apologise if I came across as uncaring.
(Btw, my labia always were somewhat generous, childbirth made no difference!!!)

[camillathechicken]

what a great post blu !

[morningpaper]

It is also largely luck of the drawer - my body was fine (in comparison) after flat-on-my-back birth and episiotomy with no.1 but completely ripped to shreds and knackered with au natrel no-drug waterbirth with no. 2.

It's Russian Roulette with fanjos

[morningpaper]

draw even

[dolly1]

Hi Gangle
I'm nearly 23 weeks too and have all the same worries - it's perfectly normal.
I've told by midwives/mates/books that half the battle with being left as you were before is avoid tearing and being cut in the first place.
So this is what I am doing - just my opionion but have been reassured that this is the way to go.
Avoid an epidural if you can. If you loose all sensation you won't know when push, not to push and if you are tearing. Stats show that you are far more likely to be cut/tear if you have one.
It's going to hurt but we can do it!
Also have you considered hypnobirthing? Meant to be a great way of having a natural birth without epidural. I'm doing in on the advice of a good friend who raved about it. Rather than me trying to explain it why don't you get on the hypnobirthing website and have a look - google it and you'll find it easily.
Of course there will be situations where the birth is out of our hands but I think it is a lot more within our control than we are lead to believe. Much as I'm nervous I am also really looking forward to it if that doesn't sound mad!
Lastly have you considered hiring an independent midwife or a doula? Again stats show that having really good, informed support during labour increases your chances or not needing drugs or intervent - i.e. forceps which can lead to tearing or being cut.
If you are going NHS there is a good chance (and this is not to scare you but to help you consider your options) that you will be left alone a lot of the time simply because the midwives are understaffed and overstretched. You may not get the care you would ideally like - sad fact but so often true.
If you went privately or hired a doula for example, you would get one to one care and someone with you every step of the way.
There are loads of people on here who have hired doulas etc and lots of doulas, midwifes who can advise you.
This would maybe give you more piece of mind and would statisically massively reduce your chances of being left in a state afterwards.
Hope that helps and that it wasn't too long and rambling!