In your opinion: What makes a good midwife?

[meggles]

interested in hearing people's opinions as i'm in the midst of applying for midwifery programmes. thanks!

[pyjamagirl]

Someone who listens and dosen't make you feel stupid

[lispy]

I had such a nice midwife even though I ended up with a c section I was planning number 2 before leaving the hospital. She was soo kind, patient, thoughtful and came to visit me in the ward before she finished work the next day. She then filled us with confidence by telling us what wonderful parents we would be and what a lucky baby. I think she remembered that although she had been to thousands of births, this was our first so always asked if we had any questions etc and sit with me. I think midwifes have such a wonderful/privileged job. Good luck. I do remember her telling me that it's not always nice seeing who the baby goes home with so there is a downside.

[goingfor3christmaspuddings]

Someone who works with you but takes over very quickly if an emergency arrises.

[morningpaper]

someone who is nice

someone who finds out that the MOTHER wants from her birth - had a bloody hippy spouting drivel when I might have wanted a medicalised birth, thanks

someone who does NOT slag off Doctors or see them as 'the other side' - they save lives for what it's worth

someone who gives you INFORMED CHOICE

[NoNameToday]

Lots of variables involved, I think a good midwife is one who does the very best she can for the woman she is caring for at that particular moment.

There are so many different needs to be met.

You could have a fantastic midwife caring for you antenatally who would not necessarily be the one you would choose to care for you in labour!

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

Pyjamagirl is right; also someone who is competent and well organised and fills you with confidence. Empathy is important but not enough on its own - they must be scientifically competent as well.
They must be aware of the politics of birth but not overly politicised or trying to push their own agenda on you.

[purpleflower]

Some one who cares enough to ask this question.

[purpleflower]

Aswell as what everyone else has said.

[monkeybutler]

My community midwife delivery both my babies (now 4 and 3. I tried really hard to bf the first but didnt get on too well, she never made me feel a failure. When had DC2 17 months later she explained that itwould be hard to bf him with another baby to look after, she tld me that I should ct myself some slack, I didnt have to make all DC1 fod myself, get a few tins in and get sme SMA white for the DC2 at night. Consequently I was chilled out enough to manage 6 months bf with DC2. I still see her qite often at the surgery and she always talks to us like I am her only customer!. Lovely woman, also she knows how to be bossy wen she has to be!

[Rosetip]

couldn't put it better myself morningpaper

meggles, if you are asking this question in the first place you probably have all the right characteristics to be a good midwife

[ib]

Someone who is respectful of what you want, who doesn't have a 'set' way of doing things but tailors them to the situation.

[Snaf]

Kindness, knowledge, passion, assertiveness, flexibility, focus - and the ability to go 12 hours without a wee or a cup of tea.

[NoNameToday]

Snaf, you missed out the ability to move.walk and act very quickly without appearing concerned.

[Columbia]

Someone who knows exactly what they are doing. I didn't like mine at all when iI saw her at the birth centre 3 weeks before my due date, and thought I was in labour. I found her patronising and disapproving - particularly as she was against my having a home birth. But when it was her on call the day I had my homebirth, once she arrived she was nothing but professional - and calm, calm, calm, despite me having a PPH and nearly bleeding to death.
I panicked but she didn't. It was worth any number of machines or monitors or Drs on standby. I knew I could trust her.

Turned out she had had four children, all at home

So I got the right one.

[Camillathechicken]

this is good as i have the opportunity to speak at a midwifery conference next year about what women want from midwives

[Columbia]

Ooh Lulu we will give you some ideas then. Exciting opportunity!

[frostythesnowmum]

Someone who has actually had at least one child and preferably suffered with morning sickness Seriously though for them to have true empathy I do think personal experience is a must. Which is why I am totally against male midwives but then thats another discussion

[frostythesnowmum]

Forgot to mention they have to of bf as well - the crock of shit I was fed by the inexperienced was unbelieveable!

[Columbia]

Frosty love did you have any luck with referral? How are you doing today? x

[Columbia]

Meggles, are you Megglevache?

[Camillathechicken]

yes, i am also going to be talking about my own birth experiences

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkk!!

not quite sure how i get myself into these situations...

to answer the question:

a MW who supports me and my birth preferences, and does not expect me to give birth in the way she would like me to.

to treat each labouring woman like an individual

to realise the impact of what she does and says in labour

for both my births i was the recipient of excellent & respectful care at all times.

[talktothebees]

thing I appreciated most - showing some respect for my body during examinations. You don't necessarily lose all modesty the minute you become pregnant.

thing that most made me spit and swivel my head - any sentence that began "You'll have to". Especially when I checked and some of the things I was being told I had to do were against current NICE guidelines. Grrrrrr.

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

Oh no, they definitely don't have to have had a baby, just be sensitive about it.
God save us from the ones who had 4 easy peasy labours themselves and are convinced they know exactly what you are going through (when you're 30 hours into an agonizing posterior labour) and there's no need for you to be making such a fuss.

[frostythesnowmum]

Hi columbia I have not gone back I spoke with a good friend whose dh is a gp and they agreed the 2 week wait was not unreasonable as there is a chance it might be pg related - the lump under my armpit is soft and moveable so likely a gland. However everytime I feel I find something else to worry about The other problem is that my gp only works partime and isn't available till next week anyway. My appt is the 12th although maybe if I get too stressed I will go back before.

[Columbia]

Ah that's good to hear, well done, you are handling it well. Hopefully it is all just preggo stuff, it does such weird things to you! Let us know how you get on won't you x Glad you're feeling a bit better.