Have any of you NOT had more children because you can't bear to go through birth again?

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

The birth of my DD was beyond my wildest dreams and yet I still found it uncomfortable and remember thinking god I feel miserable. Having said that, I didn't use any pain relief and I didn't tear or anything. I can only take my hat off to all you ladies that do so marvellously in terms of days of labour, difficult postitions etc etc.

Now PG again and I'm starting to get my knickers in a knot about not coping with the birth and that as the first one was the best I could ever have hoped for, it can only be down hill from now on etc.

Have any of you NOT had more children because you can't bear to go through birth again??

Oh please knock some sense in to me!!!

[TrinityRhino]

you will be fine

I must say I was panicking a little when dd3 was due because dd2 was with only gas and air and I remmebr thinking 'I cannot do this', I felt like I was losing my mind with the pain but it wouldn't stop me doing it again.

[beautifuldays]

i am never having any more children, partly because there is no way i am going through the birth again. i had a horriffic birth with my ds and then had an elective section with my dd, which i was in agony with afterwards. i think i have a really low pain threshold - they gave me IM morphine 2 hourly and it didn't make any difference...... there is no way i am doing it either way ever again!!!

however YOU will be fine, esp if you coped without pain relief for your first, second births are generally quicker and easier

[Camillathechicken]

thread about birth trauma

sometimes a subsequent pregnancy is more nerve wracking because you know what is going to happen....

a doula might be of benefit to support you before, during and after the birth.

in the meantime, MN will help you !

second births are on the whole , quite wonderful!

[FozzieKbear]

I wasn't going to have another but fate had other plans for me! I had an elective c-section though that time and it was a serene calm experience and my recovery physically and mentally took no time at all compared to the first time (which we won't dwell on because the experience is shut in a box and locked in the attic forever, never to be discussed)!

[VirginiaWoolf]

For a while I really thought that I didn't want to have any more DC after DD, because I found the whole birth thing shocking, frankly - I can remember being in the delievery room thinking to myself that scientists had put men (!) on the moon yet 'this' was what women had to go through when giving birth.
However.
I changed my mind in the end, felt very stressed about the impending birth throughout the second pg, overdosed on gruesome birth stories on MN during the 9 days that DS was late...... and I can honestly say that his birth was fab, a completely different experience in every way. Yes, it still hurt, but I can't describe just how completely different it was. A hugely positive experience, and the most extreme 'high' I've ever experienced when he was born.
Try to stay calm, and just let your body get on with it.

[newgirl]

not a big fan of birth myself but i think it is only one really weird day (or even an hour or two if lucky!) in your life and the results are worth it!

[inthegutter]

If you managed a first birth with no pain relief then you've done incredibly well. Subsequent births are statistically likely to be quicker and will probably be less painful as your body has done it before. I think it's normal to get anxious when you think about your next birth, but I'm sure things will go smoothly for you.

[Elasticwoman]

OP - Just because you had a normal birth without pain relief, doesn't mean it wasn't a big deal. Do you remember the relief, and the high when the baby was finally out? But in my experience, the first birth is more frightening than subsequent ones. I recommend the use of a TENS machine - you sound like a good candidate for it. It makes the contractions more bearable but doesn't take them away. I borrowed mine from the local gp's surgery, but you can also hire them privately. You need to attach the machine at the first twinge and then it is good until Transition stage. After that i was in the birthing pool. Have you considered a waterbirth? For me it meant 10 lb 6 oz baby, no stitches! Will I ever stop bragging about that? Probably not ....

[Spidermama]

I've had four 'natural' births with no pain relief and every time I say to myself 'This is too sore. I will never do this again.'

You could well find your second time easier, and quicker than the first. Many do.

[moocowme]

i am never having another one. even and ECS under GA was tooo much for me.

have you considered doing a hypnobirthing course. lots of people at my local baby group rave about them.

[WideWebWitch]

Yep. I have 2 and would absolutely gladly have another last one if I didn't have to do pregnancy and childbirth again. Since having another baby involves both we're not going to. But hey, I did it a second time and it was worse than the first time so that prob didn't help (diff husbands, bigger baby second time, prob would be 3rd time too as same husbsnd)

[WideWebWitch]

But it DIDN'T stop me having a second. I'm glad I did. Cacked it the whole time (rightly as it turned out) but I'm glad I did. Sorry, am prob not helping

[Twinklemegan]

I'm still wavering - I think I'd like another one until I think about going through the whole pregnancy and birth thing again. There are threads on here from me whinging about DS's birth - it wasn't pleasant.

Anyway it's all rather academic at the moment as we can't afford another one in any case. But if only the stork story was true...

[Elasticwoman]

Www - bigger baby does not necessarily mean worse birth experience (see my post of Fri 21.29

[hayCHingleBells]

Its not the birth that puts me off anymore, its the pregnancy! I hated it, both times and dp hated living with me, i was just cross for the entire 9months!

[DrBunsentheHarpsichordCarrier]

I think hypnobirthing is a very good suggestion
it can have amazing results

[ernest]

I'm having an elective cesaerian this time cos there's NO WAY I'm doing it again. 1st was emergency section, 2nd was vbac, tore badly, 3rd was also 'natural' and tore really really really badly. I doubt they'd be able to put me back together again if I did it again. NO WAY: section here I come.

but you didn't tear. OK, It's not a great fun day out, but it is only 1 day (if you're lucky ha ha).

[DrSpeckschwarteSurprise]

I have 2 DCs and am glad that I had DD first, I don't think I would have gone on to have a second otherwise.

DD was a long but wonderful birth, I was walking on air for weeks afterwards.

DS was, due to medical incompetance, a nightmare. I am pretty sure that I would have had a reasonable birth otherwise.

I suffered from nausea throughtout the first 4 months of both pregancies so that is a deciding factor too.

Tbh, if I really wanted another child, I would find a way to get through it, perhaps with councelling about the birth of DS. I had a scare a month or so ago when I thought I might be pregnant and I was not so panicked as I thought I might be.

[totaleclipse]

I was sterilised aftwer having dts, decided there was not a cat in hells chance I was doing that again, they came 7 weeks early, dt1 was a natural birth, then it all went horribly wrong, dt2 was born by emergency c section just 12 minutes later, and to my absolute horror my epidural wore off suddenly half way through the procedure, just after dt2 was delivered, I vaguly remember the panick that she was'nt breathing, but I was screaming in agony and had to be given a general anesthetic, so I was put to sleep not knowing if dt2 was ok

[Rosylily]

I find that by the time I get to the end of pregnancy, I am busting to meet my baby and be unpregnant. I'm always overdue so can't wait for labour to start. I welcome my contractions and will them to get stronger wanting to get it over with! Breathing through them...used gas and air last time which was great. I enjoyed my labour it was exciting and totally bearable til the last difficult bit. The last bit was sore and shocking but overwith quickly.
I've done it four times. I'm glad I have -it's worth it and also glad I've finished now!

[berolina]

Had a long-drawn-out birth with masses of intervention with ds1, culminating in ventouse and episiotomy. ds2 was quick, no pain relief, cord-round-neck situation right at end, ventouse, tear. ds2 was a lot better than ds1, mainly because I was 9cm before I actually realised this was it (he was born half an hour after arriving at hospital) - with ds1 I'd struggled and laboured for 2 days to get to 3cm. And despite the pain (I was screaming 'I can't do it', and in the next breath 'ignore me, it'll be OK' ), the feeling of the head coming was like nothing on earth (again, didn't have it with ds1, epidural).

Even a non-ideal birth can be good, I promise. I was in utter shock afterwards but felt so proud. We do want no. 3 (not for a good few years yet, though), and I will want to plan and aim for a really positive birth experience.

[frostythesnowmum]

Nightmare pregnancy and delivery with no.1 but some how I forgot and having the same nightmare with no.2 I'm just coming up 12 weeks pg and this is definately the last no matter what. Infact I'm not gonna have sex again unless dh gets a vasectomy Regardless of labour i can't do this pg lark again.xc

[BadZelda]

Maybe it's just me - but I've found a kind of amnesia kicks in that stops me remembering the fine detail of my two births. (OK, maybe that's using marijuana for pain relief)

My first was at hospital - though I did most of the labour on the mean streets of south london as the MW's kept saying I sounded too calm to be in established labour. When I finally got to hospital they said I was already fully dilated, and also because it was so late I wasn't allowed to use the birth centre...or any pain relief, but TBH I was past that by then anyway...DD1 was born half an hour later.

Second birth was at home, and again pretty quick - 12 minutes after the midwife arrived. Again no pain relief as they hadn't actually brought ANY G&A ...but it was a much more positive experience, and I was up and able to go for a nice walk in the park the next day.

I think birth 1 definitely put me off ever having a hospital birth again - but not off having any more children. Having said that, not going for number 3, mainly because I don't think we could afford it, and I don't know if I'd cope with 3 children. Have 2 lovely little girls and that's enough for me.

[Mags143]

Starting to think about having baby no2. DD was quick to arrive and only had gas and air (cant believe i did that, as somedays even my hair hurts. Thats how low MY pain threshold is!) but i tore really badly. They then spent ages trying to get a line in my hand as they thought they'd have to take me to theatre to stitch me cos they weren't sure the tear wasn't through to my bowel. (yuck i know). Thankfully, a doctor managed to stitch me, but while all this was going on, my DH was having some lovely skin to skin contact with DD, and it was almost two hours before i was able to BF. Just worried that i'll tear again, and also (thanks to this site)starting to feel human again. Worried PND may return. DD is a joy though, and the thought of a wee baby. Aaww
Also whats the best age gap between siblings??

[Twinklemegan]

BadZelda - I was told by someone that we're designed to forget, which must true or I can't understand why anyone would have more than one. I think in my case that particular gene isn't working as I can still remember the entire thing in minute detail (16 months on).