Calling all intervention-free delivery mums!

[feedmenow]

I am expecting my third LO in March and am aiming for a VBA2C.

In order to increase my chances of success, I am trying to either get over or come to terms with and accept any worries I may have.

For some reason, one of my biggest worries seems to be that of having very different (internal & external) genitals after a vaginal birth.

What I am after on this thread is some info on whether you are still aware of differences some time after the birth. I expect, of course, that there will be differences for some weeks after birth, but does your body ever go back to "normal"? And if it doesn't, how far from "normal" is it? Has it made anyone out there really unhappy? Does anyone feel so strongly that they wish they'd had a c-section instead?

Any info very much appreciated please!

[Flame]

With the exception of being bruised n swollen after the birth for a few weeks, I haven't noticed any difference, DH has never mentioned any difference.

[CarGirl]

DH has noticed the difference internally. Externally no difference that I'm aware of and I took loads & loads of arnica before & during the last 2 labours so there wasn't any swelling/bruising afterwards at all.

[MrsBadger]

ditto Flame

[belgo]

My dh has never noticed any difference. You have to do your pelvic floor exercises though every day, several times a day in fact. that goes for all of us, however we give birth.

[MrsBadger]

(except I asked dh, who denied any difference - think the single stitch I ended up with may have ensured continued, er, snugness)

[NappiesLaChristmasGit]

er, ive not noticed any difference. is all a-ok as far as im concerned.

i had a friend who said her dp was going to arranger her a c-section 2 weeks early so she 'didnt go slack' or get too many stretch marks from the last few weeks of growing. said thats what 'they all do in america'.
thought that was unutterably sad on so many levels. what a git.

good tip re the arnica btw.

[LadySanders]

just out of interest, i am hoping for a vbac in jan, was recommended some v good hypnobirthing cds (www.natalhypnotherapy.com) called 'preparation for vbac', its a 2 disc set, 1st for use up to 32 weeks is all about letting go of all your fears, whatever they are (in my case less about the c section than about what happens afterwards - me and ds1 had terrible time in hospital - hence why i'm suggesting it, as realise your fears may not be waht you'd consider the majority ones). i was skeptical but have found it really beneficial as it sort of leads you down whatever path you need to go down to deal with your past c section and fears for next birth. think it was about 20 quid which didn't seem unreasonable.

[Flame]

I had all the arnica in the world - was still bloody sore after

[NappiesLaChristmasGit]

i hav eot admit that, for me, looking at my fanwah with a mirror pretty much straight after was, in retrospect, not a good idea. was really just swollen and red, but combined with hormones and pnd, it put me off sex for about 9 months, which was a strain in itself.

so i reckon if youre at all quesy about that sort of thing (i didnt think i was at all) then dont look.
then again, some people may prefer the real sight to their imagination... horses for courses an all that.

there is tho, sincerely, no diminished capabilities down there now and i gave birth thrice in less than 3 years and the last was 22m ago.

[lulumama]

no difference at all, had a labial graze and a couple if internal stitches, perineum intact, all fine , had a look a couple of weeks after and it looked normal to me. DH says all is fine too !

[lulumama]

BTW, you are doing the right thing to address your all fears and worries before the birth. really good thing to do.
of course, you will hear from women who have had terrible tearing, and have had ongoing problems, i do not wish to diminish that at all, but it is not that common. a good awarenss of the physiology of labour and a controlled delivery can all help avoid tearing..congratulations on your pregnancy

[lucykate]

no difference really, i had grazes with dd and there is some scaring inside but it doesn't cause any trouble

[ernest]

well I won't go on too much, it depends if you want to hear just encouaging, positive stories,which is absolutely fine and understandable, or if you want to here a variety of experiences?

[Prunie]

I am going to be really frank. I had a very straightforward birth, a tear that needed suturing, and wasn't pleasant but nothing serious in that regard.
I notice a difference in terms of, erm, strength of musculature internally. Everything's still ok, and it doesn't make any difference to our sex life, DH claims not to notice it (I believe him, actually), but I know things are not precisely the same as before the birth. Not worse, but a little bit different, yes.
I also bruised a lot after the birth but once that was gone, well certainly externally things are just the same.

[ibroughtcake]

2 dc here, stithes with the first, nothing for the second. I would say that I can notice a difference but DP swears he can't. I don't mean it is worse by the way just feels different. I have had a look and it still all looks the same.

Good luck

[morningpaper]

well I'm all inside out

I've been advised that if I ever get pregnant again I should have a section

And I wish I'd had a section for my last

Then again, maybe a section would go horribly wrong and chop my bladder to pieces and I'll regret THAT?

You don't know what that pros and cons are until AFTER the event - it's a roll of the dice either way!

[morningpaper]

Imagine a nicely decorated lounge

Then a massive earthquake

Then the same lounge

that's my genitals

[Flame]

You paint a vivid picture MP!

I asked DH - he says no change

[RubySlippers]

soft furnishings and fanjos analogy - could only be Mumsnet

i just have the one DS - intervention free delivery - amazing experience until they stitched me when i remember wishing fervently that i had a c-section (for the few mins they were stitching me) but i think that it was just such a shock ... had thought lots about the birth but not anything else IYSWIM

i tore (2nd degree) and i did feel sore for around 6 - 8 weeks but arnica and lots of lavender baths helped

everything seems to be ok now

[policywonk]

Flame... would there not be pieces of shredded testicle all over the floor if he had said 'yes' (or are you not as vengeful as me?)

Externally no difference, but I don't think I could honestly say that I am quite as tight internally as I was. Mind you, I never do my pelvic floor exercises, so it's probably down to that. No stress incontinence though (which I reckon would probably get me exercising away very swiftly). And certainly no complaints from DP, who is not a stupid man...

[notnowbernard]

Have had 2 vaginal deliveries. Both in water. 2nd degree tear both times. No problems re stitches. It did take about 8m for sex (penetration) to feel completely 'back to normal' both times, but even then wasn't really painful or anything, just uncomfortable.

Good luck

[Flamesparrow]

pmsl - he isn't awake enough to have thought through the concept of shredding testicles. He looked really confused as to why I was asking, asked how he would know (that was a interesting conversations), then said no, and asked if it should be different.

When he asked why, I asked why he thought - he guessed right

He preferred the zombie plan questioning it seems

[policywonk]

OK, following Flame's method, I will wake DP at 3 in the morning, shine torch in his eyes, scream 'HOW TIGHT AM I NOW COMPARED WITH HOW TIGHT I WAS BEFORE THE KIDS?' and report back tomorrow, shall I?

[Flamesparrow]

Sounds good! Take photos of his face too

[morningpaper]

What is he says "It's like throwing a sausage down Oxford Street" ?