NEW MUMS TO BE READ THIS- labour isn't always terrible

[Minkus]

Well that's a bit of a lie but what I meant is that just because it's terrible desn't mean that it's not positive, if that makes sense.

Yes it bloody hurts like nothing before. BUT- you can do it. It's what your body is made for and it won't hurt forever. My ds was born 1 week early, waters broke at home at 11pm contractions started at midnight, we were in the hospital by 02:30 and he was born at 03:18. Used my tens machine from the start of contractions and had 10 mins of gas and air in hospital (they took it away as it was making me too comfortable to push, grrr the evil evil things )

And I felt really "able" all the way through. There was not one point when I though that I wasn't going to be able to do it, as basic an experience as labour is (lots of pain, primeval animal noises etc!) YOU CAN DO IT

This isn't a thread to boast about a "brilliant" birth experience, more to share a secret- that even if it's a bit scary and painful not all births are traumatic for the mums involved and you won't necessarily be left still telling your sorry tale to all and sundry when your children are at primary school. Not to say of course that some mums don't have a traumatic time because of course there is the flip side too.

Any more positive birth experiences to be shared out there?

Good luck new mums
xxxx

[bohemianbint]

Great idea Minkus, it's rubbish how people are desperate to share gore stories with the uninitiated!

I had a fab first birth too, at home with just gas and air and the whole thing took four hours from start to finish. Really enjoyed it, want to do it again!

[StealthPolarBear]

Yes, me too. I was trying to explain this to DH yesterday. I recently had an infected appendix, they asked me to rate the pain on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being my worst contraction. The pain was a 5. Even so, I would go through labour 10 times rather than my appendix thing simply because I knew why it was hurting, and I felt in control (that's completely leaving out the fact you get a baby at the end). I also knew it would stop.
I was lucky as I had a straightforward birth, I know I probably wouldn't be saying this if there had been complications. But I was dreading it, yet I look back on it as a wonderful day (agai, not just the bit after the baby was born) because I was doing it and managing, with help from DH.
Second the TENS as well, I'm sure this had a lot to do with feeling 'in control', I felt naked without it when we got to the hospital, but fine as soon as I had G&A, again, it was to do with me being in control and able to do something. It was all in my head as I only had about 3 goes on the G&A before they took it away from me

[PrettyCandles]

And even if the birth didn't go quite the way you wanted/planned/expected it to, it can still be a fantastic experience.

The moment I held my baby, I felt I could dance, fly, do it all over again! I felt like such a winner, such a success, like I had gained the ultimate qualification as a woman. Wow it was fantastic, and how I got to that point was, at that moment, quite irrelevant.

I can't say I actually enjoyed any of my labours, I was too busy giving birth. But, afterwards, it really hits you what an amazing thing you've just done.

[TwinklylightAttendant]

I will watch this thread, had two births so far, very different - the first was sooo easy, epidural, etc. and I was quite happy to do it again - the second I was scared witless and had no pain relief, and didn't want to do it again!! So it can be easy, can be scary - but I think I panicked a lot which made it worse the second time. I'm trying to find a way of managing it next time so I enjoy it without being terrified! but I know it can be done...

[StealthPolarBear]

Good point PrettyCandles.
I think a lot of the time the message is "don't worry you'll forget the nasty labour as soon as you have your baby", but in actual fact I wouldn't want to forget.

[zuzkah]

Lovely story, just what I need to hear. Thanks! Im due this Fri and cant wait. I only hope my labour is going to be as easy as yours girls. My TENS is ready to use and I think Im looking forward to using it. Im sure its something to do with 'being in control' and have a back up if breathing and visualisation at home is not going to be enough. Thanx again!

[StealthPolarBear]

Ooh are you having a boy or a girl?
Is the baby engaged yet?

[zuzkah]

StealthPolarBear - Its a boy...apparently. He is in the right position head down back to tummy, I thing MW said engaged 2/5? Not so sure what that means.

[StealthPolarBear]

no, I never really understood the engaged thing, but it sounds good! I'll look out for a birth announcement from you and your little boy

[PrettyCandles]

Engaged means head inside the pelvis, ready to pass through the cervix once it is dilated. Not strictly significant until you're in labour, but an indication that the baby and your body are moving along nicely, getting ready for labour.

Hope it goes well for you .

[zuzkah]

Thanks for explanation and wishes girls

[claraenglish]

Message withdrawn

[EffiePerine]

Another vote for TENS - and I didn't even get to try the G&A either . Yes, you get through it and you're amazed afterwards at how you managed! I also had a quikc labout and it wsa my first (2nd stage under an hour) so don't believe all the stuff about first babies taking days to arrive either

[Minkus]

Tee hee zuzkah didn't mean to imply that labour was easy - soz to mislead you

[WriggleJiggle]

My first labour was horrible. My second was fantastic (and even enjoyable ).
There was no difference between the baby's position (both were the wrong way round), the amount of pain was the same each time.
The only reason for the second one being so good was my change in attitude towards it. I felt confident in myself, felt in control and had really calm and caring midwives who treated me as a person.
People talk about childbirth as being realy painful. It was painful, but it was a different type of pain than I have experienced before, and because I knew it meant things were progressing, it was quite bearable.

[LilianGish]

Loved giving birth both times - the best two days of my life. Not at all what I would have chosen if I'd been able to have a birth plan (gave birth in France - they don't really go in for that sort of thing), flat on my back, epidural, but so fantastic in the end that I wouldn't have had it any other way. Wish I'd looked forward to it a bit more when I was pregnant - too busy listening to the horror stories!

[StealthPolarBear]

WriggleJiggle, I didn't believe people when they talked about it being a 'different type' of pain, but I completely know what they mean now.

[zuzkah]

Minkus - Ok, not easy, but it sounds pretty quick to me. This is what my DP is expecting ... to be honest he thinks it's gonna be even quicker poor guy .... although it would be nice not to disappoint him, lol. Btw congratulation!
And to the other ladies - thanks for lovely stories. Last one I've heard was that the labour took 2 and a half days. Exhausting just to listen to it. Positive thinking it is for me! So lets the great stories keep coming!

[noodleh63]

Lilian, I wish I had looked forward to it a more when I was pregnant.

I spent 9 months listening to horror stories that everyone wants to tell you but really it was ok. I wouldn't want to give birth every day and yes it hurts, but it is a great feeling. I felt like I was in control and as if this is what I was designed to do (if that makes any sense!)

[StealthPolarBear]

I did loads of research, which is good but it leaves you assuming you will have complications (same goes for breastfeeding)

[ManchesterMummy]

Hooray for positive birth stories I say!

When I was pregnant people revelled in telling me how awful it was going to be, how terrible I'd find it etc etc etc. And you know what? It was fine. Yes it hurts, and I know some people have a terrible time, but on balance, it was a really good experience, primarily because at the end of it all was my DD.

Granted, I don't want to do it again in a hurry - mostly because I really didn't enjoy being pregnant - but it was such an empowering experience that I don't fear going through it all again.

Good luck to everyone who's due to give birth - remember at the end of it all there's a baby - hold onto that!

[MrsSlocomb]

People don't realise, sadly, that a huge part of giving birth is about what is going on in your head.

[ib]

I did enjoy giving birth, it was an amazing experience and I'd look forward to doing it again.

Unfortunately I can't say the same about pregnancy....

[Twitmonster]

I have always said how awful it is that those have have given birth choose to scare new mums.

I had four positive births, including two home births and agree that alot of it is all down to how you as an individual deal with it.

[laurajo]

Minkus thanks so much for starting this thread! Am first timer due in 3 wks n its great to read something that doesn't make me break out in a cold sweat