Just been refused a homebirth- really annoyed, what are my rights etc?

[PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs]

A little abckground:

ds1 was a bad birth ir ecognise, eclampsia and IUGR but I have since gone on to have 2 perfectly normal deliveries, both in MW led units and both as smooth as possible. Someret had no problem with me registering for MW led care as longa s (with ds2) I changed if there was a problem; with ds3 we had a homebirth booked and that was only cancelled due to electrivity cuts in my village!

This hospital however (newport) are saying that not only can I noy ahev a homebirth, I can't even have MW led care and I have to see the consultant every fortnight from 20 weeks.

I am not old- 34.

This presents me with huge problmes as two of my boys have ASD, and we have no family close by so if I went into labour and had to transfer to hospital quickly (being a 4th baby and Dh working away from here so often it can take 901 minutes for him to be tracked down and return) Ic ouldn't just pass the boys to a randomneighboyur, they would have to go into Social Services care, None of the boys hae had contact with SS, bar one disability assessment a few years back- ds3 isn't even on their books. Also, the respite care team are unlikely to be here very quickly, so if labour progresses quicklya s with ds3 (about an hour from being certain I was in labour to admission at 5cm dilated) they'd be unlikely to find a carer able to take 3 children, and I would most likely end up having an unplanned homebirth, which has to be more risky than a planned one surely?

I have beensummoned to a meeting with a Consultant soon, but have been ordered in no uncertain terms that I have to do what I am told!! I don't, do I?

Clearly if there's a medical reason to go into hospital I would immediately go, and with DS1 I had notice of every admission and then could arrange for Mum to come up on the train, or Dh to make the 2 hour return journey down there (family dont drive). If an emergency arose during albour Dh would have ahd a substantially longer chance toa rrive ehre and I would have to go in alone- actually something I dread as my first birth involved them nearly killing mea nd ds1, but hey ho .

Another 'minor' issue for me is that I ahve a severe casein (in milk) reaction that led to the hospitals before not feeding me when I was in, for ds3 he was born at 3am and it was 1pm before they could provide anyting to eat other than milky cereal.

Advice please? every site I read says they can't make me go in, but the MW says they can and will.

[PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs]

Oha nd the MW denied I ahd a third Child 9like I think i know) and when asking where I delievered ds1 and ds3, argued that in afct it was in london not Somerset.... I have spent a grand total of 3 days in London EVER fgs!

[franke]

Sounds like there are some seriously crossed wires where you mw is concerned. I can't help, but bumping for you. v for you.

[scattyspice]

Surely you'd still need childcare for a homebirth.

[littleducks]

Wouldnt you be better seeing another midwife and starting again, this one sounds a tad loopy! Could you contact the head of midwifery and have a chat?

[herbiemom]

Hi Peachy,

Your post is shocking. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. It's your body and your baby and if you want to have your baby at home it is your right to do so.

They cannot 'summon' you to a meeting with the consultant and they cannot 'order' you to do as you're told.

Have you been given any reasons why you 'cannot' have a homebirth?

[PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs]

I wouldn't need childcare for an overnigt labour, and I have a friend who can come if its a day labour- but as her DH works nights she wouldn't be able to make the drive up from Somerset with her kids to take mine to mums as she couldn't fit them all in her car. Plus if things go smoothly am quite happy for the bys to sleep upstairs tbh.

My MW and the GP said would be fine but this one just said was against their policy- when I have had 2 successful MW led deliveries it amkes no sense!


Everyt ime I have been in this hospital I ahev come out having been told a child is disabled: I ahte the place! If it woudl save my life thats one thing but I really dont want to be there otherwise.

[NineUnlikelyTales]

Peachy
Of course no one* can order you anywhere or make you do anything. I would ask to speak to the most senior MW about what your crazed MW has told you. It is appalling.

homebirth uk is the site you need. I'm sure you have already checked it out but it is a very useful site and has a section about your rights if you are 'refused' a home birth.

Poor you, this is just what you don't need.

[toomanyballs]

Someone will probably tell me I'm wrong but I believe that they don't have to supply your care if you want a homebirth but you are still able to get a pivate midwife and have a home birth.

Obviously they can't make you go to hospital if you don't want to.

I'm all for home birth, by the way. I just know someone this happened to, a few years ago though.

[ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween]

You do need childcare for a homebirth, overnight or not, in case you have to transfer - your DH would need to stay at home otherwise.

I was told with BabyDragon that I couldn't have a HB because DS1 was 10lb 1oz. I had to convince/agree with the consultant that it was OK. I got my HB.

They can't make you go in. However, you would run the risk of having no MW I suppose. There is always the scenario that one is not available for a HB anyway.

[doggiesayswoof]

I don't have much personal experience of battling the NHS, but if this is all based on one meeting with a mw who does sound a bit unreliable to put it mildly, I think trying to meet someone else and/or putting your case in writing to head of mw or whatever would be a good bet.

Maybe when you have your meeting with the consultant he/she will be telling a different story?

It sounds like a waste of resources to have to see a consultant (or in reality prob one of the 'team') every 2 weeks. I'm on my 2nd preg and due to see mw clinic at 18wks, 26wks, 32wks and then every 2 weeks after that.

Have to say though that generally the right to a home birth seems to be postcode lottery issue. If the Trust are not well enough resourced/managed to provide this, I think they can refuse.

[ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween]

It may be that the MW means you fall outside their rules for automatically booking a HB. This is what they said to me with BabyDragon - she was happy for me to have one but could not automatically grant one because DS1 was too big, hence the consultant. If another MW has said it#s fine then it could be a communication problem and this other one is a JObsworth.

[franke]

I think www.aims.org.uk/ is a good resource too.

[PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs]

Shes aid there was no way I woud get one at al

I realise Dh would ahev to stay at home in an emergency but thats all the option there is, i'd have to deal with that but only in an emergency, iyswim.

[Lulumama]

agree with everything else said

you could look at having a doula, who you could ask to be able to stay with the boys should you have to transfer, or help out with them if you deliver at home..

[PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs]

I did just email a doula Lulu- great minds! i think she would have to transfer with me as DS3 would be petrified of someone she didnt know, however there is no real reason to think there would be a problem- even DS1 delivered OK, just small- but it would mean I ahd someone there 'for me' if it were anigt delivery, and Dh would be able to go to the boys if they woke.

I will look at that yahoo group thans, I didnt bother before as my MW and the GP okayed the homebirth.

An Im sadly si out of our price range (i'm a student).

[tori32]

No they bloody well can't make you go in! First go through the official complaints procedure. Send a letter into the practice where your MW are based. State why you want a home birth. Also state why this is not a medical risk using some articles from the net and preferably from medical journals. If you have no joy I would ask your GP to refer you to a different group of MW's from a different trust. You can also phone any hospital switch board and ask to speak to the secretary of an obstetrician, book a private appt which costs about £70 for a second written opinion from another consultant. If he agrees that a homebirth is possible then it is worth taking the second opinion to the consultant when you see him, it may change his/her mind.

If you refuse point blank to go in then they cannot force you to and have a duty of care to provide you with the best care possible. Have they said why you can't have a HB?

[susie100]

Hi there,
I have only read OP and am sure you have had brilliant advice aleady but they CANNOT make you do anything. You can refuse consultant care from the outset no matter what your medical condition is. Please contact AIMS if you have not already done so as what the midwife has said is completely incorrect.
However I do appreciate that when you are pregnant and vulnerable it can be hard to fight all the way and you don't want to be resented by your health care providers! Can you hire a doula or even better an independent midwife? Many have a hardship if you can't afford it?
There seems no logical or medical reason for them to refuse you a homebirth.
Goodness this makes me so cross on your behalf.
By the way - I had some considerable opposition to my homebirth, I had to see a consultant to get his 'permission'. I thanked him for his 'advice' because that is all it is and let everybody know that when the time came, they would find me at home and I expected to be attended and would hold them responsible for if I was not attended in a timely manner. (I am not normally such an aggressive lady but the bullying that goes on really only can be countered with a bit of their own medicine)

[PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs]

My actual MW at the GP surgery sees no issue, its the one at the booking in antenatal clinic where I had my scan today who refused.

The only reason they ahve said no is policy. Somerset policy was OK to try MW led care after a problematic delivery (in ds2's case) and with ds3 there were no concerns at all, as I said I was booked for a homebirth. Here they just say they have a different policy. haven't had any issues with BP since ds1, same dad to abby, perfect pregnancies and deliveries indeed with the last two- its pure policy.

[edam]

Sounds like you have come up against one seriously deranged MW. Complain to the head of midwifery, copying in the trust chief exec. And make an appointment with another/get your GP to refer you to another.

[edam]

Policy schmolicy, healthcare staff have a professional and ethical duty to care for the person in front of them. I think power-crazy MWs and obs enjoy intimidating p/g women, tbh. Don't let her con you.

Can she quote the specific part of their policy? Bet she can't.

Unfortunately some trusts have realised that there is a legal loophole and they can refuse to send out a midwife to a labouring woman - they can insist on just telling you to call an ambulance and come in, I'm afraid. But make a big fuss, demand to see the policy the silly woman is worrying about, and you stand a good chance of them realising you won't be intimidated.

If the trust bosses back the midwife, then raise a big stink with local papers/ your MP and so on and see if you can embarrass them into backing down.

[NineUnlikelyTales]

I've just remembered that I had a rogue MW too in my pregnancy but it didn't make any difference to my overall care. She was the MW at my booking appointment who thankfully I never saw again. She insisted on booking me into the Foetal Growth Clinic because I was a tiny bit underweight according to BMI on booking...despite the fact that it is my normal size and my mum was a lot smaller than me when she had me and no one made a fuss. She put the fear of God into me saying that DS would be too small, etc.

The clinic actually refused to accept me in the end (as I found out when I phoned to tell them I wouldn't be going!) and DS came along quite healthily and was born 8lb 12oz. No other MW ever mentioned the weight thing again. There are some really odd MW/GP/consultants/whatever out there but it doesn't mean they are right or have the final say.

[PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs]

I spoke to my designated GP MW (her phone was off earlier) and she said she'd have to come out if I refused to go in- MW duty of care, and she can't undestand why I can't have a booked HB anyway. At least in know I can dig my heels in (good at that, all parents of Sn kids are LOL) and I won't be left to it! Still mightty pe'd off though- didn't need to be fighting for this, have had enough of that with the LEA etc for the boys.

Feel a bit stupid for bursting into tears on the phone to MW [bush] but thats mroe about the idea of leaving a non-verbal 4 year old with a developmental age of 2 and ASD in social services acre with somebody he doesn't know! That is So not happening!

Dh reckons he will deliver the baby and has offered to gbuild me atens unit with his soldering iron for pain relief (he offered that before)- er no! He's a good solderman but there ARE limits!

[susie100]

Well done, excellent result. Sounds like this midwife was a loon, I think you should report it though because if she does the same to someone less assertive or knowledgeable it would be very unfair!

[Lulumama]

great news peachy ! well done x