Scared!!!!

[2Young]

I am 14 weeks pregnant with my 2nd am going into a complete blind panic over the labour after having such a traumatic birt with my 1st. From start to finish i was in labour for 56hrs and ended up with a kiwi cap and an episotomy i lost so much blood it lleft me aneamic i am so worried i don't know how i am gonna get through it i konow it's abit early to worry about it but i thought if i coould put my mind to rest it would help me enjoy my pregnancy better!

[NotADragonOfSoup]

All labours/births are different. DS1 was a nightmare (ventouse, episiotomy, 3rd degree tear, knackered mother-to-be, 10lb OP baby...). DS2 was an 8 hours shorter labour, much shorter pushing stage and non-instrumental delivery. DD was a whole 16 hours shorter labour than DS1 and about 7 minutes pushing, at home in a pool.

I had hypnotherapy about 2 months before DS2's due date to help with relaxation and because I had no positive memories from DS1s labour.

There's an organisation called the birth trauma trust (or something, someone's bound to post a link later or you'll find it under childbirth in the Mumsnet Webguide) who may have some helpful info for you

[LunarSea]

ds1's birth was a bit like you describe - 53 hours end to end, ventouse and episiotomy. Was ds2's birth similar? Not at all - 30 minutes end to end, no pain relief, only 2 pushes and he was an unplanned home birth! Which just goes to show that what happened 1st time has absolutely no bearing on what will happen next time. HTH

[hertsnessex]

2young,

before you start thinking about your impending arrival - try to gain some closure on your first birth.

1/ get hold of your notes - and make an appt with the hospitals mw counsellor to go through them with you.

2/ take a look at: www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/

3/ talk to your gp - he may be able to get you extra mw appts this time round so you can discuss your birth plan thoroughly

4/ look into getting some extra support, try www.doula.org.uk

dont panic!

CX

[lulumama]

everything that has been said already is great advice

it is not too early to get yourself in the right frame of mind for birth

there is a lot you can do to make this experience more positive, and the most important thing is to come to terms with your first birth

herts has posted some excellent links, i certainly recommend all of those too !