baggy fanny - where's my perineum gone?

[angelgabriel]

I had my second child 14 months ago - she was big 9lb6oz, and I was sure I had torn but midwife said no - just a few grazes. Recently its been worrying me that I am very big - when I was pregnant with her I remember massaging my perineum and feeling a wad of muscle and skin which is nearly all gone now.

After my first I had a tear which was stiched and while I never felt quite the same after I was certainly tighter than now.

I am worried that it is affecting sex, and also sometimes tampons fall out.

Has anyone any experience of this?

[Klaw]

You'll need to do your Kegels like there's no tomorrow!

Do you have any issues with incontinence at all? I have a teeny leak after I get in the shower and was worried about this too. So I suggest you do what I did:

You should ask GP for a referral to clinic to get help with dealing with this. Better to get your pelvic floor sorted now, rather than wait a few more years and then have further problems.

I have benefitted greatly in the few sessions I have been to. Having a one to one with a trained clinician who helps to find where the muscles are lacking and gives you exercises and encuragement to start doing them.

HTH

[shakenvac]

Hi angelgabriel. I have one child and had a second degree tear during childbirth. It was stitched up but has not been the same since.

TMI, and apologies to those of you who are looking for advice about impending childbirth, and not wanting to think about the after-effects:

It is as if the perineum is shorter (?) I'm sure it used to slightly cover the entrance to my vagina but now that area is much more open and slack (yuck - horrible word, especially in this context!). I feel the midwife should have stitched it up a bit further. I have the same problem as you that tampons seem to fall out or leak and I am less confident sexually.

Kegel exercises seem to have helped a bit with regard to mild stress incontinence when sneezing, etc., but I think this is a different issue - about the opening to the vagina.

Sometimes I try to accept that it is just normal that things change after childbirth and it is a small price to pay for a lovely child. (I assume everyone has the same problem but nobody talks about it. Perhaps that's why there are so few posts on this thread (?))

Other times I think about paying for surgery privately to correct it. I don't want a 'designer vagina' , just want it to be more like it used to be. I haven't done anything about it though. I have assumed the GP wouldn't be interested as I asked about it at the six week check and was told it was fine, 'a lot better than some people's I've seen' (i.e. not as badly damaged). Also, I would be surprised if the NHS has money to help with this kind of thing - with all the cutbacks, they need to keep it for people who are actually ill.

[Pannacotta]

My undercarriage sadly not the same having had two (large babies) both around 9lb...
I had a second degree tear first time round, no tear this time but def a change in the perineum which seems to have reduced a bit with each birth.
I did ask my GP at my first 6 week check and she was quite dismissive, I think perhaps most people find these things do change after a vaginal birth.
If you are really concerned though (and 14 months is a while) it is prob best to go back to your GP and ask for advice/referral.

[cktwo]

Hi I know this thread is reasonably old but I've been through similar problems. To cut along story short I had a terrible delivery with my first baby then my second was rather large.
The resulting mess that it now my perimium and vagina has greatly affected my confiedence, my moods and my sex life so I went to the GP who referred me to the Gynacologist. He wasn't very helpful (said it wasn't too bad, cheeky git) put he did refer me to the Womens Health Physio at the hospital. This wonderful lady only deals with women who have given birth and not only has she worked on my body but also my mind. My sex life has improved and I don't worry as much about how it looks now.
Nothing give you back a pre-birth fanny (apart from sugery, maybe) but it helps speaking to someone who understands. If you can get a referral to your local womens physio, I really recommend it.

BTW when I first looked "down there" any having my babes I was so shocked. Nobody had prepared me for that, why didn't anyone warn me. Don't you think more should be said in pregancy books to prepare people? Its like the great unsaid of mothers - your pretty pre-birth nether-regions are going to look like a carcrash afterwards!