Had 3rd degree tear 14 weeks ago, still suffering - anyone else with post-natal agonies?

[MrsThierryHenry]

I gave birth 14 weeks ago and suffered a 3rd degree tear. Although I seemed to heal fairly well in the first few weeks, I seem now to be suffering one thing after another and am pretty fed up. Here comes the graphic stuff...look away if you're squeamish!

Firstly I strained on the loo when I had constipation from iron tabs. Just 1 second's worth of straining was enough to give me an anal fissure. Yum.

Secondly I developed stress incontinence (front and back - nice), which means that the rectal leaks create a delightfully agonising pain on my fissure - making healing even slower and making me double over every time I poo or leak.

Thirdly I've had bleeding from the front and back passages, but urine samples have come back negative.

Fourthly, I had antibiotics to knock out a poss urine infection (prob cause of the bleeding), which have left me with thrush - which affects my breastfeeding baby, whi keeps pulling off ev 2 seconds.

Fifthly (good thing I have a sense of humour, eh?!) I have a numbness in my clitoris which also feels like pain when I pass water.

Finally (at last!) the perineal pain has got worse recently, making walking difficult again, and though I ammostly strong, sometimes I just wanna curl up and cry.

Has anyone else had their own catalogue of post-natal woes?

One good thing - my DH and baby are gorgeous and bring me so much joy!

[ladylissielou]

no experience. but bumping for you!

[Summerfruit]

Message withdrawn

[helenhismadwife]

poor you, you really have been through it.

I would suggest going to your gp and asking to be refered to a specialist, did you have a follow up appointment at the hospital where you delivered? Where I work this is what happens if you did I maybe wouldnt bother going to the gp just give the hospital a ring dont suffer in silence at home

I hope you get things sorted soon

[black31cat]

Hi,
Its really spooky, but I was about to post about exactly the same symptoms as you are describing to see if anyone else was experiencing them.
I had my DS 3 weeks ago, and ended up with a 3rd degree tear. I was induced at 39 weeks due to gestational diabetes, a severe kidney infection and pre eclampsia, and DS was coming out face first so was turned with a ventouse and then delivered with forceps.
I then had a PPH, just to complete the picture.
Thankfully, despite all this, DS is now doing fine after a short spell in SCBU.
I've been given iron tablets but stopped taking them because they make me constipated, which is horribly painful. However, at the moment I still feel really tired and dizzy and keep almost fainting, so I can't really win. Also, walking is still really sore.
I know its probably just to be expected but its really starting to get me down. I mentioned how bad i was feeling to the HV and she just said "I'm not surprised".
Sorry this has turned into a bit of a whinge, but just wanted the OP to know that she's not alone.

[BirdyArms]

Just to say poor you!!!! I have one week old second degree tears and have been whinging away but am going to stop now. Make sure you get as much medical help as possible and really hope that you are fully recovered soon.

[pregnabrain]

More sympathy from me. And a message of hope. I had a second degree tear and really bad stress incontinence after I had my dd two years ago. And, like you, I just seemed to get knocked down by one problem after another in the first few months of her life. We both got thrush, which made breastfeeding incredibly hard. And then I got a strep B infection 'down there', which set back my healing even more. And I just got one cold after another coz I was so run down. I think I spent most of the first few months in tears, feeling like I'd been hit by a train and unable to pull myself out of it.

BUT...things did improve gradually. It took months, rather than weeks, for me to feel like I was getting back to normal. I remember feeling so jealous of all my mum friends who seemed to have bounced back from their births in a matter of days! With hindsight, I wish I hadn't panicked about it all so much. I just needed to give my body lots of time to get over the massive trauma it had been through.

Believe me, you will get through all this and the problems will start to fade slowly. It's just a massive shock to your system (and none of the classes or books prepare you for how bad you can feel after the birth!).

Best wishes - I hope it all goes well for you. Couple of specific tips:

1. I'm sure you will already have done this, but if not, make sure you get referred to a specialist continence physio. It's amazing the difference the exercises make when you are taught how to do them properly.
   
2. Go to see a breastfeeding counsellor about the thrush. I nearly gave up bf because of the pain from the thrush but a wonderful bf counsellor helped me get rid of it for good.

[MrsThierryHenry]

You're all so sweet, thanks for your sympathy and encouragement. It's so reassuring to hear from women who've also had a rough time - of course not that I'm glad you've been poorly, but only because all my friends took days to heal and here am I still suffering. Perhaps I will call the hospital; I had a perineal check a few weeks ago with the world's loveliest physio (she was a perineal specialist but I don't know about the incontinence part). Maybe I should call to see if I can see her again.

Black31cat and Pregnabrain, my heart goes out to you both. You're right, nothing prepares you for this - I felt really confident and well prepared for birth and even for motherhood, but this? My God.

Black31cat, I lost a lot of blood during my labour and was given a transfusion 3 days later because I was feeling dizzy, hot and weak. I was actually given the choice of whether or not to have the transfusion, and was told it would mean I'd feel better within hours rather than weeks (if I'd only taken iron tabs) - and it worked. By the end of the transfusion (2 bags - took about 4-6 hours, I think) I felt fantastic - no more tears of frustration and wanting to give up. Maybe you could discuss this with someone. I spent a night considering whether it was what I wanted to do, weighing up the risks, and am SO glad I decided to do it. It's exactly the same as having a drip - you don't feel anything, you just sit (or stand, or walk, or whatever you want) and let it happen. You'll find looking after your baby will be 100% easier because you'll feel normal again. You can still look after him/ her while you have the transfusion, too.

I've never given blood before as I've always been slightly anaemic, but once I stop breastfeeding I'll be down to the bloodbank. Thank God for people who do give blood - being in need of it really made me realise how important it is.

[pucca]

I too suffered a 3rd degree tear having my dd (3 yrs ago), tbh i didn't find it that bad, and i didn't have any complications immediately after but do still suffer some incontenence (back end sorry tmi!) and real urgency, when i need to go i have to leg it quick! lol.

You do need to see someone/be referred, i know it is the last thing on earth you want is someone else "messing around" down there, but you need it sorting now.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

I had a 3rd degree tear but I was sown up pretty well and haven't had any problems, immediately or long-term (7 years ago now). It shouldn't be taking quite this long to heal.

[ricepudding]

Hallo MrsTH - I'm sorry to hear you've been having such an awful time. I had a third degree tear too, and some stress incontinence both ends. St Thomas's has a new joint clinic run by gynaecologists and colo-rectal specialists - I've been referred there - is there anything similair in your area? I think you really do need some specialist help here, I'm sure it can be sorted, but I'd start kicking up a bit at this point

[daisym]

I had third degree tear 17 months ago and though I've been lucky in that I havent had any incontinence I have many of the symptons others have described here. Have finally got an appointment to see someone about this awful tugging pain I experience when ever I change from sitting down to upright position (I'm sure the stitches were done to tight so all the skin strains and pulls when I get up)

I have another more embarrassing problem in that I have a constant feeling that there is something sharp up my bum and lots of itching. Have been given loads of different creams by my gp who seems to think it could be caused due to thrush spreading up my rear end. So far this and nothing else has helped. Have heard about this specialist unit at St Thomas but my gp said she cant refer me there as its outside my primary care area. I assume I would have to pay to go private to see a colo-rectal specialist there, might ask gp on my next visit. Isnt it awful how your body can be so ruined by childbirth?

[dueat44]

Daisy and others - google something called 'lichen sclerosis' and just make sure your GP rules it out if you think it is a possibility. This is a not uncommon auto-immune disease, but v v commonly misdiagnosed as thrush. Stress / trauma can bring it on / exacerbate it extensively, seems to be the conclusion of sufferers, so childbirth would qualify ...

[MrsThierryHenry]

Thanks for all your thoughts and encouragement, it really helps. I've actually had a fairly good day today, pain-wise, and the back end incontinence is slightly better due to my total and utter dedication to pelvic floor ex's. I am really hoping my front end sorts itself out soon, too!

Pucca - did you see a specialist in the weeks after your tear? I was told by my lovely physio that I should squeeze upwards as tightly as possible and then hold it for 10 seconds (do this 10 times), and then another version where I squeeze and release quickly, making sure to release fully before the next squeeze. This way of doing the exercises requires far more concentration and effort than the way I was doing it before, and after about 2 weeks I noticed a significant improvement. Maybe you could ask to see a specialist about your continued incontinence - they'll prob stick a finger up your bum to feel how strong your lifts are, but then we've all had a team of medics looking up us during childbirth, haven't we?!

Re London hospitals, I heard there's some kind of clinic at King's College hosp for anyone who might want to try and get a referral; also St Mary's Paddington has the be all and end all of women's health clinics so I'd be surprised if they didn't have a specialist there. I'll bear your suggestions in mind if I see no further improvement; in the meantime I have another appt booked for next month.

Thanks y'all, you guys are fab. xx

[vizbizz]

I had a third degree tear a year ago, and am still recovering, though walking is finally ok if I don't keep at it for too long. It's a lot better than it used to be, but still a long way to go for me. I haven't had continence issues, but name just about any type of pain (sharp, aching, stabbing, burning, hypersensitive), and I have had it.

The first 4 months I had absolutely no decrease in pain at all. The stitches dissolved about then, and it improved a little but it's been really slow.

A specialist physio is one person who has been most helpful to me, see if you can be referred again. Made a HUGE difference to pain level using ultrasound (who would have thought a massage by someone I don't know could be SOOO nice?)

I hope you recover quickly! Hang in there, it's hard at this stage.

[Jackaroo]

MrsTH, this brought back so many memories! I was at King's, and yes, they have an excellent perineal clinic but it covers "everything"! Also, I really wouldn't leave it too long to get seen. I think you need a doctor for this, not a physio (however lovely) given all your clinical symptoms. But that's just MO.

Two by-the-bys that might make a huge difference -

1 - Spatone not iron tablets - you can get this on prescription, I seem to remember, but always just bought it myself at Boots (like sachets of ketchup, but each contains a tbspn of incredibly iron rich mineral water. NO side effects - can be given to children....) Or just google them.

2 - if your GP is sympathetic, take him/her print outs of info. on breast thrush from the web from Canada esp. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to include links on here, but it involved taking diflucan (50mg) several times a day for a very long time - maybe 4-5 weeks. I know that will horrify many people, but if you've suffered b'fding with thrush, and done it for 2 months with it just getting worse and worse, you will try anything. It was worse than 6 days of induction, a third degree tear or anything else I've ever encounted by the end. Frankly after that course of drugs I had never felt so well, so suspect I had systemic candida for ages before and didn't know it!

If someone can tell me I'm allowed to include a link, I'll do so.

Good luck!

[Myrtle1]

Hello,
I had a third degree tear too when I have birth 24 weeks ago. I haven't had any incontinence but it was very sore and painful to go to the loo for about the first 4 months! It was like every time I went, it openend up again and bled a little (sorry tmi)
Anyway, happily now at nearly 6 months things have settled down a lot and I feel almost back to normal but it is horrible and I fully sympathise.

[Wilbur]

Oh poor you, MrsTH - I have been there too. I had a tear with dd, that several weeks later after a bout of post-natal constipation, became an anal fissure, which was one of the most painful and uncomfortable things I have ever experienced. The first cream the gp gave me to heal the fissure gave me the most terrible headaches (who knew you could get headaches from a cream) and after a lot of weeping and demanding, I got myself referred to specialist - he was actually a surgeon, as it turned out, who was assessing me for an op to make repairs down there, but he decided there was a better cream and that the op was not a good idea in the long term. He prescribed a cream called, wait for it, Anoheal (!! ) which I had to keep in the fridge for all to see. It did work though and I was religious about putting it on as I didn't want to have an op. They also gave me sachets of something called Movicol (I found out later you can buy it over the counter at Boots - they order it in for you) which I found much better than things like lactulose for making going to the loo easier while I was healing. I also had some bouts of thrush with the antibiotics but they cleared up in time. I do feel for you though - the whole experience for me, what with people's fingers up my bottom, applying endless cream, worrying about whether I would ever have a sex life again, was completely depressing and humiliating. It is all better now though, thank god, and I didn't have any problems after delivering ds2 2 years later. Good luck!

[newkid]

No one tells you about these until you have one - do they?

I had a 3rd degree tear (knew it was something 'special' by the way they were referring to it and as they whisked me off to theatre - no bonding with baby for me in the hours after birth). However, I was really well sown up in theatre afterwards and have had limited problems, which tbh are prob mostly due to my laziness to do pelvic floors. However, I was given quite a thorough checkup by a consultant at 6 weeks post-partum to see if my muscles (front and 'ahem' back) were working. I got the impression that if there had been any probs I would have been referred on. So I'd go see your GP at a minimum. Don't have time to read other posts so apologies if repeating what others have said.

[newkid]

Re constipation - did you not get given a stool softener when you were sent home from hospital? Another thing I hadn't realised existed prior to childbirth!

[pregnabrain]

Forgot to say also that at 14 wks post-baby your hormones will still be all over the place. I found my pelvic floor / healing problems improved considerably once my cycle returned to normal (for me was after about six months i think).

glad to hear you're feeling a bit better.

[mamijacacalys]

Agree with Newkid, Summerfruit and Cristina - was sown up well after my 3rd degree with DD last July and haven't had any probs. Agree that I initially felt as if I'd been hit by a train (but this was the same for my DS when I didn't have a tear!) but this only lasted 2-3 weeks and everything was fine by the 6-week postnatal check. My advice to aid recovery is:

1. Drink loads of water, 2-3l per day if you can (or weak squash, diluted fruit juice or whatever you prefer). I think it helps both physically to heal the tissues and mentally to help minimise how tired you feel (as being dehydrated apparently makes you feel tired).
2. Bin the iron tablets and eat iron rich foods (fortified breakfast cereal, greens) plus lots of Hob-nobs (full of oats for fibre - forget the calories for now!) to get your poo back to normal.
3. Do the pelvic floor exercises, although if you're in pain down there I would agree with the other posts about seeking professional help - physio etc

HTH and it will get better, honestly!

[MerryMarigold]

Great to see all the third degrees out there! (irony). I had one too, a year and a half ago. I was in intense pain and bleeding after every no.2. I also had very bad weeping bedsores (note: DO NOT USE DISPOSABLE PANTS!).

Something to watch out for: they gave me painkillers at the hospital which actually increase constipation. Midwife told me and I came off them pronto. I also took Senokot as Lactulose is rubbish. I was bfeeding - he seemed fine. A good stirfry is also a sure way to 'bring things on'.

It took me about 4-5 months to heal, but did get better gradually. Mrs Thierry, I would def go back to the hospital if things have got this bad...

[Smellen]

Dear Mrs TH
Sorry to hear you are having such a horrible time. I haven't had time to read the entire thread, but just wanted to let you know that I'm another one who had a 3rd degree tear (although not with all the complications you mention), and a year later it was pretty much healed. A couple of things I tried were:

(1) take yourself off the iron tablets - just make sure you are eating lots iron-rich foods. Less constipating!!
(2) put hypericum and calendula oil (available from Neal's Yard, and they can also recommend other oils that might help healing) in your bath water and lie in it every night whilst DH looks after DS for half an hour.
(3) insist you see a specialist. The amount of postpartum care you automatically get varies greatly from one part of the country to the next - so make sure you getting the best you can.
(4) I had thrush whilst BF-ing too - there is loads of advice on the kellymom.com breastfeeding website, but basically you have to get yourself and your baby treated as you reinfect each other. (Your baby may have oral thrush if you have thrush in your breasts or nipples, so that might be why he pulls off. Thrush can be asymptomatic in the baby, so you may not get any other signs of infection in DS.)
(5) Nothing anyone can say is able to prepare you for the shock of becoming a mother, and when this is complicated by the huge physical trauma of a difficult birth, it can feel like an uphill struggle and a very lonely place. It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of it, in very difficult circumstances, and my heart goes out to you. All the best, and keep using the mumsnet talkboards to get support and advice - they helped me enormously when I was feeling down. You will heal and it will all seem much easier.

[MrsThierryHenry]

You are all so sweet and encouraging! I'm glad to say I've had my second good day in a row; having learned the hard way how important it is to rest, I've been taking it gently and eating lots of nice food...lemon tart is particularly good for perineal healing.

I did stop taking the horrible iron tabs - my poos were incredibly hard despite taking the dreaded Lactulose (apols for graphic description!) - interesting that some of you have had bad exp's with the stuff. I will go to Boots tomorrow for the liquid stuff you mentioned, Jackaroo, thanks!

Am really sorry to hear of yet more horror stories but also strangely encouraged. Really glad Wilbur that you've shown it's poss to have a good delivery after a 3rd degree; I'm hoping for another baby in about 2 yrs' time as well. Fingers crossed that those of you still having trouble can get the treatment you need and see a real improvement soon. xxx

[BexieID]

I had a 3rd degree tear as well last April (shaped like a Y). I had to take all sorts of tablets and that gungy stuff you have to drink which name escapes me ATM. It took me a whole week to go to #2. I always go as soon as I 'feel the need' now. My 6 week check was fine. Almost 11 months on, I do feel a little sore sometimes down there.