Loose vag

(18 Posts)
Christinedonna Fri 16-Sep-16 10:29:55

I have birth to my DD 4 weeks ago today. The bleeding has just about stopped, was next to nothing for a week or so but TOUCH WOOD I think it's done now. OH tried it on last night and I've been dying to get back on the horse if you will, so went to the toilet to take my pad off (was wearing just in case) and was slightly curious as to how tight/loose I am now as I hadn't yet checked..and could have cried at how much I've changed. Not to blow my own trumpet but I was extremely tight before..and now I am really not! So turned OH down and he went to sleep a bit deflated. Literally. So my question is, is it still too early for it to have fully recovered, and could get tighter still? Or is this my new vagina?

Dixiechick17 Fri 16-Sep-16 13:09:19

To be honest I didn't even attempt sex until three months after DD was born, and would have had no idea if it was loose but didn't feel it when we did do the deed and feels fine fifteen months on, I'd say four weeks post birth is a little early to worry about it smile

WigelsPigels Fri 16-Sep-16 15:06:16

DTD 6 weeks after with DS1 and 3 weeks with DS2. It will get better, just go for it if no pain.

AddictedtoGreys Fri 16-Sep-16 17:37:34

I would say it's a bit early to be worried about it

emsyj Fri 16-Sep-16 21:57:52

" Not to blow my own trumpet but I was extremely tight before"

That strikes me as a really weird thing to say. Why would having a tight vagina be something to boast about? And what is good about being 'extremely tight' for you??? confused I was very tight before I had my first vaginal birth and was, frankly, very relieved to find that it was looser afterwards. Sex is much better now.

Four weeks after birth is NOTHING. Birth takes a major toll on your body and it will take much longer for things to be 'back to normal'. The idea that you actively want a super-tight vagina just boggles my mind tbh. Either it wasn't 'extremely tight' before really (sorry to piss on your parade) or you really enjoy pain on penetration.

BeingATwatItsABingThing Fri 16-Sep-16 22:02:14

It took me around 2 months to return to feeling completely normal after birth. I was sore all over for weeks and finally pain free down there after 2 months. Had sex again about 10 weeks post birth. DP didn't complain I'd have castrated him if he had but I can't say I even checked the tightness to be honest. What a strange thing to do. hmm

FrogTime Fri 16-Sep-16 22:06:12

I'd leave it until after the 6 week check so you know everything is ok. If you had tears or grazes it could aggravate. Just do your pelvic floor exercises and you'll get most of it back if not all.

I had an episiotomy, we tried sex after about 2 months as I was paranoid and worried about tearing scar tissue but it was fine . Glad we waited and I'm basically back to normal now.

doyouseeme1 Fri 16-Sep-16 22:14:31

I'd say it's still too early. I had a straight forward birth, bleeding only lasted two weeks and had no tears or grazes and stupidly tried to have sex 4 weeks after birth because I felt fine. It was awful, I felt like it was a bucket, it didnt feel the same and sensation wise I had barely any. We stopped pretty much straight away. We left it another few weeks to try again and it felt 1000x better. It soon felt the same as it used to, it just takes time

stealtheatingtunnocks Fri 16-Sep-16 22:15:47

your body is still recovering.

a vagina is not a hole which is "tight" or "not". It is a collapsed tube which opens to allow penetration - thats' why you need a speculum to see a cervix.

if you're turned on, your vagina will respond to accommodate whatever you want to bung in there. If you are not, well, it won't.

You are very, very early postnatal. As in, you have no hope in hell of getting the same sexual response as you had pre-natally. Get some lube, and lashings of it. And, relax. Your baby a month old, give yourself a break.

Hurrah for wanting to be back in the saddle. That doesn't mean that everything is going to be the same as it was - you get a check at the GP at 6 weeks for good reason. TBH, it can take months to settle down.

Relax, use lube, have a wank, do your pelvic floor exercises, see how you go. Mainly though relax. A finger up a vag a few weeks after giving birth is not a good indicator of how a saddle's going to fit.

Seriously, you'll be fine. Try feeling less obliged to do much more than sleep and eat. I don't mean to be flippant, but, am serious, you are only baby steps into baby days. Relax, tell your partner to have a wank, empty the dishwasher, take the baby between midnight and 6am, give you a neck rub - for a month, and then, hop on.

Christinedonna Sat 17-Sep-16 06:56:06

emsyj tight doesn't always mean painful..the OH loved it and so did I, it just felt good for us.
beingatwat it was purely as I was apprehensive so thought I'd check before he did.
doyouseeme that's really reassuring, thank you.
I know four weeks isn't a lot but it really feels it. I'm not one to relax or take the weight off when I should. I was back to scrubbing the kitchen, hoovering and stealth emptying the dishwasher within days. I think that's what makes it hard, because I'm back in that routine but not this one. Il keep doing my exercises and hope for the best. Thank you everyone

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sat 17-Sep-16 07:12:29

Just do it when it feels right for you but I really would wait until after your check up with the GP.

Christinedonna Sat 17-Sep-16 07:34:01

I think I will now. That's two weeks of exercises away, surely that'll make a difference

bumblingmum Sat 17-Sep-16 07:42:03

Crikey, 4 weeks is nothing. I was still bleeding at 8 weeks after. We tried at 6 weeks as Drs suggest it before checkup but so painful (third degree tears and many many stitches). It took us nearly a year before we could have sex which felt remotely normal and pain free.

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sat 17-Sep-16 07:55:32

Drs suggest sex before the 6 week check up? hmm I never got told that.

Diddlydokey Sat 17-Sep-16 08:01:31

Still early days. Re the 6 week check, that was all about my ds rather than me... what are they supposed to check?

Diddlydokey Sat 17-Sep-16 08:02:34

I dtd at 4 weeks too and it was fine, just take it slow

NellWilsonsWhiteHair Sat 17-Sep-16 08:29:30

Re the six week check - doctor offered me an internal check to see how I'd healed (second degree tear with stitches) - although in fact she didn't carry it out - as soon as she touched me it was obvious I was still too sore. I can't remember what else was checked, but we had two separate appointments - me at six weeks, DS at six weeks.

It won't come as any surprise that it was a long long time later before I had sex... So nothing useful for the OP. My pelvic floor was pretty wrecked by DS' speedy arrival, though - I appreciate I'm not the normal case.

MrsPatrickDempsey Sat 17-Sep-16 10:50:18

The vagina is designed to stretch and the walls are composed of rugae which are a bit like a concitina which contract back. As a midwife I have performed quite a lot of vaginal exams in my time and I can honestly say I don't think there is a variation in tightness really. Why do you feel like this? And also like the there's have said, the process of involution and the uterus getting back to normal after childbirth can take up to 8 weeks.

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