And it's putting me off getting pregnant again. I just feel like if I can put it all down even, and see it here then that'll be a step forward.
I'm really worried about giving birth a second time. First time I was 22 and had DS. It was okay, but at the time my family wasn't that supportive although I did have DH who was, and still is absolutely amazing. The pain was other worldly and I was so, so frightened. There was literally no let up in contraction pain and all I could do was moo like a cow. I was sick from the gas and air, and I couldn't get across to the midwives how much pain I was in. I couldn't even cry properly (just tears, no sobs) because the pain literally took my breath away. It took another midwife coming on shift, and my DH standing at their station and refusing to move until I got an epidural. After that it really was plain sailing. Small graze, no tears and I pushed him out very easily.
I'm really worried second time round about the pain, and not being able to convince the midwives I'm in a lot of pain again. I'm scared they'll leave me and leave me again and they won't listen to me. I'm also scared of injury or intervention (can't be that lucky twice, surely) and to be honest it's got to the point where I'm wondering if it's better at the outset to just request a c section. I know that's easier said than done, but it's really preventing me from willingly having another.
I'm putting off TTC because I'm so frightened about that situation. My throat actually tightens when I think about it (how bloody ridiculous, I know I need to get a bit of a grip) and rather than nice baby thoughts, all I can think of is how quickly I'm going to lose control again. I don't know if I trust the midwives to help me and listen to me, even though I'm in another area now.
What do people think? Has anyone been in this situation and overcome it? Thank you in advance.
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Childbirth
Fear of vaginal birth second time round...
3 replies
milkmilklemonade12 · 21/08/2016 08:03
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