Those of you who didn't have a birth partner...

(10 Posts)
verytiredmummy1 Fri 10-Jun-16 10:43:10

How was it being in your own? My husband will be in and out but we have a very young DD who hates being left with anyone. I don't want a friend there and don't have contact with my Mum.

Is there anything I can prepare that will make my life easier if husband isn't there? Xx

beckslovestimmy Fri 10-Jun-16 10:50:24

Place marking as I may be in that situation if there's no one around to have DD. I'm not worried really. I've packed my bag so know where everything is and at the 36 week appointment I discussed the possibility of arriving alone. Midwife was not phased and said I would be well supported. I think when I'm in pain or sick I rather be alone anyway. I'm sure you'll be fine. If there is anything really specific in your birth plan make sure you discuss it sooner rather than later as you won't have anyone to advocate for you if your alone. Good luck

GastonsPomPomWrath Fri 10-Jun-16 10:59:30

I had to give birth alone with my third baby. It wasn't by choice, my ex left me when I was pregnant and refused to come to the birth, and my mum had to look after my older 2.

I was terrified. Even though I wasn't a first time mum, the thought of having no support was so scary. I had an induction at 11 days overdue, hadn't had one before and it was difficult absorbing all the information while being the one in labour!

But I did it and I could do it again. As soon as she was born I felt an overwhelming sense of achievement. I couldn't believe how brave I'd been!

The midwives were really lovely and supportive. You won't be the first and they will be prepared to help you. Write down anything specific in your birth plan and make sure to point out that you're alone.

The other option you have is a doula if its something you think that you can afford?

verytiredmummy1 Fri 10-Jun-16 11:07:23

Thank you ladies. I wasn't too phased and was happy with our decision that DH would be there for DD but my midwifes reaction to me telling her I'd be on my own worried me! She was very surprised and listed people I could take. Now I'm worried sad

MyFirstMyLastMyEverythingBagel Fri 10-Jun-16 11:17:46

I had my third on my own - it was fine smile I just got on with it, I don't mean that in a smug way, the midwives were lovely and didn't leave me alone for long periods, I was perfectly happy with how it all went. Don't be afraid or worried about it, you'll be grand. I also didn't want a friend to come in with me o preferred to do it alone - i would do it again with no hesitation. Good luck smile

SleepymamaJapan Fri 17-Jun-16 14:21:20

My second daughter I was alone giving birth in hospital and it was very smooth and easy! We have no family near and my hub stayed with dd1, as it started in the middle Of the night!!

I know its a bit of a cliche but I think it went easier without him there!

I'm pregnant with baby3 now and thinking of a homebirth... But I'm actually a bit worried my hub will be there - he's a vomited/fainter. I think I'm better doing it myself ha!

AMomentaryLapseOfReason Fri 17-Jun-16 14:37:56

I had my second on my own (well, the midwife was there) as a home birth. DH was looking after DS, as we had agreed. He said he'd seen it all once, and if I was OK with it, didn't need to see it again!

It was brilliant. I didn't have to worry about what I did or said, the MW was lovely - possibly because I was 'alone', who knows? I found it very ... empowering I suppose.

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 17-Jun-16 14:46:31

Have you considered a home birth OP?
Lack of childcare is my main reason for choosing to birth at home this time round!! My family all live too far away to help, and we haven't lived here long enough to have made friends that I would trust with my 13 month old Dd possibly overnight.

verytiredmummy1 Fri 17-Jun-16 22:34:58

Thank you for your replies ladies.
Unfortunately I cannot have a home birth due to a high risk pregnancy so have to give birth on consultant led unit otherwise I would have liked one.
Is there anything different I should pack this time? Stupid question I know but last time I relied a lot on DH to get me things!

AliBingo Mon 27-Jun-16 21:34:26

I had DS alone in hospital as DH was home looking after DD1 and didn't arrive in time. Then I had DD2 on my own so DH could mind the other 2. Both were fine. It was annoying that with DD2 the midwives kept asking why I didn't get the neighbour or my mum or friend etc etc to look after the kids so DH could come in.

I made sure my labour bag was really well packed and I knew where everything was in case I had to ask midwife to get anything out. I also got nappies and clothes out beforehand in case I couldn't dress the baby but in fact it was all fine and I felt better and more in control during and after that birth than either of the other two.

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