Ventouse delivery...What happened? Prolapse? Future births??

[eepie]

A year ago I had a long labour which was supposed to be natural and water birth...After a sweep at 41 weeks (they told me I was already 3cm dilated) I went into labour at 6.30pm...Then after a couple of hours at home I was unable to concentrate on anything or talk through contractions, I could not lie down on my side & try & sleep or lie in the bath...I was flushed in the face, vomiting and had dark blood and a show...This made me think I was in the 'serious' phase of labour and not early labour anymore.. It was incredibly intense & I didn't feel safe or comfortable at home, only felt comfortable leaning over the sink or kneeling and leaning on the bed & my arms were getting very tired after a whole evening & night & morning of this...I begged my DP to take me to the birth centre...he put me off for a bit saying it was too soon as contractions were not getting closer together enough. We drove there in the end (me leant over back seat with my head in the parcel shelf as I couldn't sit down) and I had to stop every few minutes to lean on the walls of the hospital whilst having contractions. As I was only 4cm they said they said they would not admit me & I had to go home. I was furious & vomited all over their examination bed & then reluctantly left. A couple of hours later we were back there and they finally admitted me as I was 5cm. I was still furious and thought they should have let me stay at 4cm!!! I only live 10mins down the road from the birth centre but the journey each time was hell & very stressful. They let me stay in a room and hang from some parachute type thing that was hanging from the ceiling. After a while of me constantly saying I wanted to go in the pool (And not having offered me gas & air at all) they finally let me in the pool and it was SUCH a relief, I cried I was so happy they had finally let me in there... it was such a relief. I was in the pool for maybe another 5 or 6 hours until I asked for G&A and they gave me some. This was my first pain relief. At this point it became clear that they thought the baby was in a weird position...she has been back to back this whole time...Maybe that explains why I was struggling so much even though not very dilated?
After a while longer (no idea about the time really) they said the contractions were just not getting closer together at all, the baby was in a weird position and the contractions were not turning her as they weren't close enough together or strong enough - they said my body was starting to get exhausted & I needed a rest (maybe this was 30 hours in?) so they told me they were going to give me diamorphine for 2 hours so I could rest a bit & hopefully it'd help my cervix dilate more & the baby get into a better position. I refused but eventually said ok...I laid there on my side with some toast & G&A and slept a bit in between contractions but still needed G&A for each contraction. My DP was passed out on a beanbag at this time & I thought they had given him diamorhine too ! After this I got back in the pool...all I remember after this is I had some Lucozade, vomited in the pool and out of the pool, had trouble emptying my bladder so I had to get out of the pool & they had to do it for me a bunch of times (was quite impressed by this) they kept checking the baby's heartbeat and it was fine the whole time. The nurse kept telling me about the baby's position....They kept re-heating the pool. I got a bruise on my forehead from resting my head on the side of the birthing pool. I got VERY strong pushing contractions (I didn't actively push myself they just started coming over me like waves) and they made me yodel this kind of primal scream but I coped with them well with the G&A...I just kept relaxing myself & letting my body do it, as I was taught in hypnobirthing..we had the hypno track going on for hours and hours. I found it comforting though. I had lost all track of time & had no idea if it was 9pm or 9am....I couldn't keep water or food down at this point and they said I was getting very dehydrated and my body was starting to eat itself! The pushing contractions were slowing down..they were coming very infrequently and I was just falling asleep on the edge of the pool in between. I remember it seemed like a long time there was no contractions at all & it felt weird because it felt like the baby was literally about to come out..the midwives were getting towels, getting into position to catch the baby, talking about the placenta etc...My DP seemed to perk up as if things were about to happen...Then nothing..everything started to slow down. Baby's heartbeat was constant, they checked after every contraction. Phew. They told me the baby is stuck...she keeps coming down and then going back up...the contractions don't seem to be strong enough or close enough together so they had me get out of the pool and push on a birth stool, on my hands and knees, using my DP as support, standing up...etc...For 2 hours. Then they said look... after 38 hours we have tried everything to get this baby out naturally and she is not coming & you are seriously exhausted & dehydrated and in ketosis...We need to transfer you to the delivery suite now & have help with ventouse or forceps. This was my worse nightmare and I was so exhausted and fed up...for the first time I really snapped out of my 'labour-zone' (had hardly spoken in all this time) and said 'No ! I don't want ventouse or forceps, just give me a C-Section! I've had enough !! They wheelchaired me (me facing backwards leaning over the wheelchair a-la-parcel-shelf car journey) up in the lift to the delivery suite & I was having screaming full body convulsive pushing contractions the whole way up in the lift! It ended in ventouse delivery with syntocin drip to get contractions going stronger and closer together, epidural (refused this at first but the anaesthetist talked my DP into it saying 'SHE NEEDS THIS IF SHE'S HAVING THE DRIP & VENTOUSE' and he told me & I was like ok whatever. Didn't feel the epidural at all but remember having a contraction and violently sucking on the gas & air & trying to keep still whilst they were putting it in...The midwives from the birth centre came up with me & I had my feet put in stirrups & they could see the contractions on the monitor & were telling me to push (couldn't feel anything) as they were trying to see if I could beat the doctor to it as they got the ventouse ready...I couldn't and DD was delivered by ventouse...savage ! My DP watched the whole thing..don't know why. It has traumatised him for life...silly. & they gave me an episiotomy -- still not sure why???? Think DD's shoulder had a hard time coming out maybe? I was stitched up and the doctor was like really pleased with herself and said she did a great job...one junior midwife walked past, looked at my fanjo and said "Oh it totally doesn't look like you just had a baby out of there!" I loved her for that. But 1 year on...I am having a look a my fanjo in a mirror...just to see..what has happened...And it looks like I might have had a prolapse..I remember thinking that it felt like something was coming out during the first 6 weeks...and sex felt weird...But I ignored it because I couldn't bear being interfered with down there again. (external episiotomy stitches burst at 4 weeks PP and had to go get them to look at it again..they said it would heal on it's own but it'd take longer) Anyway so it looks like I can see vaginal wall at the front (at the the top nearest to my clitoris) bulging in the entrance...and then either side I have what looked like skin tags and weird narrow flaps kind of almost coming out of my fanjo...It looks very open still... and I have had some stress incontinence issues and pain and burning after sex sometimes at the top...The outside episiotomy scar is visible but not really and looks ok. But it doesn't look great down there...it looks weird..for a minute I thought it was like warts inside me !! But did some research and looks like it's skin tags or scarring....Arg! it just looks horrible to me..I have recently split up with DD's Dad and the thought of anyone apart from him (TBH didn't even really want him looking down there) seeing me...fills me with dread,...I am only 26 and I feel very self conscious about it !! My baby was huge as well she was 9lbs 3oz and was like 90th centile head circumference damn her and her massive gorgeous huge head !! I am now really self conscious that I will feel loose down there to any new partner, or they will go down there & be like WTF IS THIS??? Plus I am worried about the impact on future births...can I have a vaginal birth again? Should I probably have had a c-section considering my baby was so big/so stuck/contractions were so crap throughout? I'm still traumatise and confused about the birth and want to find out or analyse what happened (hence the long post - sorry) and assess my options for the future.

Any advice or analysis of the birth (by midwives or women who've had similar births and come to terms with them) would be massively appreciated. Thank you and sorry for long post ! I had to get this out !!!

[Lonz]

It sounds like you have a lot going on in your head. 1 year is a short time and you may not have dealt with it yet. Have you had a birth debrief? That will answer a lot of questions.

In most cases of ventouse delivery/assisted delivery they do an episiotomy to prevent a 3rd/4th degree tear. The tags you describe could be hymenal remnants. Sometimes baby's head will pull bits of it with them, sorry for description.
I found it hard to deal with my son's birth for so long but now I'm waiting for therapy. The debrief gave me more information about my son's birth for me to process why things happened the way they did, it cleared my head a bit. It takes a while to sink in new information that I didn't know or was told. I know I had so many questions going round and round in my head 'why this?' 'why me?'

I had an epi and internal stitches as well as external and I didn't know the true extent of my injuries until my debrief which was a bit shocking to hear and see. (which is weird as they were down there sorting me out afterwards- they could have just told me) To be honest I was obsessed with the injuries I had, especially the episiotomy, couldn't get my head round it, and my stitches came apart so I resented the whole thing and not knowing why they cut me in the first place but I found out my son needed to be born asap or it may have been a different story.
If you're concerned about a prolapse, maybe try and get a referral to a gynea. Explain to them about your situation and how you feel about the whole experience. Just a GP may not be able to spot anything wrong, it takes a specialist to notice it.

Have you taken any steps to start to recover? I think a birth debrief would be beneficial for you, it can help put some things to rest. Books about healing trauma and CBT can help. Trauma is not irreversible mental damage, but temporary, for however long. I hope this has helped a bit, sorry I don't have much.

[pinguina16]

Hi eppie,

I'm sorry. When reading the account of your birth, I kept thinking: this seems pretty standard for a first birth (apart from the back to back baby).

In no way do I want to dismiss what has happened to you. I am trying to say that what you describe is what giving birth can be like for a lot of women but nobody wants to be quite honest about it.

If you look at maternity statistics for England, around 25% have a C-section (ELCS or EMCS), 13% ventouse or forceps (or both!) and probably many, many more have an episiotomy. These numbers would be higher for first-time mums (although I have so far been unable to find maternity stats for first-time mums only - I really think this should be made available so we can get an idea of what comes ahead).
www.nct.org.uk/professional/research/maternity%20statistics/maternity-statistics-england

Talking about my birth in a lot of detail with psychologists has helped me a lot. I went over every detail, anything that bothered me until I felt I understood everything and felt someone had listened to me (one of my issues was that a lot of healthcare professionals were making my birth look like nothing unusual had happened - please do not let anyone tell you nothing happened. Something has happened: you gave birth and some of it was horrible. This needs to be acknowledged).

As regards a possible prolapse, just a few questions. Can you run? I mean, can you sprint for a bus? What happens when you run, how does it feel, do you experience some incontinence?
If stress incontinence has resolved and you can run, jump, play tennis, I think you're fine (for now anyway).
The best is to go to your GP (if there's one who specialises in Women's health at your practice, it might be worth seeing them) and discuss whether being referred to a woman's health physio is possible (sometimes it's called a uro-gynae clinic).

All the best.

[Lonz]

I found that too. My birth is 'a typically normal birth', but it isn't really is it? Not to the woman. Maybe to the health pros who do it everyday. It's not fair for them to palm it off because they're used to seeing it. Like the Birth Trauma Association say 'trauma is in the eye of the beholder'. A normal birth doesn't involve intervention. A normal birth is spontaneous labour and breaking of the waters. Then mum pushes baby out at her own pace. That's a normal birth. Neither of my sisters, who have 7 kids between them, had an episiotomy, or even one stitch.

It's not fair that because of how it's regarded, I was left feeling undeserving of feeling crap about my birth experience. It's ridiculous that my son was born blue and not crying and wasn't told why about anything because 'it's normal'. No. No, it wasn't.

Like above said you feel the way you feel about your experience and you should be listened to.

[Runningupthathill82]

Eepie - just to say your experience of labour sounds very much like mine, only in my case the ventouse failed and we ended up with forceps instead. It was awful and I'm terrified about number two being born.

I honestly think that more time should be spent talking about intervention etc in antenatal classes. It is so common yet nobody thinks it will happen to them because we're constantly told that the body knows what it's doing, birth is the most natural thing in the world, etc.

I have no real advice, other than to say you're not alone and I too still feel traumatized by what happened to me, almost three years later.

[eepie]

Thank you all for the kind responses...I think I will contact the birth centre and see if I can have a debrief...is 1 year on too late for that ? I'd like to look over my notes and see what happened. Sorry for short reply..very tired tonight ! DD has been up in the nights again for some reason.

[Shakey1500]

My DS was ventouse born and I had a 4th degree tear. I have not long had surgery for bladder/bowel prolapse and perineum reconstruction. I would recommend being referred to a urogynaecologist as they specialise in pelvic dysfunction/prolapses etc (as opposed to a gynaecologist).

FWIW you have my sympathies regarding your birth, it sounds like such and ordeal for you

[polkadotdelight]

Oh eepie we have such a lot in common. I had induction due to premature rupture of membranes, a badly placed epidural, episiotomy, ventouse, post partum haemorrhage and a 9lb 8oz baby who came out with his hand on his head! I also had my sutures break down. Hardly the water birth and ball bouncing I had in mind!

It sounds like you might benefit from a debrief to help you get past this. As for the sleep thing, our babies are probably a similar age and Id never really read about wonder weeks before but it certainly explains a lot to us at the moment!

[cosytoaster]

I had a v long first labour which ended in epidural, ventouse and episiotomy, it came as a real shock, I was also very anaemic due to blood loss. I went to see my GP a few months out as I felt that I may have had a prolapse, to be told it was 'just lumpy stitching', I would suggest you go and get checked out. I also think a debrief and maybe counselling would be good for you.

Second time round I spoke to a consultant who looked over my notes and assured me that I wouldn't have another birth like that. In the end DS2s birth was quicker and less traumatic but still required ventouse and another episiotomy.

I have never examined what I look like down there, but I can't imagine it's attractive - however I'm not with DCs dad any more and have had other relationships and everything has been fine!

[coveredinsnot]

It sounds like you had a very traumatic experience, both physically and mentally. I would strongly recommend you see a therapist. You can usually self refer to your local iapt service (Google iapt and your area / local primary care NHS trust) or you can ask your gp to refer you. They may be able to offer you CBT or EMDR to help process the trauma. You definitely need to see a specialist regarding possible prolapse. I can't believe they can perform such a brutal intervention and not recommend follow up and monitoring. Don't be fobbed off by health professionals who are used to seeing this stuff! This is affecting you in a big way so keep nagging.