My c-section is booked for 1 December. Unfortunately, due to husband's job, I am going to have this baby in Canada, away from my family. My mum is going to come the night before and stay for a month. My dad is going to come in a few weeks and spend Christmas with him, he doesn't want to be in the way, and will be staying in a hotel - I think maybe my mum will transfer to be with him if we're doing okay. I am crazy about my mum, absolutely love her, and wish she could stay forever because I know she'd just cook and clean for me.
Of course, the in-laws want to come too, and I'm fine with that, but they are hard work. They've found all the flights from 1 JANUARY are really expensive, and I feel awful asking them to stay away longer than that. But my parents are a bit weird with other people, and I hoped to have just my mum around for the first few months and I didn't want an all-family Christmas. My husband knows it would be awkward. They're very different sorts of people - my parents are quite shy and reserved, they're louder and more sociable. They'd be very happy to spend Christmas altogether. But I spent last Christmas with my in-laws, I sort of feel it should be my parents' turn, but on the other hand, I think my in-laws won't see a reason we can't all spend it together. And I'm afraid I will be exhausted and won't want to worry about parents getting on, and stuff. Also, I fear mother-in-law's version of helping (she only has sons) will be looking after the baby while I do the cleaning, and think she doesn't understand the difference between having your mother helping and your mother in law helping. I had a lot of operations as a child and my mum was always with me, it just seems natural, not like favouring one particular set of parents.
However, in-laws are VERY easily offended and have never forgiven me for not having a white wedding and other stuff. So I just don't know if I'm being unreasonable again and breaking their hearts again.
Does anyone have any opinion on this? Should I bite the bullet and have them overlap and if they don't get on it's their problem? I would really like some recovery time before my mad in-laws come, they mean well, but they are really hard work. Can I really get away with demanding they wait a WHOLE MONTH before seeing their grandchild (not their first, husband's brother has kids. Still, that hardly matters...)
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Childbirth
Parents/in-laws visiting - very long and boring, sorry.
16 replies
macneil · 12/11/2006 01:03
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