Advice please. Pushing with external hemorhoids, episiotomy scar etc :-(

[Omfgwtf]

Evening

So, I am 36 weeks and have an appointment to discuss birth plan with MW tomorrow.

I thought I had the attitude of leaving everything in their hands and letting nature take it's course, but now labour is becoming more of a reality I am starting to feel very anxious and am reflecting a lot on my first born.

DC1 was 10lbs and ventouse assisted. I had an episiotomy and haemorrhaged afterwards. I also had a thrombosed haemorrhoid which was agony and I was very fucking miserable for weeks if not a couple of months afterwards.

At the moment I have a very bad case of external haemorrhoids. These are not pregnancy related as they never went after DC1, just got worse and I have been too embarrassed to see anyone about them. It is awful down there and I am terrified of pushing on them. What is going to happen??

After my episiotomy it's never been the same down there and feels a bit numb/sore where the scar tissue is. Doesn't bother me day to day but I noticed it after an investigation down there (took a while to pluck up the courage!). What happens if you have another episiotomy??

Would these be just cause to elect for a cesarean? Am I too late to do so? I really don't think I can push on my problems, and what if I have another big baby that gets stuck. It was nerve wracking :(

Obv will be asking MW about this but wondered if there was any experience/advice on mumsnet for knowledge is power before appointment.

[nutelladipper]

Hi I've only just dare enter this section! How did it go with MW?