have you come out of childbirth 'unscathed'?

[rubyred84]

physically and mentally? sounds like an odd question but it just seems that almost every woman suffers slightly during childbirth. some seem to suffer birth injuries and face intervention but don't find the experience distressing, others seem to physically have a great birth but mentally struggle afterwards. what we're your experiences?

I'm not looking for solely positive birth stories to make me feel better so please don't sugar coat it for me, I'm just looking for honest experiences of first births. I'm a strong believer in being armed with the truth!

does everyone tear during their first birth? is intervention more common with your first?

I'm having twins, and so sadly my options are much more limited than with one baby. I just want us all to safe and happy, and I'm trying to decide what is best for us (me included!!)

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

I had a second degree tear but 17 months on it has completely healed and I genuinely can't tell the difference (it was healed very quickly). I wouldn't say i'm emotionally scarred, other than thinking I might go for an epidural this time round (currently 27 weeks pregnant). I think giving birth affects everyone as it's such a life altering event, but that doesn't have to be in a negative way. I feel proud that my body managed to produce another human!

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

Oh and to answer your questions, I didn't have any intervention with my first. It was a long labour (48 hours) but relatively uncomplicated, I used a tens machine and then gas and air when I got to hospital.

[scarletforya]

I had a CS so everything is the same except for a scar, which is quite faded now nearly 3 years later.

Mentally, there was nothing to get over except I'm sure I was given something to 'relax me' through the iv which made me feel nauseous at the moment the baby was handed to me. I couldn't hold her as I felt I would drop her, but that passed quickly and I fed her straight away for 20 mins in recovery. Do if I was doing it again I would specify I don't want whatever that stuff was. I didn't have a birth plan though as I was hoping for as much intervention as possible!

[HellKitty]

With my first I had a ventouse and also a second degree tear. It's sounds so much worse than it is, honestly! I wouldn't have known at the time. Two more children and I tore both times, 2nd then a 3rd degree. Have healed up fine, no ongoing problems and my bits haven't fell out

[Roseybee10]

I had a fairly straightforward first labour but long and baby was back to back. i felt let down as the MWs didn't listen to me and kept telling me I wasn't in labour and I must have a low pain threshold when I was actually going from 3-9cm in less than an hour. I didn't get my birth in the MLU because they wouldn't listen so I felt a bit angry after although the actual birth wasn't too awful. I did tear but I think that's coz I was on my back (I couldn't stand anymore as I was too tired). Two and half hours of pushing.
Afterwards I healed well and emotionally I felt on top of the world. I never hit the baby blues etc. had gained a LOT of weight and had 5 stone to lose so body image was a bit negative for a while although I lost it before her first bday.

Second time was two months ago. Textbook home water birth. Very relaxed, only in active labour for 2 hours and out in 3-4 pushes. Went into shock a bit due to how fast it all was and struggled to breastfeed (went straight to bottle first time) which left me upset and feeling a failure. Hit the baby blues quite badly and struggled to bond with baby as quickly.
Was back in my size 10 jeans within s week so body image not as negative.

[Cumberlover76]

I had a lovely totally untraumatic home water birth with my first. I had no drugs and did not tear at all, mentally it was a great experience and I felt totally in control the whole time. I was very prepared. I read a number of natural birth books like INA May and Juju Sundin. I went to ant natal yoga, swimming at least 2 times a week and Daisy birthing classes and practiced every day. I religiously did pelvic floor exercises and perineal massage and my DH was also very prepared and supportive as were my midwives. Everything went back to pre birth pretty quickly, I think partly because of the exercise before. I was 35 so a slightly older mum and luckily had time to do all the prep. I think to have a positive birth you need to be physically and mentally prepared, but things could still have gone differently as we are all different. Good luck, be prepared and at least you will feel confident in your ability. You totally can do it ??

[Roseybee10]

Ps good luck xx

[fruitpastille]

Scarletforya - that could have been the effect of the spinal? I've had a few and often thrown up afterwards.
3 cs here ( one failed vbac) and all fine physically and mentally.

[Chips1999]

DS was my first baby and I found the whole birth manageable and calm. I woke up just after 5am not feeling 'right' which progressed to period aches, to period pains to contractions by 6am when I woke DH up. Had two paracetemol and a bath at home, drove to the hospital when I felt I wanted to be checked and have some sort of pain relief. Arrived at the hospital at about 9.30am 9cms dilated and had DS in the birth pool at just after 11am. Start to finish the whole thing was exactly 5 hours 50 minutes. I had a second degree year, but I didn't know until afterwards when I was in bed having tea and toast and the mw said she should do my stitches soon and I asked "what stitches?"

DD's birth was a bit harder for me mentally as I knew she would be quicker and when I went into labour DH was at work and I knew it would take him at least an hour to get home. First contraction at 11am, second contraction 15 minutes later so I phoned DH and said I thought it was the real thing. Agreed to call again in half an hour to make a decision. Called DH at 12pm and had had just 4 contractions by this point and knew it was labour. Had a bath at home, DH came home, we decided he should pick DS up from nursery and DM was at our house to look after him. As soon as DH got back with DS we went straight to the hospital and I was 8cms dilated and had DD within 1 hour of arriving. Whole thing was 4 hours 23 minutes from first contraction. It was a bit harder as I didn't have DH with me the whole time as I find him a very calming influence, and the birth was quite quick so I struggled to breathe through the contractions as I felt like I couldn't keep up. I also felt a bit worried as when my waters burst there was meconium and I was transferred from the midwife led unit upstairs to the normal labour ward. I had a second degree tear again, didn't feel it but wasn't surprised.

It probably sounds trite but one the calmer you are and the more you focus on breathing the easier it will be and having a really supportive birth partner to calm you makes all the difference!

I'd do it all again tomorrow! Holding your baby after they've been born is worth everything you've had to go through to get there.

[HeffaLumpers]

I had a genuinely lovely birth with my first. I am expecting my second and really looking forward to doing it again. I had a water birth in a mlu with just gas and air. Labour was just over 6 hours from first twinge. I had a very minor tear but really wasn't a problem. Tearing was also one of my biggest concerns. I loved having a newborn and found the early months on the whole pretty pleasant, no pnd. I used the natal hypnosis cd whilst pregnant and I found I was very calm approaching the birth. I would thoroughly revcomend that.

[JustAStormInADCup]

My first was a straight forward birth. No tearing or intervention. However, I did suffer flashbacks for a few days afterwards and had trouble relaxing and sleeping.

[Eyre89]

I have one DS and had a svd at 35 weeks. My labour was quick only lasted 7 hours and I had no tearing at all. The thing which I didn't like was I had gas and air and I didn't like the "detached" feeling it gave me. That's the only thing that had any negative for me personally. When they said they were taking him to NICU I said ok and looked fine but inside I knew it could be serious. It's hard to explain. I'd avoid gas and air next time for me.

With regards to tearing I think it's all totally individual I have always done pelvic floor exercises (before pregnancy) so whether that had any effect on labour I don't know. It's all dependant on so many factors position, size etc A few of my friends tore badly and they healed really well and have no problems. As previous posters said they weren't aware it had happened.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

[Salene]

I was utterly terrified of childbirth I'm also terrified of needles and was having nightmares about the likes of epidural and intervention like forcepts

To make matters worse was being induced

So I went in and got the 1st pessary put in at 10pm by 5 am my water had broke and contractions started

Yes they were sore but manageable

My baby was born at 1359 after 45mins of 2nd stage labour

I got a 2nd degree tear and was sat on my phone on FB while they stitched me up, that's how un tramatised I was by the whole experience

I had no pain relief apart from a bit of gas and air at the very start.

I was home 6 hours later , and the next day out walking the dogs with my new baby

I looked in mirror to see damage done and it looked exactly as it had before I couldnt even see any stitches

The only discomfort I had was my bum, kinda felt like is been kicked up the bottom for a few days but was just mild discomfort which went away after 3 days

I was not remotely ttraumatised by the experience and 6 months later I swear I'd give birth 10 times over rather than endure 9 months of pregnancy again

And this is coming from someone who was utterly terrified at the thought of it, so much so on morning of induction I was in floods of tears refusing to go in ....I did go in the end what choice did I have the baby was coming out one way or another :-)
Fear of it's really not that bad

[TarkaTheOtter]

Mentally I was fine after the birth (although three years of sleep deprivation has had some effect on my mental state).

Tearing was the thing I was most worried about first time round. I did end up with an extended second degree tear and was stitched up by doctor not midwife (although I avoided theatre). But amazingly it never hurt and has never given me any bother.

[tilder]

I have three, all hospital births. First was induced early. All three were vaginal delivery, gas ans air. No tears. No physical change, apart from saggy undercarriage ans a few stretch marks. Plus my boobs have lost that rounded look unless I wear a good bra

So pretty straight forward really. I honestly think straight forward labour is the moat common. It's just not talked about as much. I did do perineal massage though as I really didn't want to tear. I have no idea if it makes a difference, but made me feel I was doing something.

Best wishes with your twins. Prepare for the labour but don't forget its only a small part of what is to come!

[Comingoutofhibernation]

I came out of it relatively unscathed. I was induced and had a very quick labour initially. DS then got stuck and was delivered by ventouse, and I had an episiotomy I was very bruised initially, but within 3 weeks it had completely healed. I can feel a slight scar there now, but everything works as it always did, and it doesn't cause any issues.

I went into labour with no idea what to expect, or how I would react to it, and didn't really have a birth plan. Like you, I just wanted to come out of it with both of us healthy. I think for me not having a birth plan was important, as it meant however things went, as long as we were both OK at the end, I didn't feel things had gone wrong.

[Salene]

Should of added no struggles afterwards, husband went back to work when baby was 6 days old he works offshore so I was on myown for 4.5 weeks and managed fine

Breastfed easily too , stil BF now and baby. Just starting solids

No baby Blues , no issues losing weight etc.

[knotswapper]

I had quite a lot of intervention, stirrups, ventouse, epidural, episiotomy and was induced - but was absolutely fine both physically and mentally. No ill effects at all and would do it again in a heartbeat. I think I was the happiest I've ever been in the year after DD's birth.

I didn't care about any of the intervention at the time, everybody was just focussed on getting DD born.

I was more traumatised by the tepid bath they ran me at midnight and the fact that I couldn't get any food after a long labour than anything else tbh.

[Whiteandbrownrabbit]

no 4th degree tear hell and many other issues

[Micah]

I was very like cumberlover.

Prepared, did all my research, very positive mentally, planned home birth.

Waters went early, mild tightenings so went in to clinic to be checked over. Found baby in distress and emcs.

Mentally I was all over the place for a long time. I'd been so sure I could do this birth thing it made me feel utterly crap when I couldn't.

[mamadoc]

I am physically and mentally pretty much unscathed after my two experiences of childbirth I think

DD hospital birth with monitoring and syntocinon drip as she was IUGR but no tearing at all (she was only 5lb though). Pain was able to be coped with with gas and air. We had to stay in hospital as she was in SCBU (that was much more traumatic than anything about the birth) and I felt a bit of a fraud as I was on a ward with a lot of women who'd had a CS and were in bed but I was up and about and felt fine.

DS MLBU with no intervention and no pain relief needed. I had a couple of stitches but I don't recall that as traumatic at all.

3yrs on from the last one I have no stretch marks, weight and body shape are pretty much the same as they were I think. Pelvic floor not really up to trampolining but fine on a day to day basis.

I don't think that is unusual. Lots of my friend with 2 or 3 children don't appear battle scarred to me from the experience.

[Orangeisthenewbanana]

I had a second degree tear but apart from occasional feelings of possibly a small prolapse (which gets better when I am more conscientious about doing my pelvic floor exercises ), I have no other issues or concerns. My delivery went ok for a first time, except for an awful moment when they told me I'd have to wait 90 minutes for an epidural Fortunately, when they examined me again I'd gone from 4cm to 10cm in 2 hours, so didn't end up having one anyway! I also didn't care at the time about any interventions they needed to do, just wanted to rest by that point! I had a venteuse for about 2 pushes.

[Shakey1500]

Whitebrownrabbit Same here, 4th degree tear and 7 years down the line headed or more surgery for prolapses.

[Bohemond]

Totally unscathed - but I did go into birth with no expectations whatsoever.
30 hr induction with not much gong on; very bored.
Sudden placental abruption with v fast and painful contractions; gas and air hardly touching the sides. Panic buttons and flying through corridors.
EMCS at 1am; back on ward by 3. Haven't looked back.

[Balderdabble]

Another one totally unscathed here. Giving birth hurts and I had stitches for some tearing. And then I had the most amazing little person to adore and raise. Any ongoing healing was minor and paled into insignificance in comparison.