2nd birth following a traumatic first time

[babybear9]

Hello, does anyone have any positive birth stories after a traumatic first time round?!
I'm pregnant for the second time and already having nightmares about dying in childbirth! I had an induction last time, episotomy, rushed in halfway through for a caesarean and they then changed their minds and i got taken back out, forceps, son's eyelid permanently damaged as a result, a 3rd degree tear and then a massive haemorage (2.5 litres) which led to emergency buzzers, oxygen masks, blood transfusion etc and me being in intensive care for the first 48hrs after the birth.
Needless to say I'm pretty terrified about giving birth again and tempted to go for an elective CS but that is also quite scary!!
Would love to hear from anyone who had a terrible time first time round and went on to have a better time next time round!! thanks

[ElviraCondomine]

I do!
Failed induction with DD1 at 42 weeks eventually led to an EMCS for deep transverse arrest (head presents at wrong angle into pelvis and baby gets stuck, basically!) after 30 bloody awful hours. I vomited continuously throughout labour, needed a drip, passed out through dehydration and pain, and ended up with a spinal, which I really didn't want (and almost certainly contributed to the presentation issues.) The midwives and doctor actually stood arguing at the end of the bed about how to proceed, and the midwife waited until the doctor was busy before calling the consultant! Then the postnatal midwives were absolutely foul, didn't answer bells, one had a go at me for asking for pain relief, saying I would have to cope when I got home (I had been out of surgery for less than 6 hours at this point)

DD2... spontaneous labour at 39+6 and a straightforward hospital VBAC 15 hours later, after using gas and air for half an hour. And she was even bigger than DD1!

[GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate]

Poor you, that sounds like you really went through it with your first! Congratulations on your impending second baby :) Have you considered asking your hospital for a debrief on your first birth? It might help you to come to terms with it and feel less fearful of doing it again. That said, if you wanted an ELCS I'm sure you'd have an easy time getting your request approved after such a stressful first experience.

What age gap are you looking at between DC? CS recovery with a school age child would probably be easier than with a toddler iyswim.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

Bloody hell, that sounds hideous, no wonder you're worried. I think you were very unlucky though, I can't imagine that that would happen twice!

My dd1 was emcs. Progressed fine and then they decided she was back to back. Amidst the confusion my epidural wore off and I had an 8lb baby stuck the wrong way round in my pelvis and no pain relief. They had to whisk me away, still screaming to theatre. I had nervous shakes for hours afterwards and couldn't even hold her. Dh had her for about four hours. I'm glossing over it, I think I blocked it out.

I was determined that the next one would be an elective cs. About half way through the pregnancy I decided to try for a natural birth. Just thought it would be a pain in the arse recovering from another cs with a toddler in tow. Made it absolutely clear to everyone that in the event of a whiff of a problem I was to be given an immediate cs.

It went fine. Dd2 was born in about an hour with absolutely no problems whatsoever. Didn't even get time for an epidural, did it all on gas and air and it was ok. Perfectly natural straightforward birth. In fact I couldn't believe how great I felt afterwards compared to first time around.

I would say go for it but make sure everybody is aware that you had problems. Ask to see your notes, if that's possible, to make sure it's all recorded.

You'll be fine. If not, come back on here and rant at me, I don't mind.

[babybear9]

Thanks ladies. I like those stories!!! I had a debrief. Was told good chance I would haemorrhage again but that they would still encourage a vaginal birth although wouldn't protest if I wanted a elcs. Problem is that scares me as much as it would be something new again and you often bleed more in a cs which is what scares me!! My little one will be 18 mnth at due date so also not ideal for running around!!

[PookBob]

First time, I had a 4th degree tear after induction. After much indecision I eventually decided on ELCS for DC2. It was a lovely experience, very calm, wonderful memories. And very quick and painless recovery. I would recommend the ELCS, and I'm a hippy at heart!

[Fairylea]

I had a terrible time having dd 1. Long story but had 67 hour labour all in all, back to back, failed epidural, ventouse delivery, lost tons of blood and midwives etc were so awful I complained about them and the hospital afterwards.

With dc 2 10 years later I had moved to a new area and fought to get an elective c section which was just wonderful. I felt so in control and calm and I found the recovery so much better. I made it clear that if they didn't grant me an elective section I would sue them for maternal distress. That seemed to work! :)

I think it's worth remembering that every birth is completely different. You just have to go with whatever you feel most comfortable. .