Planned water birth ruined by a customer ..... advise needed

(36 Posts)
Jemima1988 Sun 24-Aug-14 10:56:27

ever since i got pregnant i have wanted a water birth, i think this is the most relaxing place i could possibly be and i have heard from friends that they loved it.

until

i was serving a customer at work and like most he started up a conversation about my football shaped bump, after talking a while i told him about my planned water birth. he said as a plastic surgeon he would never recommend a water birth especially for a first child, he then went on to tell me horror stories were women have ripped "from front to back" because the midwife cant see whats happening and guide the baby out with cutting, he went on to tell me a lot of the work he does is because womens bits have been stitched up badly after a water birth.

as you can imagine this freaked me out and now i have no idea what to do with 6 weeks to go i would like to have some form of plan (even if it doesnt happen that way) the idea of a little bit of choice and control soothes me

advice anyone?

AlpacaYourThings Sun 24-Aug-14 10:58:55

Are you sure he was a plastic surgeon? Just because he said he was, doesn't mean he really was.

I've heard good things about water births, so I'm surprised by his comments

VashtaNerada Sun 24-Aug-14 11:01:21

Rubbish. Tears can happen with any birth and thankfully are rarely as serious as that. Stick to your plan (but don't be disappointed if the baby sabotages them and it ends up different to how you imagined!)

cantseemtohaveitall Sun 24-Aug-14 11:02:04

Ignore this mans comments! I had a (great) water birth with my first - and I have never heard anything like these "horror stories" from others who have had water births - I've only ever heard positive things. Do some more reading around it to put your mind at rest - but don't let this one mans ridiculous comments put you off planning for the birth you want.

orangefusion Sun 24-Aug-14 11:04:08

Talk to your midwife. By the time comes you will just want a healthy baby delivered safely and quite how it happens will probably not matter. But talk to the midwife, she will know better than the plastic surgeon (who probably only ever sees women with complications because why would they go to him if they had not?). There are risks and you need to weigh them up.

I knew a plastic surgeon who advocated high intervention episiotomy every time- but she would- she was a plastic surgeon.

JellyStrawberries Sun 24-Aug-14 11:06:13

I had a water birth and a small tear. The pool was lit from below, the midwife had a mirror and could see just fine. Sounds like this man used grotesque phrasing and was deliberately unpleasant. I've never heard that water births lead to more risk of tears and any midwife should be able to stitch when necessary perfectly well. Talk through your worries with your midwife and get her perspective - as she delivers babies on a regular basis she will be able to reassure you with the facts, not scare stories.

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Aug-14 11:07:56

Definitely talk to your MW about this - sounds like he has had some experience with the worst-case scenarios, but that doesn't make it representative of all waterbirths!

Finola1step Sun 24-Aug-14 11:10:55

Hmm.. I'm not convinced he really was a plastic surgeon. Did he refer to himself as a "plastic" surgeon? I would have thought he would use a term such as "reconstructive".

I had a water birth with my first. Was planned at home. Had pool booked for week before and after due date. DS decided to arrive 2 weeks late so pool had already been sent back.

Was very lucky that I went in to hospital and a room with a pool was available. So in I popped, thinking I would probably come out for the actually delivery.

But I was very comfortable and stayed in. Delivered ds in the water, DH picked him up and so was the first person to touch him.

I was monitored throughout and had my community midwife and a student midwife with me throughout. Was lovely. Had a small tear but it healed by itself.

So, don't give up on your dream. Discuss it more with your midwife.

And congratulations flowers

extraneous Sun 24-Aug-14 14:36:11

Doctors always see the worst cases. I know obstetricians prefer you to deliver out of water on the whole as they feel more in control, but plenty of people can and do deliver in the water. Just don't get too set on doing it your way as you have to be a bit flexible. So none of my births would have given me time to fill the pool but they still went fine.

Plastic surgeons are plastic surgeons as far as I know (and heard them referred to as such in hospital environment) I find it odd that people think the man was a liar; it's more likely he just never sees the majority of women for whom the water birth goes well, giving him a skewed perspective.

MrsCakesPrecognition Sun 24-Aug-14 14:55:12

He sounds like a lying, misogynistic wanker. On the off chance that he might be a doctor of some sort, peddling scare stories to a pregnant woman whom he doesn't know was unprofessional, cruel and careless.
Speak to your MW or consultant for a sensible discussion of your personal birth plan.

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark Sun 24-Aug-14 15:03:05

Just so you know you can get out of the pool to give birth. I was in the water for 5 hours for pain relief (was amazing compared to previous labour) but got out for the pushing phase, for some reason I just didn't feel like it.
Discuss with your midwife and ignore random strangers!
Good luck

Frontier Sun 24-Aug-14 15:04:42

I'd be amazed if a real doctor would speak to a stranger like that. And yes, they don't call themselves plastic surgeons, do they?

MmeMorrible Sun 24-Aug-14 15:09:32

Remember that if he is a specialist reconstructive gynae surgeon (?) then a the majority of his work will involve the small % of cases where extensive reconstructive surgery is required. Normal deliveries, or small tears will not feature in his workload and he will therefore have a skewed view of birth outcomes.

Castlemilk Sun 24-Aug-14 15:13:32

grin that is absolute rubbish

BeckyBusto Sun 24-Aug-14 16:36:24

What kind of freak says this kind of stuff?! Plastic surgeon my wobbly unliposuctioned arse. Don't gynaes and obs stitch you back up if it's all gone pear shaped? Who is this weirdy who thought it ok to discuss your fanjo with you?!
Agree with pp - doctors only see the worst cases. All those water births that went swimmingly (baboom tish! ) a doctor would know little about.

Total and utter rubbish.

On the contrary, water births can reduce the chance of tearing etc.

I've never managed to labour or deliver in water (fast births), but one of the reasons I had wanted to and planned to was to facilitate a VBAC. As it happened it all worked even without water, lucky me grin.

Ignore, ignore, ignore and discuss with your MW if you are still worried.

"Less tearing and episiotomies.
Although not all studies support this, there appears to be 12-18% decrease in tears for first time mothers who give birth in the water. The most startling finding is the dramatic reduction in episiotomy rates for women who give birth in the bath. This shows how protective the water can be against unnecessary interventions. (It is very hard for a caregiver to perform an episiotomy on you in the bath!). The physical reasons for less tearing could be attributed to the water softening or making the perineum more flexible, but more likely to be the warm water allowing the mother to relax her perineum more effectively, increasing the ability for it to stretch."

From here

scottishmummy Sun 24-Aug-14 16:43:46

You'll not get the advice or reassurance you require from a diner,you'll not get it on mn either
you will get it in a face to face consultation with mw and/or consultant
Plan with professionals who know you,know your clinical profile.and best wishes

lancaster Sun 24-Aug-14 16:57:58

Slight derailment but plastic surgeons are always called plastic surgeons - why wouldn't they be?

scottishmummy Sun 24-Aug-14 17:05:32

Yes,it's plastics - who said it wasn't

squizita Sun 24-Aug-14 18:32:25

I was recommended to try a water birth by a gynie consultant (very risk averse). I doubt very much he would suggest it if there were extra risks. In fact he said in his experience it reduced the need for cuts and stitches.

pinkteapots Sun 24-Aug-14 20:26:39

I asked for a water birth for my 4th dc. It was lovely, but slowed down my labour, so after enjoying the reduction in pain and frequency etc I decided to get out and laboured on my feet. Got back in to deliver. I cant say it hurt much less than the previous 3, but it felt a bit more 'private' somehow. All 4 babies were a good size (between 8lb 6oz and 9lb 10oz) but I tore least with the water birth and he wasnt my smallest.

I agree with PPs, firstly he would see the worst case scenarios, and secondly its very inconsiderate and unprofessional (and kinda odd), to talk to a person who is planning something pretty normal and give her the horror stories. Sounds dumb if he didnt realise, and mean if he did realise.

Talk to your midwife. But i'd forget his cpmments and make your mind up on sound advice, not scare stories from strangers...

Congratulations btw!

LittleBearPad Sun 24-Aug-14 20:29:56

Agree with others. He's only going to see women after a tricky delivery. He will never see all the women who have non-complicated deliveries.

SM is right. Talk to your midwife about the concerns he's triggered in you. She will probably be able to provide some balance for water/non-water births.

Good luck.

Wolfiefan Sun 24-Aug-14 20:37:19

I'm guessing you'd have to get out if a cut was deemed necessary.
My first was a water birth. Small tear that healed very well.

NellysKnickers Sun 24-Aug-14 20:47:25

I tore more with my water birth than the previous one, but thats because I pushed when mw told me not to and dc2 was a whopper smile Trust your midwife and listen to her. You will be fine. Ignore twatty customers.

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