Second birth 'complacency'

(11 Posts)
vallinnapod Fri 01-Aug-14 22:09:36

I had an easy, quick birth with my DS. I am hoping to have a HB this time and am assuming it will be quicker and as easy. Every now and again I do have the 'what if' panic...what if I am over due/get GD/baby's breech/meconium in the water etc...

So, come on. Share the good and bad! If you had an easy first birth, how did your second compare?

TIA grin

Gamonsharon Sat 02-Aug-14 12:00:55

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Fairypants Sat 02-Aug-14 12:08:23

I was in your position and it all went exactly according to plangrin
Straightforward first hospital birth followed by straightforward (quicker and easier) second home birth.
I'm now planning another HB for dc3 but she's currently back to back so trying to get my head round the idea that it could actually be worse than the other twoconfused

vallinnapod Sat 02-Aug-14 13:34:18

Thanks!! My area has a FB HB group and a monthly meet up which I shall head to.

LizzieMint Sat 02-Aug-14 13:36:54

I had that too! My first was induced on the drip but even so it was a fast, easy birth with only g&a. I spent a long time worrying during my second pregnancy that it had only been so easy because of the induction (which is usually the opposite of what happens!).
It wasn't, second time was a lovely peaceful home water birth, not quite as quick (4 hours start to finish) but very easy and with no pain relief needed.
Third time also went the same. ;)

Wolfiefan Sat 02-Aug-14 13:39:38

First was straightforward water birth 2 1/2 hours after I went to hospital.
Second was planned water birth. DD had other ideas. I had to go to hospital due to bleeding. VVVV quick labour once there. (Less than an hour from start to finish!!)

parallax80 Sun 03-Aug-14 12:23:08

As long as you have faith in yourself and your body you will achieve your goal.

This is just not a true statement. Obviously positive thinking can contribute to outcomes, but there are a whole range of (thankfully mostly rare) labour complications that have absolutely nothing to do with how much faith you might or might not have had in your body.

Of course that's not a reason not to have a home birth and hopefully everything will go smoothly for OP but it's just not true (and potentially very distressing for women who have had complicated deliveries) to suggest that faith is the only thing that matters.

squizita Sun 03-Aug-14 12:40:45

I agree paralla.

This kind of comment can also be incredibly triggering, guilt inducing and insulting to women with existing health issues meaning they need 'medicalised' births/pregnancies or women who have suffered miscarriage or stillbirth. Women who basically would be childless in the past.

You wouldn't say to someone who is partially sighted, diabetic or similar that PMA can make them see or regulate their blood sugar would you?
PMA can help people deal with challenging situations, but suggesting it is a 'cure all' implies that those of us who aren't lucky enough to have 'perfect bodies' are just not trying hard enough.

tobeabat Sun 03-Aug-14 12:45:46

Agree too. Note also the rest of the post - it's basically a clumsy segue to an advert for paid private midwifery.

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg Sun 03-Aug-14 15:18:42

Second vaginal births are generally easier, simply because your body has done it before. But whilst recognising that, I think all you can really do is prepare a positive outlook to all birth outcomes.

Positive outlook and preparation were what helped my friend. After a straightforward first birth, she had a placental abruption and crash section with her second (this is very rare. I am not trying to scare you). But she is able to see both births in positive and upbeat terms. smile

weebairn Sun 03-Aug-14 18:55:17

I had a tough, long, straightforward first birth.

Really hoping for the "quick,easy" bit to kick in for the 2nd grin

I am 95% complacent and 5% "oh god, what if!"

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