Mardy midwife

(7 Posts)
andrea298 Tue 08-Jul-14 22:13:37

I'm 38 weeks with my second child. Last time round, my labour started at 9:30 at night with contractions at around 20 mins apart. They gradually got closer and I gave birth at 8:16 the night after. So when I started getting contractions at 3am yesterday at around 20 mins apart, by 9am I was thinking I might be in labour again as it seemed very similar.

I didn't want to drag my husband out of work and across town, so I phoned the midwife office and the lady there suggested I go to a midwife drop in to check, which I did. But the midwife I encountered there was really off with me and spoke to me like I was a child. She said "you're not in labour unless they're 5 minutes apart", which is fine if that's what they say, but kinda makes it difficult as isn't that also when you're meant to go to hospital? My parents have an hour drive to collect my son, and we have no one else closer we can send our son to so I kinda just needed to know. Also, when I said to her that this (as in regular contractions for that long which wasn't labour) hadn't happened last time, she misunderstood and just said "well then you're not in labour are you?". She clearly didn't want to actually listen to what I had to say, and just wanted me out of her sight!

I just really hope she's not delivering my child, I'd tell her to get out!

PicandMinx Tue 08-Jul-14 22:37:44

What a women needs when she is worried about possible contractions, is a caring, compassionate MW that is "women centred". It would appear that this MW is in the wrong job! On the plus side OP, you know who to avoid when you have your baby grin

smellyfishead Tue 08-Jul-14 22:43:20

bah ignore! you will know when its time and that youre def in labour.

fwiw with all of mine, contractions have been much less than 5 mins apart for the last 10 hours of labour!! - everybody labours differently!

Mrsgrumble Tue 08-Jul-14 22:48:00

That's awful. In my first pregnancy I had pains but couldn't really tell was In proper labour or not so I rang and dh were lovely but told me to wait. About an hour later I was still worried so went in and they welcomed me and didn't make me feel silly at all. Made dh and myself toast and luckily had a room. Literally a few mins later, the pains came.

They need to reassure you, not make you feel a nuisance.

Notso Tue 08-Jul-14 23:04:58

With DC4 my contractions were only 10 mins apart, I only had about 4 then he was born. We didn't make it to the hospital as the midwife told me not to come in until they were 5 mins apart even though I knew I was in full labour and DC3 was a quick birth.

Good luck and hopefully you will get a lovely considerate MW.

andrea298 Wed 09-Jul-14 09:05:33

Ah thanks everyone, glad to know I wasn't being irrational! I really hope I get someone who is supportive, I didn't have a great experience last time round which was made worse by no one spotting he had a tongue tie (which made bf painful and almost impossible! Lasted 3 weeks before I gave up). Gonna refuse to leave the hospital until this ones been checked over properly this time!!!

DifferentNow Wed 09-Jul-14 09:23:44

Please ask for a different midwife during your labour if you don't feel you're getting along with the one you have. I have 5 DC and haven't always had great experiences with the midwifes I've had and it's definitely had an impact on the way my labour has progressed. I wish now that I'd had the confidence to speak up. I am hoping to train as a midwife now myself.

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