Bridesmaid at 39 weeks - advice needed if I go into labour a week early!

(42 Posts)
Egog Tue 03-Jun-14 14:23:04

Just wanted to ask on here before asking the MW as I'm trying to be prepared in case things don't go as planned...

I live in Birmingham, and am a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding when I am exactly 39 weeks pregnant - in London. Statistically, as this is my first, I'm probably going to go a bit over but just in case I don't, I'm after a bit of advice as to what to do if I go into labour the weekend of her wedding.

We are taking the hospital bag/notes/car seat with us just in case, but I'm more thinking about what to do if the baby looks like it's coming without time to get back to Brum - should I just call the nearest hospital with a maternity unit and rock up in labour, or is there something else I should do?

Thanks in advance, and any stories of anyone experiencing similar would help put my mind at rest!

Viviennemary Tue 03-Jun-14 14:29:07

The only sensible thing to do would be not to go to London. Unless you want to be an absolute nuisance to the Health Service, your family and everybody else.

Egog Tue 03-Jun-14 14:34:20

Thanks, that's really helpful.

Chipandspuds Tue 03-Jun-14 14:36:32

I'd ring up your community midwife and ask what would happen if you were to go into labour in London just in case. If it's any reassurance my mw told me first babies are 1 week late on average!

ClaimedByMe Tue 03-Jun-14 14:37:03

I would find out the details of the nearest hospital with maternity unit to where you are staying and have their details handy 'just in case'

BrianTheMole Tue 03-Jun-14 14:37:25

Not sure really. Can you ring the local maternity unit nearest to the wedding and ask them? I assume you would have to just rock up, but if they were aware it might be more helpful to them.

AnnoyedByAlfieBear Tue 03-Jun-14 14:37:42

I had ds at 34 weeks whilst away from home. I just rocked up to the nearest hospital with my notes. It was a massive pain co-ordinating MW for aftercare / home visits.

stopbeingsilly Tue 03-Jun-14 14:38:00

Agreed, that wasn't helpful, but surely you've discussed this with your midwife? He or she may not approve (like the previous poster) but that's irrelevant, and they're certainly the best-placed person to give you advice.

Scotslasslivinginfrance Tue 03-Jun-14 14:38:09

Phone the maternity unit closest to the wedding to advise them of your situation and discuss with them a plan b. It's not uncommon but you will be less stressed if you have spoken it over with them beforehand. Best of luck...

Egog Tue 03-Jun-14 14:39:39

Chip - I'm seeing her on Thursday, so I'll ask her then. I'm expecting a little tardiness to be honest (I was 2 weeks late, if that can be used as an indicator at all!) but am just trying to be as prepared as possible!

Claimed - I've got a list with phone numbers, postcodes etc radiating out from where we are staying - hopefully I won't need to use it!

katandkits Tue 03-Jun-14 14:41:34

Yes, if you do go your only choice would be to rock up at the closest hospital. Take advice from your doctor or midwife about whether you are safe to travel nearer the time.

Of course you want to go, it is a special occasion. She is your sister. I'm sure if it was just a cousin you'd stay home but a sister is different. The odds of you delivering on that particular day are probably about 3%. But if it did happen you would be in a hospital away from home which wouldn't be great. And of course there is a chance of your waters breaking half way down the m1 but that is equally unlikely.

Make sure you get hospital phone numbers just in case.

georgeousgeorge Tue 03-Jun-14 14:43:29

found these stats on t'interweb

1. Only 6% of women give birth on their due date
2. One-third of women give birth 3 days either side of their due date
3. Which jumps up to two-thirds one week either side of their due date
So, 65% of women give birth within 7 days of their EDD. Reassuring!
4. 20% of women give birth 2 weeks of more early; but only 16% 2 weeks of more late.

And, 48% of women give birth 'early' (before their EDD) than late; 46% 'late'.
So, there is in fact slightly more chance to give birth early, than late.

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg Tue 03-Jun-14 14:47:13

Do also make sure you've thought through the realities if things don't go to plan with the birth and you and/or the baby have to stay in hospital for a short or longer time.

EverythingCounts Tue 03-Jun-14 14:47:32

I would travel down as close to the ceremony itself as possible and return home as soon as you can afterwards, to reduce the likelihood of giving birth away from home. Does your sister have other bridesmaids who can help her get ready?

beccajoh Tue 03-Jun-14 14:47:48

You can go to the nearest hospital if needs be. There's nothing to stop you turning up, much like if you needed to go to A&E.

Egog Tue 03-Jun-14 14:49:28

Thanks for comments.

Obviously, it's still a little way off yet, and if the MW advises against going, I won't travel. If your stats play out right George it might be a moot point if baby has already arrived.

AnnoyedbyAlfie - I would expect complications paperwork wise if it does come down to me having the baby somewhere else, hope it wasn't too much of a pain for you with an early baby too!

slithytove Tue 03-Jun-14 14:52:01

What happens if you've already had baby?

I've got a concert to go to two days after my due date grin my friends were not impressed when I told them!

Egog Tue 03-Jun-14 14:57:32

Penguins - that's a good point. Luckily I've got family in London (hence the wedding being held there) so there are places for DH to stay should I need to be kept in.

My sister's been great, I pretty much don't have to do anything except show up in the morning, have my hair blowdried and waddle down the aisle. Lots of other people to help her get ready, and she's booked me into the hotel the wedding is at so I can go lie down if needs be. She just wants me there, and obviously circumstances permitting, I hope to be there too!

Slithy - that's a good question. I think it would depend on the birth, health of me and baby and lots of other factors (sleep deprivation/stitches etc) that I'm probably happily unaware of as yet. I hope you make your concert!

slithytove Tue 03-Jun-14 15:02:06

Me too, it's backstage tickets!

Friends are worried it'll send me into labour lol. Luckily it's only 45 mins from my house and an hour from my hospital.

Shedding Tue 03-Jun-14 15:19:00

It won't be too bad going to a different hospital if you're relaxed about it and have your records. Especially in a big city, women from different trusts will delivery and go home across borders or to family all the time so they'll be set up to communicate with different comunity MW teams. We always make quite a fuss of women who this happens to where I work and I find your optimism refreshing!

maxbear Tue 03-Jun-14 16:07:52

Hi! One of the first births I had as a student midwife was a lady who had come from a different area for her sisters wedding (on her due date!) She missed the wedding but was delighted to have given birth in the same town that she had been born in.

It is not too uncommon to have women who are 'booked' elsewhere to come and deliver with us, although it can be a little fiddly with paperwork at times it is not a massive problem. All you need to do is have the phone number of the local maternity bleep holder or the labour ward handy. The most difficult thing to happen is when women turn up in labour without phoning, it throws us if it is busy, just ten - fifteen minutes warning makes all the difference and means we can be sure to get a room ready. Of course you should make every effort to go to your sisters wedding, it really won't be a massive issue if it does happen that day, if you have already had the baby, get a wrap sling so that you can keep little one close, it gives you an excuse to not pass your very young baby around all the family which might cause him/her to be unsettled and expose it to lots of germs!

Hope you all have a great day grin

Egog Tue 03-Jun-14 16:14:48

Shedding and Maxbear - thank you for such positive comments!

Should the baby want to arrive that weekend I plan to give the hospital we'll head to as much notice as possible - I figure there's less stress for everyone involved that way. I've already bought a wrap, practising with a teddy has gotten me strange looks from DH, but never mind!

Now just to hope baby hangs on in there long enough to get back home. I already feel a little more confident that if the worst happens, with a bit of planning I won't end up giving birth in the middle of the evening reception!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Tue 03-Jun-14 16:33:00

Very helpful first response. Not.

Firstly - where in London (general area) is the wedding and where are the relatives based that DH would be crashing with?

My waters broke the first time at 39+1. Gentle labour started about 5 hrs after they broke. I went into the delivery unit when my waters broke, it was confirmed that I wasn't suddenly incontinent and I was told to come back when things were a bit more exciting. I went in to be checked as they log the time and if nothing is happening after 48 hrs they like to move things along with induction in case of infection.

I would decide on a hospital, print out maps and get the local numbers etc. If you want to be super organised - find the location of the nearest baby store/large Boots for bits and pieces.
I would stock up on some nice thin maternity towels with wings. If you were really bullish, you could be at the wedding pending full labour so you'll need something to contain the leaking. One pad per 30 mins or so - I went through all my post natal stock while waiting to go into labour. DH brought me horrid 1/2 inch thick ones from Mothercare - like something from the 1930's.
Tens machine and basically all the gubbins that you would have brought to hospital anyway.
Definitely bring your Day 2 bag to London - the "just in case you have to stay in for a few days" (baby with jaundice, you with EMCS)
Phone charger
Spectacles - I couldn't read a text message my eyes were so tired after two nights in hospital.
Camera - St Thomas's overlooks Westminster - if you get lucky and get a room with a view it will be a lovely souvenir for DC1.
iPad with SIM for a Facetime/Skype message from the labour ward to your sister and her guests [just joking]

Birmingham is about 3 hrs drive from north London?? Dark towel for the back seat (where you'll be sitting on the way home) or Pampers disposable changing mats are great. Plan in lots of rest stops on the way home. DH will need to understand that post labour when "you've gotta go, you've GOT TO GO!" It gets better quite quickly but I found that I wasn't incontinent, I just couldn't hold it like I used to and was terrified of what might arrive with a small fart !

Fingers crossed the wedding all goes well and DC1 makes a convenient for all arrival. Best of luck.

PS - if you need an EMCS they will want to remove your nail varnish. It's helpful if it's not the permanent type.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 03-Jun-14 17:08:42

I was two weeks late. DS was born at 38 weeks, it just doesn't follow I'm afraid.

Where in London is the wedding? I can help with that bit.

Viviennemary Tue 03-Jun-14 17:10:33

I'm sorry I was unhelpful. I just thought it was easier not to go under the circumstances but should have said it in a more kind and tactful way. Just take the advice of your midwife. I apologise.

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