ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.

Very much looking forward to birth!

(286 Posts)
Snowlet Mon 24-Mar-14 09:35:52

Right, let's fill this thread with positivity.

I feel empowered, educated, calm, at peace with what my body was born to do and ready to not feel like a truck anymore! (which is so sad because I'm only 29 weeks)

Whatever we'd like our birth plans/preferences to be, whatever choices we make, I'd love for every woman to feel that they are HERS, that she is powerful and that her wishes are important.

It does matter what you want, you should picture your 'perfect' birth over and over again and you can't receive what you don't ask for.

So then, is anyone else looking forward to labour and birth as the unique, life changing experience it will undoubtedly be?

fgr Mon 24-Mar-14 12:42:12

Swwet Jesus, is this your first?

KefaloniaBaby Mon 24-Mar-14 12:52:10

<fingers itching>

Nope, not going to do it.

Hope you get the birth you want, OP. smile

I hope you get the birth you want but be open to the fact that things might not go the way you want. My first birth was quite traumatic. My second birth was amazing and couldn't have gone more perfectly.

fgr Mon 24-Mar-14 12:56:45

Time for a sit down and a brew

iamusuallybeingunreasonable Mon 24-Mar-14 12:59:18

Just wait til you have done it love before getting all preachy

I'm waiting for my second to arrive and personally feel comfortable being wary and a bit fearful given my first

It's not all NCT class style back rubs and breathing through it, some of us don't embrace pain smile

Fiveleaves Mon 24-Mar-14 13:00:59

Doing hypnobirthing, daily yoga and reading positive birth literature gave me this positive outlook las time and I'm glad I wasn't scared of birth. Particularly given how things turned out...a bit more realistic this time. Turned out my hypnobirthing teacher had never given birth...

Some women are lucky though and have a textbook birth. Hoping that will be me.

Not biting.
I hope you get the birth you want OP. smile

isisisis Mon 24-Mar-14 13:04:41

I agree that all women should be educated & empowered around pregnancy & birth & it's fantastic that that's how you feel. However, I have trouble with picturing the perfect birth. I feel that this, whilst trying to be a positive experience, can ultimately lead to setting a woman up for failure if things don't go exactly to her perfect plan.
I think education & a positive but flexible attitude serves most women well before, during & after the birth.

whereisthewitch Mon 24-Mar-14 13:05:48

Dueymy second in 12 weeks and I'm petrified. ..hoping it stays in there as long as possible grin

OP it's good to be positive but I think yhe attitude 'what will be will be' is much better when it comes to childbirth. I went with the flow, ended up with an epidural, episiotomy and ventouse but I had planned on a waterbirth with no pain relief. Just didn't work out like that for me.
this time I'll leave my expectations at the door.

ItsNotUnusualToBe Mon 24-Mar-14 13:06:50

I have had 4 wonderful births - 3 in particular were fantastic experiences.

I hope you have the birth you want.

KefaloniaBaby Mon 24-Mar-14 13:08:20

Oh, fuck it.

I'm going to assume this is your first.

Labour isn't life changing. It's the baby that they hand you at the end of it that's life changing.

Labour is just a day. Or two.

Oh, and if your baby is big, and back to back, and completely stuck, it doesn't matter what you've 'asked for'. You'll be fucking grateful that someone gives you an episiotomy in order to get the baby out and keep you both safe and healthy.

Ohh gawwwd that feels so much better.

The thing that helped me to stay positive in the lead-up to my first was the thought: Nobody had to teach my body to MAKE this baby, so presumably it also knows how to get it out!!
Good luck, ladies. Keep moving, stay off that bed!

Jollyb Mon 24-Mar-14 13:08:31

I had a fantastic second birth - an elective sectionsmile

Good luck OP

JabberJabberJay Mon 24-Mar-14 13:09:19

Good for you OP.

I had a lovely lovely birth with DD1. Everything was the way I wanted it to be. It was very calm and not that painful really (I managed with just TENS).

I'd done lots of positive preparation. BUT I realise that I was also very lucky. I had a small, well-positioned baby. I was fortunate that labour progressed quickly.

Good luck OP. I hope things go well for you. But there is an element of luck in every birth and positive thinking and preparation isn't always enough unfortunately as I found out when DD2 was born.

NaturalBaby Mon 24-Mar-14 13:09:44

I felt like this for my 1st. It was fantastic and I couldn't wait to do it again. My hypnobirthing teacher had never given birth either but she was still a great teacher, much better than my NCT course.
I'm still desperate to do it again.
I feel like a weirdo saying it but I do.

Also staying calm, positive and praying for a straightforward birth Owlet - or at least the strength to cope well if it all goes awry.

I'm definately naive but the alternative of being shit scared for the last few weeks of my first pregnancy just doesn't appeal.

Snowlet, not Owlet blush

zoemaguire Mon 24-Mar-14 13:13:41

I had a good friend who I recall telling me she was well up for labour pain, that if you were scared it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy etc. I said nothing. One horrible forceps delivery later, I hope she realised that not all those with less than perfect births had them because of failed visualisation techniques. Op I hope you get the birth you want, but remember that's what every woman wants, and it is no failure of effort or will if it doesn't happen.

mrsbug Mon 24-Mar-14 13:17:19

I hope you have the birth you want.

however please don't get too hung up on having the 'perfect birth' as so much of it will be out of your control.

its better to be positive than to be terrified of birth at the other extreme, but please remember that at the end of the day a relatively large baby is going to come out of a relatively small hole and that isn't going to be as much fun as, say, a nice relaxing day at the spa.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 24-Mar-14 13:20:38

Oh. Dear. God.

Your choices will not always be yours, your body and your baby may decide otherwise. This will not be your fault, you could not have tried harder, or read a different book.

Birth is what it is, a means of bringing a baby into the world. That is it.

zoemaguire Mon 24-Mar-14 13:21:15

And I'm sorry, I'm biting too. 'You can't receive what you don't ask for'?! Um, birth is not a gift from the sky, it is a biological process, and the natural order of things is, well, a lot of babies and women who don't make it through. Luckily we have modern medicine to help when things go wrong, so the reason we can now expect with fair certainty to get through it alive is not god or nature, but science. If things go right, you will have been lucky, it has nothing to do with 'asking' anyone anything.

minipie Mon 24-Mar-14 13:24:33

I have mixed feelings about the "power of positivity".

If your baby is the right size and position and your body is the right shape to give birth.... positive thinking and hypnobirthing can do wonders.

If there is something not quite right with the position/size/shape of your pelvis/efficacy of contractions ... positive thinking ain't going to cut it.

Unfortunately there is no way of knowing in advance whether you are in the first or the second category. OP, I hope you are in the first category, but have a back up plan in case you are not.

My plan was to try to manage with G&A and hypno techniques if all looked straightforward, but I would want an epidural if I was induced/back to back/transverse etc.

Snowlet Mon 24-Mar-14 13:25:51

Haha oh man! Some people are a tad bit patronising eh?

Yes it's bloody well my first and I don't care if I end up with a crash section or anything in-between, the point is I cannot see any downside to positive visualisation, education and empowerment, especially if it makes me feel amazing for the next 10 LONG weeks, instead of full of worry, dread and fear.

Good luck to everyone and thanks to those who have added to the positivity, definitely means something to me and possibly to others!

Amrapaali Mon 24-Mar-14 13:26:37

Ha, ha ha.... [shakes head at Snow's naivete]

I am impressed at your optimism, OP. But I do like that you mentioned "Whatever choices we make..." This of course,will include a labour and birth with drugs and medical intervention as much as a completely natural water birth.

Also remember you can make choices. But don't be disappointed if your choices or decisions don't translate into reality.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now