Will try to keep this brief 
I had a very traumatic birth with my DD, now 2 years old. It was a long induced labour, three hour pushing stage and ended in EMCS due to her being in what I am told is a rather rare position (brow presentation). I then suffered a 2.5l PPH, went into shock on operating table, nearly died, missed out on proper skin to skin, ad nauseam. Suffered PND and PTSD as a result.
Was told by midwife shortly after the birth that an ELCS would be 'no problem, a dead cert' for me if I were ever to have another child. Two years later, we've relocated, now with a different hospital trust and am finding them completely lacking in compassion and being utterly obstructive with regard to my desire to have an ELCS.
Am now 27 weeks and will be 29 at my mandated appointment with consultant midwife to 'discuss my options'. I am determined to leave this appointment with my ELCS agreed firmly and, ideally, a date booked for the section too. I know this is perfectly possible from the research I have done and threads I have read on here, but my midwife (one of many -- I have had zero continuity of care but that's another story) refuses to accept this.
I really want to go to this appointment armed with all the information possible to ensure the best outcome for me and my baby. I am satisfied, 100% that a VBAC is not right for me, so please, if anyone can advise on 'negotiating' my ELCS it would be so so helpful.
As an aside, I have also experienced what might be serious failings with the care given to me during this pregnancy. I was supposed to be consultant-led due to the birth trauma and previous RMC but have heard nothing. Might this also be relevant?
Many thanks to anyone who can lend their knowledge and experience. 
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Childbirth
Appt to discuss ELCS imminently -- nervous and in need of advice?
wrapsuperstar · 17/03/2014 16:45
Wow, thank you, thank you to everybody who has taken the time to read my post and reply with such excellent food for thought.
It's very reassuring to hear from those of you who have been treated with at least a degree of compassion and respect for your birth choices. I will take heart from that and hope that despite the treatment I have had so far, I might be more fortunate at the next appointment. I don't want to treat this as a battle by any means, I just feel very disheartened by the progress so far.
One problem for me is I have severe hospital anxiety following my previous birth experience. I also don't particularly enjoy the company of midwives. For me, getting the ELCS agreed and booked as soon as possible, without further hoops to jump through and anxiety-inducing appointments to attend, is the only bearable outcome I can think of. I just need to think of a way of putting this diplomatically so I don't run the risk of pissing off alienating the very people who have the power to make decisions for me.
One thing I have taken from your replies is that my absolute lack of consultant-led care is totally unacceptable. This is something I will start to tackle immediately, perhaps my poor treatment up to now might even work in my favour when it comes to negotiating my ongoing care.
Many thanks again for all your input.
Just checking back in. Had my appointment today and the outcome was, ultimately, pretty good. I have had my section signed off and will be getting a letter with a date on by the end of the week.
As anticipated, the VBAC angle was very strong. I was firm about having done my own research on risks vs benefits and, I think, convinced the consultant midwife that I knew what I was on about! As part of my desire for ELCS was due to birth trauma/anxiety, she did push the idea of me exploring counselling and even hypnotherapy. I said I was happy to consider counselling as part of a bigger mental health picture, but it wouldn't change what I wanted for this delivery especially with only 10 weeks to go. Strangely, and I think pretty poorly actually, I think the fact that this will be my second and most definitely last baby helped swing it somewhat. The tone of the appointment changed slightly when I said that my DP had recently had the snip and that I felt so strongly I would consider sterilisation too, just to be sure.
She also tried to overwhelm me with risks to the baby. I was prepared for this, had the NICE stats and also had done some research on 'natural' caesarians which can help mitigate the small chance of respiratory difficulties in newborns delivered this way. Think that was my opportunity to have her on the back foot a bit actually. 
All in all, she was very nice and understanding. It wasn't the battle I thought it would be and I felt like my views were treated with respect and compassion. I hope this will help any others going into this situation. Thanks again for all your support.
Congratulations OP on getting your section signed off.
I do think that it's sad that women have to "battle" with HCP to get the birth they want.
Good luck
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