Do fathers have a legal right to be at the birth?

(86 Posts)
Mummy2014 Sun 05-Jan-14 22:14:45

Just above really.

My ex left me at 7 months, but still wants to be involved with the baby. My due date is Wednesday & I have always said his actions between him leaving & when I go into labour would determine whether he was at the birth or not. Well, he's been very hot & cold with me, supportive 1 minute, ignoring my messages the next.
At present I don't feel like I want him at the birth, but when I said this to him he said I have no right to not allow him, and by doing that I am refusing to let him see his child. Which I am not!
My feelings after the birth do not matter, it's what's best for our child & I have always wanted them to have contact & a stong relationship!

He has been threatening to take me to court etc if he is not allowed at the birth, Would / could this go against me if it gets that far?

Sorry for the rant / long winded message

Xx

PinkandGreenStripes Wed 08-Jan-14 17:24:00

Good luck OP.

MrsPatMustard Sat 11-Jan-14 09:01:45

My midwife told me that excessive anxiety can cause labour to stall because it floods your body with the wrong kind of hormones - therefore, if having him there is going to ramp up your level of stress, you've got every right to say 'no'. It's your body and your labour and you want the process to go as smoothly as possible...

Mummy2014 Sat 11-Jan-14 10:21:37

Thank you all.

3 days overdue now! wonder if him stressing me out now is making this baby stall in coming out? Daily messages saying I'm a bitch etc, he doesn't realise all he is doing is making me believe him not being there is 100% the right decision.
Xx

TheDoctrineOf2014 Sat 11-Jan-14 10:31:14

Mummy, 3 days overdue is very common, don't worry!

1974rach Sat 11-Jan-14 10:59:44

So sorry he is still being a twat!

Give your phone to someone else. However make sure you are keeping his texts.

Ignore him, he's not important but you and the baby are.

Take care

JugglingBackwardsAndForwards Sat 11-Jan-14 12:41:44

Am sorry he's sending you unpleasant texts.
What an arse.
Ignore if poss. Get a new phone?

Regarding being 3 days over, some babies are just very happy where they are. Mine were 10 days and 8 days "late"
I didn't mind. They were easier to look after in than out to be honest!
But of course it's lovely when you get to meet them smile

Mummy2014 Sat 11-Jan-14 15:40:57

Oh yea, this is much much easier than having a newborn, I'm not particularly uncomfortable, I'm sleeping ok, still managing to walk the dog a few miles a day - I was expecting to feel like I was dying but for me, the end of pregnancy is proving quite easy - so far, of course it could all change very quickly.

That said - hurry up baby, I'm a little bored of waiting for you ;-) xx

Melonbreath Tue 14-Jan-14 09:42:09

He's a knob. If he's this awful and selfish now he'd be unbelievable during labour. Tell him when it's all done and you're back home, with someone there for support.
And as for night visits on a breastfeeding baby, HAHAHAHAHA! What a tool. A year on and I'm STILL on two feeds a night.
right now it's all about you, after childbirth it's all about you AND the baby. His job is support and he obviously can't do that so tell him to naff off

JugglingBackwardsAndForwards Tue 14-Jan-14 12:11:10

Well I reckon, mostly, that every day over your due date is a bit of a bonus - you're still doing a fab job of nurturing your little one, but you also get to put your feet up all day and drink a hot cup of tea - or sit in the garden eating strawberries as I remember doing on day 41+2 with dd.
Easier for me, probably easier life for her too - all cosy and warm with strawberries on tap as well grin

Of course, saying that, it will be lovely to meet your LO too thanks

Lioninthesun Tue 14-Jan-14 13:05:32

Sorry to hear he is being so childish OP. You are right though, doesn't make him win any esteem as a great father.
I think you are right re the stress making you overdue. I had the same with my ex and had to be induced because of it. Try to relax and ignore him. Good luck again for the birth!

JugglingBackwardsAndForwards Tue 14-Jan-14 14:09:44

Personally I wouldn't give him the credit in terms of saying that the stress is making you overdue.
Your baby is probably just perfectly happy where it is for now - and the EDD is just that, an estimate. It is perfectly normal to be a week or two either side of that.
And as I said at least you get to finish a hot cup of tea and sit on your backside all day (if you want to) smile

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