How many people are terrified in the third trimester??

(7 Posts)
working9while5 Sat 04-Jan-14 12:53:44

I am on my third child now and I am still bloody scared of how unpredictable it all is.

It's not the pain as such (though like, I guess, everyone I blanch a little when I read of extremes like 50 hours back to back ending in emcs or a very short but unbearable labour and of course all the awful frightening things that can arise that mean mum or baby isn't okay at the end of the pregnancy)... it's just the Not Knowing. Not knowing everything will be okay, the baby will be okay etc.

If you could tell me now that we'd both be okay at the end of it, no one would scream in my face while I was going through it and it wouldn't end in a crash scary anything I wouldn't bat an eyelid about the pain or the length etc.

I had PND etc and severe anxiety last pregnancy and I've learned loads of strategies to deal with these fears, which I use pretty well.. but I've come to realise even with a bucket load of "skills" the fear is there and increases as I go into the third trimester.. just a little soft voice saying "check the baby's moving" or "oh shit I can't do labour again".

Just wondering did everyone feel like this or is it just me!

mamachelle Sat 04-Jan-14 16:51:30

I was exactly the same with dc4, i started a thread too, and i definitely wasnt alone in being afraid!

The worst thing was i couldnt work out why. I had 3 straight forward births previously, the last two were drug free and relaxed, babies were fine, i bounced back quickly. Seriously, i was terrified for no obvious reason.

i never worked out why i felt like that but i bought a natal hypno cd to listen to and wrote detailed schedules for my other children for family/friends so i knew they wouldnt miss anything etc and the combination seemed to chill me out

Dd4s birth was easy (ish) and drug free and im now pregnant with dc5 so i cant have been that scared smile

Hope you can relax/ lose the fear soon

Im glad to have seen your thread - I was just making my way here to post the same thing blush I promise you're not alone xx

Im 33 weeks preg with my 3rd. My eldest is 8 and his birth was very traumatic (37 hours, back to back, forceps and all that jazz), it took ages before I stopped beating myself up about it or blaming myself. I was determined that he would have a sibling (Im stubborn if nothing else!) and so after talking through his birth etc we had dd 2 years later. Her birth was 'fine' though there were health concerns so I spent a lot of that pregnancy terrified she wouldn't make it when born. I had an epidural because I felt I couldn't cope, and to my mind, if things were going to go 'wrong' again and her not make it, at least I would be awake at the time sad I feared being knocked out and then coming round to be told awful news.

She was absolutely fine, and is now almost 6. Im due to give birth next month and its all rushing to the fore and keeping me awake at night about what might/could happen. Like you, I hate the not knowing. Im trying to be as prepared as I can but how prepared can you be? So far things are going ok (touch wood) and Id like this one at home, nice and gently. I just don't fancy my chances much and I don't want this fear to make things anymore uncomfortable than they have to be.

I also don't have family nearby so Im concerned about ending up needing to be rushed into hosp in the early hours, a friend says she'll be on standby to have my two so dh can come with me but I really don't like imposing on people, though of course Id want dh with me at the birth.

With my first I started having him at home until I had to go into hosp, and managed well just with breathing despite him being back to back and Im hoping to god that I can manage that way again. The midwife said if he'd been positioned 'correctly' Id have had him 'in the next couple of hours' had things not gone tits up so Im trying to focus on that. I also (perhaps naively) thought that a 3rd would be easier but since read differently on here. Think that's kicked things off a bit sad

Wishing you all the best, youre certainly not the only one that feels the way you do. xx

TobyLerone Sat 04-Jan-14 17:35:39

I'm 39+6 and have been longing to go into labour.

Then last night I thought it was all happening and was suddenly gripped by panic about the labour/delivery/safety/being a good parent... the whole lot.

It all settled down again and I'm still not sure whether it feels more like disappointment or a reprieve.

This will be DC3 for me, with an almost-13 year gap since DC2.

I'm sure it's normal, OP. At least, I bloody hope it is!

ohrubbish Sat 04-Jan-14 22:05:22

Hi I'm 37.5 weeks with dc3 and just the same. So glad to see this thread! I can't figure out why I'm so nervous this time round. I feel really unprepared. I was wondering if it's partly because it's the third time round. I haven't had the time to focus on the pregnancy this time round so don't quite feel 'ready'. I don't want to do it!!!

working9while5 Sun 05-Jan-14 13:33:25

So glad to hear this (sorry!). It can be hard to work out what is normal and not because especially on baby 3 I think everyone thinks you're an old hand at it!

I'm mainly worried about:
Super fast super painful birth
Something like pph, shoulder dystocia or baby ending up very poorly
Stillbirth

And all the normal stuff like having more kids than hands and the perennial double buggy on public transport issue!

It's not like I spend all day thinking about this stuff but I guess I thought after two I wouldn't really have the same worries which I guess makes no sense as all of these things are scary whether you're on number 1 or number 10!

Have decided to sign up for birth skills course with hypno and yoga bits an some mindfulness for five weeks just to get me in a bit more positive frame of mind!!

I'm due today and however much i want her out i'm nervous too and i'm having dc5!

Wasn't atall nervous with dc4, i personally feel it's because i feel as though i'm carrying larger and my dc have all ranged between 5lb 11-
7lb 8, so i'm scared about the possibility of pushing a larger baby outconfused. My dd3 was my most painful and needed ventouse, she was largest.

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