Planned c-section - don't want Mother in law to know the date - am I being unreasonable?

(18 Posts)
pinky27 Fri 03-Jan-14 18:38:26

Hi, Probably being irrational again but have got a date for section ( Mid-Jan) and REALLY don't want Mother in law to know the date because she has the BIGGEST MOUTH in the world and would end up telling everyone the date and I don't want that pressure of everyone texting etc on the day. Just want it to be our secret and not have a fuss about when I'm going in. Also, don't want her to turn up at the hospital on the day ( she definitely will if she knows the date). What should I do? Can't cope with her having a huff! ARRRRRRRGH bloody in-laws!

RunSantaRunQuiteFast Fri 03-Jan-14 18:40:32

No, just make up a due date / c section date some days later - I did this with my second child as was driven mad with texts and calls with the first - he was two weeks late and I was ready to kill the next caller!

elQuintoConyo Fri 03-Jan-14 18:42:21

I would tell her, give strict boundaries as to when she can visit and turn off your phone/ignore texts from other people.

People fuss because they care, it is how you handle their fuss that matters.

Your cs is in a couple of weeks? Leave it until the week.before to tell her, then ignore the rest.

Congratulations btw. thanks

KingRollo Fri 03-Jan-14 18:48:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmallBee Fri 03-Jan-14 18:49:17

Tell her it's few days afterwards.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Fri 03-Jan-14 18:56:54

I agree. Give her a date the following week.

you can always claim she must have misheard. grin

BackforGood Fri 03-Jan-14 19:04:05

Does she already know you are having a planned section ? If she does, then just go for the ideas above, and tell her it's a week later. If she doesn't, then just stick to the 'you never know when babies decide to arrive" line.

YoniMitchel Fri 03-Jan-14 19:07:22

I said I was going for a check up the day I had my section and afterwards just said they decided to do section there and then , nobody questioned me !

mayhew Fri 03-Jan-14 19:54:07

yoni: genius that's all. Love the name.

I tell my women with intrusive families (I am a midwife) to give them the term + 12 date.

PastaandCheese Fri 03-Jan-14 20:48:40

Yoni's suggestion is great. Do that.

I'm mourning the loss of the luxury of not having to tell anyone I'm in labour as I'm expecting my second and have to arrange childcare for my DD.

krankykitty Sun 05-Jan-14 13:28:32

I wouldn't tell anyone my date. I made that mistake on baby 1 and although it was meant to be only information for close family, a load of randomers ended up finding out about it beforehand. If there's a next time, I will be telling no one and enjoying my first day with baby and hubby

selfdestructivelady Sun 05-Jan-14 14:46:25

On dc2 I was in labor hiding in the toilet while dp was on the phone to his mum so she wouldn't hear me in labor. Then I just said it was a quick birth. So yanbu IMO.

Writerwannabe83 Sun 05-Jan-14 18:43:17

Me and my DH got given our CS date a few days ago and we aren't going to tell anyone. Everyone knows I'm having a CS but they don't know we've been given a date. Once those questions start rolling in I'm just going to tell them we are keeping it between us. We just don't want the fuss, attention, hassle etc - we will be stressed enough. We are going to tell people that the first they will know of the CS is when my DH phones them after the event to let them know baby is here smile

Don't tell her - but play fair and don't tell anybody else either. Then everybody gets a lovely surprise.

rallytog1 Sun 05-Jan-14 19:02:31

I really wish I'd not told anyone my due date. I went 2 weeks over and the "have you had the baby yet" questions and texts drove me insane. Fortunately I will have to have an elcs next time and will definitely be telling people a date that's a week later. If your mil can be at all overbearing or indiscreet, do not tell her the date!

You could always give her a date one week later, then say you went into labour, got rushed into hospital for your op and in all the rush there was no time to let her know.

OhCaptainDarling Sun 05-Jan-14 21:00:28

I'm having a ELCS later this month too. We have a date but I am fully expecting a phone call several days before telling me my dates has been moved! Just tell your MIL that.

My MIL called me before Christmas asking if the date had been changed as we wanted to make plans! shockhmm

OhCaptainDarling Sun 05-Jan-14 21:02:59

Only a key few people know our due date, due to childcare arrangements etc.

Just tell her, your ELCS will be at 39wks and leave it at that.

oscarwilde Mon 06-Jan-14 14:12:28

Tell them that you won't be given a date until a few days beforehand.
It does actually depend on any high-risk deliveries and emergencies on the day in any case plus consultant availability etc etc.
Then - what Rallytog said, works a treat.

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