Induction, antenatal stay and labouring alone...

(21 Posts)
everythinghippie29 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:51:10

My induction is set for Wed as I will be 40 + 12, I don't have a clue when this will be as apparently they will call me on Wed and give me a time to go in. I know the induction is a technically a choice but feel a bit like I have to, my sister is midwife and thinks I should and if I don't I risk getting stuck in hospital over Xmas anyway...sad

I'm currently flipping between being as philosophical as I can, I.e, as long as he gets here safely, intervention was always a possiblity...blah, blah, blah and being totally terrified as I wanted to spend minimal time in hospital/ was hoping for water birth etc...

Well, it has just occured to me that there is a good chance I will not go into active labour during visiting hours and that although I may start contracting DP will be sent home at night and I could end up on my own waiting to get to the 'right' stage. I've now got even more fear than I originally had, I feel totally sick at the thought of being on a shared ward, in pain (but apparently not enough pain to have any support!)

I'm quite a private person, and hated being stuck in hospital with HG early on, the thought of having to do the small talk in labour and then being embarrassed if I do make noise etc has me so scared. I keep trying to be positive but I just don't feel excited at all anymore. I only feel frightened, apprehensive and worried. sad

How did other people find early labour if they were alone/ find being on the antenatal ward following induction?

ThurlHoHoHow Mon 16-Dec-13 13:02:28

I was alone for quite a bit of my labour. Same situation - spent all day on the ward with DP then he got sent home at 8. At 10 I'd finally got far enough to be transferred to the CLU and get a blessed epidural and we all agreed that DP should stay at home and get some sleep, as hopefully I was going to get some sleep too and we'd call him to come in in a few hours time.

I actually quite liked it - when I was in labour I absolutely hated anyone and everyone around me and I just sort of retreated into my own little world, which I've heard is quite common. So I wasn't especially aware that DP wasn't there as all he'd been able to do for me anyway was time the contractions. I had an hour or so just with the mw and that was fine too, we were all focused on getting the epidural in. Things went a little wrong then with DD being ill and again, I was happier DP wasn't there as I don't think he would have coped well with the epidural and the tests they did on me and DD! He's a wuss grin I did no small talk either - other than what I said on G&A which made me feel drunk (in a very nice way)

I know it all seems so important right now but when you are in labour you will be focusing more on that than on where you are and what's happening around you. I did notice some women on my ward went home at the end of the day, though I don't know whether they'd just been in for monitoring. Also it seemed the mw's were more prepared to give pethidine/morphine at night at allow the mum's to get some rest, especially if your labour had lasted a little while.

Pack some books and your iPad etc if you have one so that you have things to distract you if you're able to be distracted. Good luck!

everythinghippie29 Mon 16-Dec-13 13:20:54

Thanks for your experience Thurl I'm not so worried about being in active labour oddly!

I know it is silly, I hope that I feel like you and that being alone is a blessing in disguise! Just going on early labour when (I've been told by other people who have laboured at the hospital I will be at) that you only get given paracetamol for pain. I found having my DP there when I was really sick and in hosp for Hyperemesis and when I had my sweep really comforting. Can't imagine contracting and feeling scared and him not being there! I know I def won't be allowed home because they don't let you leave if the Induction has been started.

I know it will be what it is, I was kinda looking forward to the milling round the house, being in my own environment for as long as I could handle when it all started and now I know I'm likely to be stuck wandering the hospital halls I just feel sad! I also didn't plan on telling all the Grandparents I was going in until everthing was well underway but now they all know induction is on the cards and will all be waiting in the wings. Gah, bloody baby clearly wasn't happy with my birthplan! grin

ThurlHoHoHow Mon 16-Dec-13 13:52:28

I wanted DP there for everything beforehand. But I properly spaced out in labour - it really wasn't the same as being in a normal hospital bed, bored and lonely. Obviously it's not ideal but it is a very unusual time and you are quite likely to react differently to how you imagine you might.

I also had loads of text and phonecalls of "Really? Really nothing's happened yet?" grin

everythinghippie29 Mon 16-Dec-13 14:18:51

Urrggg, god the phone calls started a week ago! grin

I do hope I feel differently when it all kicks off then. Thanks for a different perspective though, I hadn't even considered I may not even want company!

Fingers crossed I will go today or tomorrow naturally and in worrying over nothing!

yogafan Mon 16-Dec-13 15:46:19

Oh good luck OP, I am 41+1 today, and think i'm going to be induced next Monday. A right pain that Xmas looms - I think I might have been tempted to ask for expectant monitoring and go a couple more days overdue if it wasn't for everyone telling me what a nightmare hospital is over Xmas. At least you will clear that period (don't want to throw a spanner in the works but could you ask for induction date to be moved to Friday...? That is your overdue date isn't it?)
Anyway, i was induced with my DD 2 years ago, and it was fine. I was just 39 weeks 6 days. I had a day of period type feelings where I was in a shared ward not feeling too bad, and DP only allowed to stay for the visiting slots. I sat on the birthing ball, played with my iphone, listened to hypnobirthng stuff to get me in the zone etc. DP could walk me round the hospital in visiting hours to try and get things going, but it was a nice excuse to stay focused and safe and under observation on the ward when he wasn't there. The staff leave you to it, but are there if you need them. I know it doesn't sound great (I had been planning a home birth and it was absolutely not what I had in mind!) but at the time it was totally fine. Anyway, as soon as I needed to go on the drip (outside visiting hours that evening) DP and I were allocated a room for the duration. That felt lucky - rather than those stories you hear of people being turned away from hospital for not having progressed enough - we were able to settle in, feel safe, no sense of rush or panic, and just let things happen at their own pace. Labour properly started at this point, I was fine being pretty vocal throughout, and had a good experience.
You say you are worried about pain relief - I don't know if you'd be up for giving it a go, but when I was in labour (on the drip) I sniffed on some clary sage (aromatherapy oil) on a flannel, and that really helped me cope with the pain before I was ready for gas and air. I'd recommend it for when you want to focus in and get in the zone, as well as for pain relief, but you could start using it whenever you like, with or without your DP.
Anyway, best of luck to you. I know for me one of the hardest things is having to cope with the changing plans and all this talk of timescales. I think you just have to feel crap for a little bit, letting go of the kind of birth you were gearing up for, then I think you'll find it suprisingly easy to get on with whatever birth you end up with. It's out of your hands in a way, we can't really control the kind of birth we get, even if we discuss options and dates etc. Something seems to kick in that helps you cope with labour as it is happening. I'm sure you'll be more than fine, and will probably have an awesome experience - far better than you can possibly imagine at this point.

TheFutureSupremeRulersMum Mon 16-Dec-13 15:53:20

I had an induction and was worried about DH being sent home in the evening but they allowed him to stay with me the whole time. Fingers crossed you go into natural labour but either way wishing you an easy and safe labour.

curlywurlyllass Mon 16-Dec-13 17:47:53

The worst thing for me has been the monitoring before and after the prostain up the tooty stuff. It can be done up on the ward where you are beside still pregnant ladies, post CSection ladies and ladies with their babies sad my monitoring has been done on labour ward as im not 36weeks yet and its hell. U can be left on the monitor pre prostain until they are ready to check you (ive just been on it for over an hour and got told off for sitting up as the baby heartbeat trace went off- well u would want to move missus midwife if you were in constant backache and had to lay in the same flipping position for ages for the doctorto check you over) then you have to lie for a fecking further 2bloody hours with no bloody pee break or position change -_- I may wee the bed before im allowed up

Its not nice trying to be quiet when you are in pain and you have to try and not disturb others.
and not having your partner with u is horrible

Im starting to change my mind about c sections as i may be heading towards one anyway. this is my 3rd prostain dose and im a tad cranky now, still another hour of monitor/trace to go i may rip my jammies off Hulk style

learnasyougo Mon 16-Dec-13 17:58:11

you'd think now they'd have wireless monitors so you could move without losing baby's heartbeat. why are we still strapped to these stupid fecking machines?! I know for me, it made contractions much more painful and being stuck, immobile kept my baby's heart rate too high. As soon as I was allowed to move, the the heart rate dropped to normal and everyone stopped panicking.

Why can't we have something like the belts runners use but for foetuses? ggrrr, the technology may be there. angryangry

everythinghippie29 Mon 16-Dec-13 18:56:42

Sorry you are having such a horrible time curly that is pretty much exactly what in worried about!

The thought of being bed bound through it all is horrible. sad

The way I'm looking at it now is its only a finite amount of time and even though it will be horrible it will pass and it will be worth it.

I hope you progress nicely and quickly from now and end up with your DP and baby soon! thanks

PacificDingbat Mon 16-Dec-13 19:04:45

everythinghippie, I was induced at T+12 with DS1 and found the whole experience absolutely fine, from start to finish. Don't be too negative about it from the start.

I was admitted in the afternoon, had CTG and pv exam, then first pessary and nothing much happened (this was after 2 unsuccessful sweeps in the week before btw). Had a 2nd pessary @ 10pm and had mild contractions thereafter - DH had long been sent home. And to be honest I was quite glad to be on my own as I found I had to concentrate on my contractions. I was wandering up and down the darkened corridors most of the night; there was one other woman labouring and we sometimes passed in the night and gave each other wan smiles if we could. I had a TENS machine which I found quite helpful to a point and a bath a bit later which also was nice.

By about 6am I felt I needed more pain relief and was transferred to the labour ward, DH was called and arrived @ 7am. I had an epidural, the obligatory slowing down of contractions and synto drip. DS1 arrived just after 1pm.
The whole thing was rather enjoyable and exciting (even with the benefit of hindsight and 3 other deliveries since then).

Keep an open mind about things.
In my hospital I could've laboured in the bath with only intermittent monitoring had I wished.
I understand your need for privacy and that may of course not be a realistic option in hospital - can you get your head around it? A lot of people find by the time they are in labour they don't care anymore, for instance.

And, you could still start labouring before your induction date smile.

The phone calls - now there I have no advice for, or none that is civil grin.

Best of luck x.

everythinghippie29 Mon 16-Dec-13 19:48:34

Thank you Pacific

I'm trying to shake the current worries and instead go into it positively as I think if I go in feeling like it is all doom and gloom it will be a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy!

It is nice to hear you had an enjoyable experience and that all the timings worked out so you had DP as and when you needed him!

I've spoken with my sister a lot this evening and am feeling much better about it all now, reading your story (dare I say it!) has actually made me smile and feel a little flutter of excitement again! Really, thank you. thanks

Fingers crossed the lazy little so and so will make a move tonight or tomorrow though! smile

PacificDingbat Mon 16-Dec-13 19:54:53

smile

Glad to be of help.

Btw pushing/holding a small child on their bike when they had their stablisers removed at T+10, running alongside them, worked with DS3 grin.

Just sayin'...

everythinghippie29 Mon 16-Dec-13 22:46:57

Goes out to borrow a toddler on a bike

Hey, I'll try anything at the moment!

hazchem Tue 17-Dec-13 04:23:33

Can you ask for expect monitoring? You are not technically overdue on until Saturday which would be 40+15.

On Wednesday you could go in and before you start the induction ask BRAIN series of questions:

Benefits What are the Benefits to the induction
Risks What are the risks? both long and short term?
Alternatives What are the alternatives to the induction?
Instinct What does your instinct say about the situation?
Nothing What happens if you do nothing?

In the mean time try to relax, get somewhere dark and lovely dovey have sex if you want or just be somewhere with people that love you and care for you without stressing you out. Switch the phone off, get off facebook. Eat nice foods, drink nice things, think calm relaxing and opening thoughts, talk to your baby out loud or in your head, remind the baby it is safe and you are ready, remind yourself that it is safe and you are ready.

atomicYuleLoghurt Tue 17-Dec-13 05:07:02

I would try and see the early hours of induction as a bit of a break. I was induced with my 2nd DD and it was quite nixes sitting on the ward reading magazine and eating chocolate waiting for things to get moving. Dh was sent home at the end of visiting hours. No problem because I was just sitting around, but 1 hour later things kicked off and I insisted that dh be called in.

You can insist he is there you know, they cannot make him leave.

Pleased I did as dd was born 35 minutes later.

Onesliceortwo Tue 17-Dec-13 06:47:25

I really get where you are coming from as this sent me over the edge last time! We were booked for the first induction slot - 8.30am. By the time things had started and I needed some support, DH was sent home. This time I have requested that I have the last induction slot of the day ...... Dh can be with me when they put the drugs in and get me settled and be back in the morning by which point things may have started ...... maybe worth considering or talking to them about? Good luck!

Oriunda Tue 17-Dec-13 07:47:55

My induction started at 9pm on a Friday. Contractions started by midnight (after dh had gone home) and by 5am saturday were so severe I was on gas and air and convinced was giving birth soon! By 11am had diamorphine but sadly cx became intermittent and eventually waters were manually broken Monday morning. Epidural and synto drip given and just to complete full circle of intervention, EMCS due to problems with baby's hb.

Mine is clearly one of the worst examples of an induction but on the basis you dont want to be in over Christmas I'd go in as soon as you can.

I also was still being sick so no chocs for me! Agree about ipad, essential kit!Good luck!

Ilanthe Tue 17-Dec-13 08:05:39

I laboured on my own for a few hours after my induction. It was fine. DH was sent home at 9pm when things were still fairly relaxed. The midwife advised me to have a bath, which I ran very very hot. I lay in the bath texting my friend (who had no idea I was in hospital, as it was 38 weeks) with little pain. I got out and things had definitely ramped up a level. So I got some diamorphine and spent a pleasant couple of spaced out hours dozing.

Once that had worn off it was all systems go, DH was called back and I went to the delivery suite. He was born less than 2 hours later. No interventions, no tearing, nothing.

Notmyidea Tue 17-Dec-13 22:02:04

speaking from unfortunate experience...
There are no prizes for being a quiet, easy or compliant patient. If you reach a stage in your labour where you need support/pain relief/to be heard bugger being polite about it. Oh, and any health professional that makes you feel at all infantalised or "told off" needs pulling up on it involving senior staff if you need to.

In practical terms that may mean keeping a mobile charged and handy if you need to call on an advocate.

Good luck, ladies. Hope you have lovely new babies to snuggle very soon.

Oriunda Wed 18-Dec-13 07:13:20

Agree about advocate. I had a doula who stayed with me for most of the time and she was great.

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