Please tell me about freebirthing

(87 Posts)
Beesandbutterflies Wed 16-Oct-13 21:07:12

Okay, so after my first birth I now am unfortunately dealing with PTSD and a massive phobia of midwives. So considering freebirth.

Could anyone be brave enough to share their experiences with me? And legalities, how did it work afterwards?

I have no interest in being controversial so please no one get upset with me

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 21:28:04

does anyone know if the midwives who meet you at home also work in the hospital? Because my homebirth midwife (for my UK birth) followed me to hospital when it became apparent a Hb wasn't happening... And she was amazing. Just genuinely SO good. And when other people got involved she basically just ignored them if they tried to push me to do anything I didn't want to do. Not sure how it worked with the normal "hospital midwives" or if there is a difference? She actually came to visit me at home and tell me how sorry she was that my birth plan went out the window (NOT HER FAULT I MIGHT ADD!) Dc1 was a traumatic birth but I wasn't traumatized iyswim.

Dc2 was a straight forward birth (in hospital in the states with docs and nurses) where nothing I said was listened to at all and my bodily integrity was completely ignored. And I was left crying about it for a year.

How HCP treat you is just so important and the ironic thing was is I was having a home birth because I was petrified about going to hospital after having a really horrible experience with a nurse (not birth related).

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Thu 24-Oct-13 21:28:38

She was NHS just to add,

TooTryHard Thu 24-Oct-13 21:55:05

I think mine are solely out of the hospital but I don't know if they'd transfer in with me if needed. Presumably they would because they wouldn't just hand you over to paramedics.

ishouldbecleaning Sat 26-Oct-13 21:26:10

Beesandbutterflies - 9 years ago I was left with PTSD and PNP after a very traumatic, no pain relief, (they refused to give me any), no consent, failed ventouse, keibler forceps, forced my mum to pin me to the bed by my shoulders, could not control my screaming, son had elbow at the side of his head, was back to back, they rotated as they dragged him out, I cannot go into more detail that even now, 9 years later, it caused me severe mental health issues and my son is pretty much blind due to the forceps. Couldnt even go past that hospital on the bus without vomiting or being triggered in some way As the maternity ward was on the front of it. Was demolished last year.

I have since had 2 girls. At a different hospital. Still local but other end of the city. Despite problems with 2nd pregnancy due to damage caused in 1st delivery and DD1 was induced early I managed to have a nice labour and birth. Communicate with the staff. I was very clear. They were very understanding. I did have a panic attack during labour with DD1 which led me to use Natal Hypno

ishouldbecleaning Sat 26-Oct-13 21:27:26

therapy (stupid phone) with DD2. Believe me I still nailed that gas and air but it kept me *calm which was the ultimate goal. Try it.

I really, really know how you feel.

Liara Sat 26-Oct-13 21:38:34

I know someone who freebirthed.

She had no previous bad experience, and had an independent midwife who was available to come whenever she chose, who she trusted completely. She just didn't want anyone around for the actual birth.

She called the mw after the baby was born, though, as she had strong afterpains and was worried about the placenta coming out. The mw came and helped with that and nothing else. If she hadn't had a sympathetic, understanding mw at that stage she might have had to go into hospital, so she was very glad to have her.

I have had two home births with an im and she was wonderful. We built a relationship during the pgs and so she was very in tune with my needs for the actual births. She was in the room but totally unobtrusive for ds1, in fact I have no memory of her being there, my field of perception seemed to end at the edge of the birth pool!

For the second birth her, dh, my sis and I were happily chatting away and trying to get the birth pool to a sensible temperature with hot kettles (we had filled it with cold water by mistake) until about 3 minutes before I gave birth. I then got into the pool, had one contraction and out shot the baby. The total sum of her intervention was to boil some kettles and say 'catch!'.

I think having a birth pool can be very helpful in terms of setting a boundary where you are the one in control. Mine was quite big, so if I was sitting in the middle no one could have reached me very easily!

Notmyidea Sat 26-Oct-13 22:01:43

I considered it after I was mistreated during my first birth. I officially planned a homebirth, had antenatal care and was prepared to call too late for the midwife to get there. In the end I wasn't happy with how things were going, called her out and ended up with a cs for a complex presentation.

please complain about how you were treated. Finding the strength to do that is a big part of the healing process and helps protect other women. I still have occasional flashbacks 13 years on.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Sun 27-Oct-13 01:19:52

I think having a birth pool can be very helpful in terms of setting a boundary where you are the one in control. Mine was quite big, so if I was sitting in the middle no one could have reached me very easily!

What a good idea! The midwife is pretty unlikely to jump in with you!

SoonToBeSix Sun 27-Oct-13 01:50:30

Bees I really think you should go for counselling, I had a horrible birth experience with dd2 due to an awful midwife so do understand. However the trauma of awful birth experience could never compare to the trauma of losing your baby if your freebirth went wrong.

Beesandbutterflies Sun 27-Oct-13 07:20:50

Thank you for your contributions, good ideas about the pool, however it panics me that at some stage I have to get out of the pool and they'll be there hmm
I think an im seems the way forward but I'm worried about cost, can anyone whose used one give me a rough idea so I can think about saving smile also I'd really like my doula again

I have continued to lurk on this thread and my heart goes out to you, Bees, and anybody else who's had horrendous birth experiences sad.

You seem to be putting much thought and emotional energy in to the planning of any future labour and delivery which is only sensible. I just cannot help but wonder whether at some point you might direct some of that effort into addressing your trauma?
As another poster has pointed out, you can plan all you want, things can change and the last thing you want is to feel really panicky and out of control of event if things don't go to plan IYSWIM?

There are unused birth pools on ebay every now and then - from people who'd planned to labour/deliver in their pool but never made it in for what ever reason (I didn't - v fast labour and delivery in hospital, but was a really good experience).

I so hope you find a way to be a survivor from your experience and have the deliver you hope for in the end x.

My birth plan stated that if water was medically contra-indicated I would still be using the birth pool though unfilled.

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