Thanks for the kind replies. The lochia is coming and going - will be happy when its gone!
Rootypig I think I am possibly using activity to avoid certain feelings. But I will be talking through the birth with a midwive (birthing reflections) and the HV is aware of the situation. They advised private counselling if I want to talk to someone quickly - I have done this before for depression but weighing up if can afford it now am on maternity leave. I have spoken to my DH a lot and feel safer sleeping when he is around. Thanks again.
Yes, too much walking, if you've been doing that since the birth (ie it might be alright for someone at 3 weeks, who has been resting the first two). Is this DC1? you need to let your body recover, even for a birth that didn't require transfusions - more so for one that did.
It sounds like you had a really difficult birth - and the nightmares sound horrid. I'm not surprised you want to do things that make you feel in control. Please do speak to someone as soon as possible. Three weeks in with a baby you need to be feeding them, yourself, and sleeping.
If it's working for you then it's absolutely fine. I was very active from the day DD2 was born but only because I had a much older child and life had to carry on. Ime lochia waxes and wanes anyway. You can think it's finished and then it starts up again with vigour the next day.
I've read in a couple of places that if you are too active after birth your lochia can ramp up again. Mine is too random to really see a pattern but I am walking up to two hours a day. Is keeping me sane with a nearly three week old. I lost 2.5 litres of blood and had two transfusion units. Oh and am on iron tablets (boo). Wondered if the walking is too much. I'm also doing quite a bit of housework again because it makes me feels bit more in control. I am not sleeping much because of feeding and also can't relax - am planning on speaking to someone re birth trauma as having nightmares.
Anyway, sorry for rambling, but is that not enough relaxing basically?!