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Childbirth

My mother is putting pressure on me to get this baby out [angry]

43 replies

emkana · 07/06/2006 19:02

I spoke to my mum on the phone today, and she said "When is this baby coming then? Tell him to hurry up." I said "It's not up to me" She said "I'm having trouble sleeping and I feel so tense and I have heart palpitations because I'm so tense and waiting for this baby to come out." So I said, to calm her down a bit "Well we'll see what happens next Monday when I go into hospital again" She said "Oh I would be so pleased if you were induced then" followed by big sighs and everything...

She did add for good measure that she realized it wasn't a criterion (sp?) how she was feeling, but still I felt that she was putting emotional pressure on me. I did explain to her how I'm actually enjoying this time, the sun is shining, I'm with my dd's and consciously enjoying them while I can without any distractions.

OP posts:

Report

Twiglett · 07/06/2006 19:03

you're at the end of a pregnancy .. you're going to be fraught .. face it there's nothing at all she could say that would be the right thing to say at that moment

emkana · 07/06/2006 19:05

Well it would be more the right thing though to say what people on here have said - that it's probably a good thing to let this baby come out when he's ready.

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sarahlou1uk · 07/06/2006 19:11

Emkana - I've read most of your other posts and FWIW my advice is like many others - the baby will come when he/she is ready and not before. Let baby have as much time in your womb as it wants - it can only get stronger! Good luck!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 07/06/2006 19:11

Your mum would be the same whether there were worries over the babies health or not - it's a mum thing.

It's soooo not helpful though is it? Those 'Are you still here?' calls used to drive me mad, especially from my dear MIL - I used to feel like not ringing and telling her of the arrival just for spite!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 07/06/2006 19:12

Must correct my grammar.... baby's!

emkana · 07/06/2006 19:12

I know, as if I would have the baby and just forget to tell them (mum and MIL).

I feel like saying sometimes "The baby? Oh yeah the baby. Yeah, had him last night, just completely slipped my mind to let you know..."

OP posts:

edam · 07/06/2006 19:13

Goodness, she's being just a tad self-centred here, isn't she? Last thing you need right now. Here's hoping she's a bit more helpful when baby actualy arrives...

sugarfree · 07/06/2006 19:13

She's just worried about her baby Hon,same as you are about yours.

emkana · 07/06/2006 19:14

To be fair to her she's not having an easy time of it anyway, my dad is getting worse and worse with Alzheimer's.
But still... if she's concerned for me then she should back up my choices.

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edam · 07/06/2006 19:18

Can you imagine turning up at hospital and asking for an induction 'because my mother's getting nervous and wants her grandson out now, please?'. Don't think it would make the list of top ten reason for induction, somehow!

emkana · 07/06/2006 19:41

edam

The thing is she knows I can cope with the waiting, so she shouldn't put her stress over mine IYSWIM.

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SoupDragon · 07/06/2006 19:42

Forget your mother - 1001 Mumsnetters are getting nervous/excited/impatient :o

emkana · 07/06/2006 19:47

Do you reckon I should ask to be induced before the week is out then?

Dh convinced now that baby will be born during first England match.

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mammaduck · 07/06/2006 19:48

My lo was 15 days late. After about day 7 we like you were so sick of the 'is it here yet' phonecalls that we just didn't answer the phone to ANYONE! Much easier!

Pruni · 07/06/2006 19:49

emkana, would it be really off to ask you if you feel like the baby is getting ready yet? Or are you still feeling like there might be a way to go?

emkana · 07/06/2006 19:50

I don't have any feeling of birth being imminent or baby being ready to come out, but I don't know whether that's due to my lack of perceptiveness for these kind of things. I just know that I really, really enjoy every minute I have with my dd's atm, because I don't know how much undistracted time I'll have with them when baby's here.

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Pruni · 07/06/2006 19:53

I realised as soon as I asked that that I had zero idea that the baby was going to come the next day, so what a silly question really. How are the dd's?

SoupDragon · 07/06/2006 19:54

You'll be pleased to know I'm in the "leave him in there" camp, emkana. That's not to say I'm not nervous & impatient for you though.

Whether he turns out to be well or not, he's far easier to look after and better off inside you.

SoupDragon · 07/06/2006 19:54

I was certain DD was imminent for at least 3 weeks before she was born, smack on her due date :)

pupuce · 07/06/2006 19:55

Emkana- That's a tough one... you're right I think your mum is under a lot of stress at the moment and she probably feels that if your baby was out at least then she would know more.....
All i can suggest is that you acknowledge her feelings and say that this waiting is not easy for you either but to understand that you will do what is BEST for the baby and no amount of her wanting it out is going to help!
I am not sure an induction is a good idea when we don't know exactly what might be wrong with your baby... inductions do stress babies... maybe you could tell her tht. Now I may be wrong your OB and pead should advise you on this but it is my gut feeling.
When are you due? (I know anyday)

emkana · 07/06/2006 19:57

Due today!

OP posts:

pupuce · 07/06/2006 19:59

Well happy birthday

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Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 07/06/2006 20:00

oh dear- this annoys me- if you can deal with it tshe has to. Just try and ignore, and go by paed and obs advice.

emkana · 07/06/2006 20:26

I really must try to forget about it...

no help whatsoever to focus all my negative feelings on my mum, it's not her fault after all.

OP posts:

edam · 07/06/2006 20:28

Well, you need some focus for all those feelings. Tried punching any pillows recently?

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