Poll-Your Mum at the birth?

(276 Posts)
IndecisivePramBuyer81 Mon 24-Jun-13 16:28:58

For those with DH's - did you have/would you have your Mum at the birth of your first child?

pardonmytits Mon 24-Jun-13 16:57:24

It wasn't planned at all, but I ended up with both DH and my mum. Went into labour at 36+2, had planned a home birth with DH and a doula but had to go to hospital instead. It ended up being the best thing that could have happened (mum being there that is) as we had quite a traumatic birth and she was there to support both DH and I, and our new little mister of course smile

Badvoc Mon 24-Jun-13 16:57:36

God, no.

No i wouldnt have wanted my mum there, Was just me and my then DP both times, although i was more than happy to just have the second one without him there to be honest, he was useless, sat there reading a book and at one point popped out to the pub for 30mins.

cardamomginger Mon 24-Jun-13 17:00:16

Yuck. But it very much depends on the mother, so I can see how with other mothers, it might be different.

Shortbutsosweet Mon 24-Jun-13 17:00:26

I would have loved to have had my mum at the birth of my DS but she died years before my pregnancy.
my DP was there and my MIL who was great she just sat quietly and keep me company when I was in early labour.
When I was about to give birth she pulled up a chair and left her son to it!
Love her to bits xx

diamondee Mon 24-Jun-13 17:05:28

Yes. I had my mum and dh with me for all 3dc.
She was brilliant, couldn't have managed without her.

skaen Mon 24-Jun-13 17:05:44

I planned to first time round as I wasn't sure how DH would cope. In the event DH was absolutely wonderful and brilliant.

Also mum arrived just after DD was born and before I was stitched and I saw her face confused. I thought she was about to be sick. After that just stuck with DH for no 2!

BackforGood Mon 24-Jun-13 17:08:48

No. I'm amazed when you see so many Mums there on One Born Every Minute.
My Mum would have come if dh hadn't been able to get back in time (he was working away) but not needed as he was there.

Dear God, no!

She hadn't seen my bits since I started puberty and there was no way having a baby was going to change that smile

Explaining to her (post birth) that you aren't routinely shaved and given an enema was excruciating enough.

usualsuspect Mon 24-Jun-13 17:11:07

I was at the birth of my first grandchild

dinkystinky Mon 24-Jun-13 17:11:15

No way

ThwartedbyMum Mon 24-Jun-13 17:12:46

I had my Mum with me, we are not particularly close but she really stepped up and was brilliant. DP was fairly useless asking me every 2 mins if I was ok and driving me mad. I ended up having an EMCS and my Mum kept me calm by just stroking my hair and telling me it would be ok.
Dsis had always said no way to Mum being there but after my experience asked her to be there for the birth of her DC2. It was a lovely experience for Mum to be able to see 2 of her GC being born.

LifeOfPee Mon 24-Jun-13 17:16:10

No and if DP wasn't there I'd probably just be alone/with the M/W.

Chesterado Mon 24-Jun-13 17:17:04

Nope but having spent an hour in triage last night for a false alarm, I would appear to be in the minority on our local area!

The two other ladies waiting had partner, mum AND dad (the dads didn't go through with them though, that def would have been a bit odd - well in our family at least!)

No way! I asked my sister to be with me (single parent). My mother made a huge fuss because she thought she should have been asked not my sister.

SirChenjin Mon 24-Jun-13 17:19:28

Same in our area Chesterado - giving birth is quite the family event, with entire extended families camped out texting everyone in a 50 mile radius with updates

Df doesn't want to be at the birth and i'm not sure i want him there either hmm if not him it'll be my bf again.

My mum is a panicky pete. Insists on being reffered to as 'mrs surname' rather than first name, attention seeks, talks too much and would put me on edge and make me look like an idiot having to tell her to shush all the time angry

So no, no mum in with me grin i took my aunt in with me for my first - she is the opposite of my mum and really helped me out particularly with bf'ing.

Ipp3 Mon 24-Jun-13 17:21:03

God no!

TSSDNCOP Mon 24-Jun-13 17:21:20

I love my mum. But he'll would freeze before I had her in a delivery suite.

Frankly, that attitude extends to DH as well, but he kinda muscled his way in.

I'd like me, midwife...AND THAT'S IT!

IndecisivePramBuyer81 Mon 24-Jun-13 17:23:22

My Mum is most put out that I don't want her there and believe it should just be me and OH (and i also think she would just stress me out! ) she couldn't have a natural birth with us so feels she missed out somehow although how being present at mine would change that I don't know! annoyingly my cousin had her mum there (my mum's sister) so mine just assume she'd be at mine. I have no idea why she thought I'd be ok with her watching a baby come out of me when she hasn't seen my bits since I was about ten when OH is under strict instructions to avoid the business end?! was interested to see what others felt on the subject!

DumSpiroSpero Mon 24-Jun-13 17:24:43

Never in a million years - and she wouldn't have wanted to either. She is very highly strung and a complete bit of a hypochondriac - there is no way either of us could have coped with her presence.

Tbh, if DH hadn't been able to be there - I'd have had my Dad with me. Well away from the business end obviously (although I ended up with an EMCS), but he 'gets' me far more than my mum and wouldn't have panicked.

Bullincathkidston Mon 24-Jun-13 17:38:28

I had mum and dp, was only just 20. My mum was a nurse very practical, first baby she'd seen born said it was amazing. She buggered off soon after Dd was born.
She sadly died a couple of years later, I'm glad we shared that experience.
And dp was just crap whilst I was labouring! hmm

Bullincathkidston Mon 24-Jun-13 17:39:03

I had mum and dp, was only just 20. My mum was a nurse very practical, first baby she'd seen born said it was amazing. She buggered off soon after Dd was born.
She sadly died a couple of years later, I'm glad we shared that experience.
And dp was just crap whilst I was labouring! hmm

Mindyourownbusiness Mon 24-Jun-13 17:39:35

Let her be put out then !!

If she puts pressure on you l think that is really out of order and selfish imo and l personally would just dig my heels in all the more.

It is such an important occasion for you both, don't let anyone spoil it/ dictate to you about how it's going to be.

Mindyourownbusiness Mon 24-Jun-13 17:40:07

Congratulations btw grin

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