Missed 6 week check with the GP and feeling guilty

(26 Posts)
ohcrappola Mon 24-Jun-13 12:14:17

...dd is now 10 weeks old and I've only just called to rearrange a check.
She's been waking through the night two hourly so my days have been dazed and spent trying to get my head down when I can. But honestly I am generally VERY forgetful and disorganised - the complete opposite of my mum who is a HV.
She just gave me an absolute bollocking for not turning up as they are 20 minute appointments, so two patients pr even 4 could have been seen in that time. And she said in child protection cases not turning up for 6 week checks is a very bad mark against the mother because it's NEGLECT! She said the baby absolutely needs to have the check otherwise abnormalities (e.g. heart, hips etc) can be missed. Also they will not be happy to give immunisations if 6 week check has been missed.

I am now feeling like a bloody terrible mother for being so shit about it. I just did not realise how important it was for dd and how pissed off the surgery will be with me that I wasted 20 minutes of appointment time. shittity shit.

And i'm guessing none of you missed yours right? blush

Ginderella Mon 24-Jun-13 12:25:15

I did miss mine because I was suffering from PND and I hadn't left my house for weeks. Your Mum sounds a bit harsh. The surgery would have filled the 20 minutes easily as the clinics always run overtime. If they were that worried about it, they would have contacted you.

You are not a terrible mother. We all forget to do things when we are tired and worn out. It is not the end of the world if you miss the appointment. You can always make another one. What if you were ill at the 6 week point and couldn't go?

I am disappointed with your DM. A bit of support rather than a bollocking would have helped. I hope she is kinder to her other mothers. I'm glad she is so perfect!! hmm

ohcrappola Mon 24-Jun-13 12:28:52

Thanks Ginderella you've made me feel a bit better. She IS perfectly organised and diligent. I however take after my very scatty, forgetful and disorganised father. My mum says it took her years to come to terms with the fact I am the opposite of her....maybe she's still coming to terms with it :O

ArabellaBeaumaris Mon 24-Jun-13 12:30:27

blimey, your mother sounds like hard work!

Yes, missing an appointment isn't great, but truthfully, the doctor who suddenly had a 20 minute window opened up will have had a nice time catching up on patients/correspondence/making a coffee. Nobody will have been personally pissed off with you.

I haven't missed the check ups, but I've missed lots of vax appointments! Don't worry about it. Make another appointment & make sure you turn up smile

ohcrappola Mon 24-Jun-13 12:34:52

thank you Arabella! Almost didnt want to go in again for fear of what the GP would secretly be thinking of me.....

My DS has an 8 week check...I thought you meant the 6 week postnatal check, which I am being naughty about and still haven't phoned to arrange..might well do it now..DS is 6 weeks on Weds.

But don't feel guilty, they do a check in hospital right and most problems (if any) are picked up then.

ohcrappola Mon 24-Jun-13 12:40:57

It was a 6 week check for both me and DD. And i feel extra bad because I was disregarding importance of check for MYSELF thinking 'I'm sure I'm fine' rather than realising it was so important for DD. And my HV made the appt for me I didn't even have to arrange it myself.

MigGril Mon 24-Jun-13 12:42:51

You do realise the 6 week check is about you as well as baby. Making sure your alright and haven't had any problems post birth.

Nobody is going to be really annoyed with you for missing it. But get yourself down there and both of you checked out. Take care of yourself to.

Chigertick Mon 24-Jun-13 12:45:43

Well our twins had a 12 week check in the end and between the hospital and GP I never actually had a 6 week check at all!
The first appointments the GP sent they were still under neonatal outreach care. Then the second lot didn't turn up so they phoned to ask why we hadn't been. So I explained, then they just sent new ones which was at 12 weeks in the end!

ohcrappola Mon 24-Jun-13 12:45:58

thank you Mig smile doctor ringing me in the morning to arrange. Better make sure I'm awake!!

Startail Mon 24-Jun-13 12:46:05

Hugs, organised DMs, however lovely, are a pita.

Get ye self to the GP and don't worry about it any more.

ohcrappola Mon 24-Jun-13 12:46:58

Chiger at least it was through no fault of your own! smile

ohcrappola Mon 24-Jun-13 12:47:57

thanks Star they are indeed a pita grin

Dackyduddles Mon 24-Jun-13 12:52:16

It is silly. You need to get a grip. Yes your tired but you have responsibilities now. That's probs why she got shirty. Tbh it sounds like a badly put intervention. I think she's telling you to pull your socks up. If you genuinely think your in a daze, if you can't keep track of your days then you should see your GP. Simply because pnd can easily creep up and this sounds possible.

Shellywelly1973 Mon 24-Jun-13 17:59:56

Stop feeling so guilty....for goodness sake your exhausted!

My Ds is 5. he was 10 weeks before our GP could fit him in for his 6 week check.

They stopped doing post natels about 6 years ago apparently!

Your mums a hv so surely she can see you could do with some support instead of critism...

welshfirsttimemummy Mon 24-Jun-13 22:26:55

My midwife told me that they don't have 6 week checks anymore?

My DS is 6 weeks Friday and seeing my HV that day anyway so will check with her.

Startail Mon 24-Jun-13 23:37:36

I got a telling off from mine for my DSIS birthday card being late. DSIS is 43 I think she can moan it me herself.

jammiedonut Wed 26-Jun-13 18:33:48

Don't beat yourself up. Book yourself in ASAP and if you feel the need do apologise to gp for missing the previous appointment. Believe me you have to do a hell of a lot more than miss one drs appointment to start ringing alarm bells for neglect. I'm sure the gp will be very understanding (the nasty receptionists may be a little meaner- mine think missing an appointment is a hanging offence!). My trust makes you book yourself in,the refuses to book appointments more than 2 weeks in advance so more often than not your 6 week turns into a 10 week check. Newborns should be checked after 8 weeks, so you're not that late, it's usually just more convenient for gp to see you simultaneously.

GlitzPig Fri 28-Jun-13 13:14:36

Er, I think they do 6 week checks a bit differently where I am-the GP just said 'Everything already with you both?' and I said we were fine, and he said 'Oh good, do give your HV a call if you have any concerns, won't you' and that was it!

Notmyidea Sat 29-Jun-13 23:29:25

I cancelled our joint appointment because we were away and haven't got around to making another. I want to leave it like that. I'm fine thanks and have no concerns about ds. If I did I'd make an appointment like a responsible parent. Ds got his vaccinations without question fwiw. The six week check is a repeat of the neonatal check. For babies who didn't cause concern then I'm not surprised some areas have dropped it all together.

noblegiraffe Sat 29-Jun-13 23:34:20

Haven't you been in for vaccinations yet? Isn't the first lot at 8 weeks?

karinmaria Sat 29-Jun-13 23:50:56

My DS is 12 weeks and had his 6 week check and first jabs at 10 weeks. Really not a problem as newborns are thoroughly checked by the paediatrician in hospital and the doctor check up is more a follow on from that.

Actually, I haven't been to see the HV in aaggeess so should really pop into the walk in clinic next week...

karinmaria Sat 29-Jun-13 23:55:01

Actually good point giraffe - if your baby hasn't had the 8 week vaccinations yet then that isn't good.

If you are in a daze and can't see the wood for the trees you should capitalise on your DM's organisational skills and ask her to make the appointment and remind you so you go. Then when you're there have a chat about PND as it can creep up.

SofiaAmes Sat 29-Jun-13 23:55:34

I think my dd did not have a 6 week check, not because I forgot, but because there was a shortage of hv's in our area. I would guess if the NHS doesn't think it's important enough to put on extra HV's then it's probably not such a big deal. Especially if you have an apparently healthy child. And if you don't, you don't have to wait for the 6 week check to have your child checked! And I was not terribly worried as my ds' 6 week check was an absolute waste of time....hv was useless and I knew more about babies than she did. And certainly more about bfing and nutrition. Sorry your mum is giving you such a hard time.

MorganLeFey Sun 30-Jun-13 13:07:01

My perception is skewed to the abnormal & I am paranoid so will be asking some Paediatrician trainee friends to do their own check too..! smile

But there are some abnormalities that can be picked up on the 6-8 week check that parents may not have otherwise noticed & are not evident at the newborn check (which may not be done by a paediatrician but another HCP who's done 'the course') e.g. dysmorphia more apparent with time passing, cataracts, repeat go at hip assessment picks some new ones up, tone/neuro reflex abnormalities as may be more apparent, heart murmurs may emerge or are probably the most operator dependent part of the assessment.

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