Hello. I am writing this at the suggestion of other posters. Just looking for advice/reassurance I suppose.
My waters broke at 9am on Friday 12th April (40+6)I was given a time for induction the next day and went home. Labour started that evening and by 1am I was getting strong contractions every 3 minutes. The hospital is twenty five minutes away and, as my first labour had progressed well, I decided to head in. When I got there the MW checked me and said I wasn't in labour or dilated at all (I'd been checked at an appointment that week and was told I was 3cm). I was very disappointed but went home, despite the pain.
When I got home the pains were constant and agonising but because I 'wasn't in labour' I stayed home. I called the MW who said to try and stay home until my induction appointment at 10am (eight hours away). Eventually, after truly wanting to die, I went in at 8am to be examined and told I was at 5cm. Luckily there was a shift change and I got a different MW who gave me G&A and let me in the pool. This really helped deal with the pain.
Everything was going brilliantly until around 10.20 when my MW told me to get out of the pool immediately as there was a lot of blood. A quick examination showed a placental abruption and from there it was total chaos. I had several people working on me at once putting in canulas, giving me anti-emetics, pulling off my wet clothes.
I was convinced DS and I were going to die so
I said goodbye to my DH and was taken to theatre and put to sleep.
When I woke up I was told DS was fine but in NICU as he didn't breathe for 3 minutes. I was given a blood transfusion as I'd lost 1.5litres of blood. Luckily we are both fine now but I feel completely traumatised. It was only reading a thread today I realised I had a wound which would need caring for 
I keep going over things in my head:
What if I hadn't gone in until ten as the first MW suggested? I'd not have even been seen for a while but my section happened at 10.25.
Were the constant contractions and pain a warning that things weren't right (I managed well with DD's birth so I knew what to expect). Should I have stood my ground rather than go home?
The consultant said its very rare to have an abruption after a straightforward first birth and with no complications - so why did it happen?
I was told another minute and we both could have died - I'd have left DD with no mummy.
I was also completely unprepared for a section so I feel really clueless about aftercare etc. nobody has checked my wound or told me what to do/not to do.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking but I needed to get it down. I am so impressed with the doctors and MWs who saved us but I'm struggling to cope.
I'm also feeling very guilty about DD (just 3) who is being passed around relatives while I'm in the hospital (this is night 3) and DH is helping me out. I'd really hoped for as relaxed a transition as possible.
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Childbirth
Struggling to cope with a crash section
SneezySnatcher · 15/04/2013 20:48
Sorry, just re-read that and 'incredibly stressful' sounds like a silly understatement. Just wanted to sympathise and send you lots of 
Firstly, congratulations on your DS and well done with the BF too. You sound like a fantastic mummy.
There's so much to your post.
Your birth experience would leave anyone shaken. To be told you are a minute from death 
- that is quite a shocking piece of information to process. I'm sure that when you are ready, you can arrange a meeting with the MW to discuss your labour and birth in detail, so you have chance to ask these questions.
The section is also a shock, particularly a crash/EMCS as the mental preparation isn't in place the same as an ELCS. Your MW or consultant can advise on the proper care plan, but personally, I was advised to keep the wound clean and dry (I used a hairdryer on low heat gently to the area after showering), swept a cotton wool ball dipped in weak teatree & water solution to keep the wound sanitised, wore very big pants! and avoided any kind of clothing that rubbed or pressed on the scar. It kind of takes care of itself, but if it doesn't seem to be healing nicely, or you are at all worried about it, get it checked out by a doctor. It will look not so pretty for a good while but all of a sudden at some point not so far in the future, you will realise that you can hardly see it/have hardly thought about it for aaaages 
Your DD will be having a whale of a time with relatives & Daddy and won't remember these few days when you weren't here she will be bowled over when you come home with DS too. Please don't feel guilty, you have nothing to feel guilty about. When you are stuck in hospital everything seems magnified because it's not your usual environment, you are more vulnerable and more prone to worrying.
You are doing marvellously well. The main thing is that you are ok, DH is ok, DD is ok, DS is ok. You are all fine. Everything else can and will sort itself out. Hope you feel better soon x
Hi, Congratulations on both your lovely children. It sounds like you are all really resillient and your 3 year old is probably loving the attention she is getting with the relatives. It probably doesn't feel like being passed around at all to her - although it will be to you as you wanted her with her.
I am going to offer 2 bits of advice and of course it is totally up to you if you decide to take them. (Sorry it is a bit of a long ramble)
I agree with Exhaustedipated that it would be useful to get some help at some point to work this through. (I offer this as someone who works in this field and I would suggest something that could help you to work it through and resolve , rather than keep going through the story and reliving it). I also agree that at the moment just take the time to enjoy the new baby and your DD and your new family. I alway felt like the four of us made a family .... You will know when and if you will want to do this.
Also, it is worth raising this with the NHS Trust as an issue, when you feel ready. (I used to also work in clinical risk in the NHS - an eclectic career I know). It may be that you feel comfortable to raise it with the team or if not ask to speak to the Director of Nursing or such like. They should be reviewing it anyway and if not you can prompt them to think about it. I am guessing that you really want to understand what happened, ensure that everything possible was done/answer any questions that remain unresolved for you & ensure that whatever learning needs to take place does.
Asked to be involved so they can listen to it from your perspective. If you can find a way to do this in a way that it open and not angry, most clinicians would value your view and welcome the opportunity to learn from your experience and improve it for others. I don't intend to be 'fluffy' - this could turn this into a more positive experience for you and be potential helpful in the future. You also don't have to do this right now and can do it when you are ready.
I hope this is helpful and congratulations once again and no one would think that you didn't think you were lucky. One of each is fab - the only downside is the the inability to pass down clothes 
- althought my DS does like having his nails painted by his elder sister!
Hello sneezy.
I had a similar experience (12 weeks ago)
2nd baby and went into maternity when I felt the pains were really strong, to be told I was 2cm!!
Being my 2nd baby (the first was born within 4hours so no time for pain relief) I knew my pain threshold and flat out refused to believe them that I was only 2cm!
I was told to go home (I didn't) I knew something was wrong, I begged them to let me stay and examine me again, they did and said I was 2cm!
The pain was like something I have never experienced before, not like labour, and not something I wish to experience again!!
I was crying/screaming in agony and begged them to listen to me, please please believe me something is wrong. Eventually they put the heart rate monitor on and baby's heartbeat was 54bpm
From then, all hell broke loose, they broke my waters which was just thick with bright red blood rushed me for an emergency c-section, but when I got into theatre I had gone from 2-10cm (in about 90 secs) and was pushing, dd was born after just a few pushes in theatre.
DD is 12 weeks now and absolutly fine, but it is something I think about every.single.day! Several times over, all the questions going round in my head, why did it happen, why would nobody listen to me!
Sorry I've no advise, but just wanted you to know your not alone
Congrats on your baby 
Hi sneezy and congrats on the addition to your family.
Whilst i had a slightly different reason (cord prolapse) I too endured a crash section with GA 6 years ago during the birth of my DD. We were so lucky to have a live baby at the end of it, and thanks to the wonderful staff we have watched our mad youngest DD grow into a spirited schoolgirl.
It took me a longtime to get over the "what-ifs", years I would say. My consultant gave me the opportunity to talk to him and ask any questions - but ultimately I always tried to focus on how lucky we were.
I think real closure on the stress came a few weeks ago when we had an appointment with him for the baby i am now pregnant with. DD walked in, gave him a big hug and thanked her for saving her life and told him how much she loves her life! He was chuffed and very proud, and very touched by her hug.
You sound like you have lovely support around you, my DH got very stressed and shocked by what happened to me and perhaps he would have benefited from a de-briefing also. He is very keen for me to have an elcs this time round as he cannot face the thought of us all going through that again.
Try to put worrying aside, and deal with any complaints totally separate to feeding back your gratitude. Best of luck with everything, 3LW
Sneezy I would 100% say that a lot of pain in early labour is a sign of placental abruption.
I suppose if it was my 1st baby I wouldn't know any different and begged for an epidural but as my 2nd I knew it was all wrong.
The only way I could describe the pain is to say its like a constant contraction at 10cm!!
Looking back, there are a lot of factors that could have been picked up on .... 1 wk before the birth my MW picked up on a deceleration in the Hb, I was sent for monitoring at the hosp, which also showed low heart rate but nothing was done about it, if I would have had scan it would have been noticed straight away.
I also complained of a pain in my right hand side 2 days prior to labour, they took a urine sample but came back clear, I've since learnt this is also a sign, I also had a small bleed but nothing was done.
It's upsetting to know there were lots of opportunities to pick up on the abruption and I wouldn't have had to go through that, but I just keep looking at my beautiful DD and all the upset and worries goes away.
It just makes me a little more grateful to be doing the 12am/3am/6am feeds
Hi sneezy, congratulations again. So glad all is well now!
Just want to send a virtual hug really and 
I agree a birth de brief is a good idea mine helped me somewhat (as you know I was unconscious after for a while) so I would definitely ask for that in your position.
As a aside I was told that excessive pain in early labour, or even not in active labour can be sign of abruption. The drs asked me every two hours about pain levels for weeks before my abruption to pick up on any signs. If it would help you mention this and have them explain their rationale at the time/ why they felt all was fine when you felt it was 'different.' X
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Hi Sneezy reading your story and I could be reading about myself. 6.5 wks ago I had an EmCS due to a placental abruption, ante-partum haemorrhage and fetal distress. The MW initially wanted to send me home, thankfully they didn't after I explained I lived an hour away from the hospital.
Pre CS the surgeon tried to rotate DD inside me as she'd gone back-to-back, this was really traumatic and agonisingly painful, so much so I was begging them to stop. I heard the emergency bleeps of all those present go off for me, next thing I know my bed was being pushed to theatres at top speed. DD was born 15 mins later. DD needed help to breathe for 4 mins, then spent 12hrs in NICU being tested for brain damage-fortunately she did not have this.
I had to have a blood transfusion due to 1-2litres blood loss. I too was really traumatised after this (despite working as a nurse in a critical care area), I confided in the MW that I could have died and the best piece of advice I got was "Yes, but you didn't. Don't dwell on that, dwell on your healthy DD" Quite blunt but it worked for me. I also wrote a thankyou letter to all the staff for their care.
My DS was passed from friend to child care and back, but he had a wail of a time so don't feel guilty. Hopefully someone has checked your wound by now, and you are recovering well.
Hope you feel better soon
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