Scared of labour second time round?

(9 Posts)
dondon33 Sun 17-Feb-13 10:37:54

Living I was afraid of a second birth too even though nothing serious happened during my first, no intervention, no stitches - nothing.

1st - I laboured for 18 hrs (around 11 actually in hospital) he was 8lbs 12

2nd (23 months later) - I laboured for 6 hrs (around 3 in the hospital) It was very very quick, I finished dilating and less than 2 minutes later I'd given birth. I swear I didn't even push (I actually remember the midwife being a bitangry with me for trying to keep my legs crossed) smile - he made his own way out all 9lbs 7 of him, same as before no problems no intervention with the birth itself. The only pain relief I had was G&A.

The 3rd (32 months later) was my worst birth - I was induced with Syntocinon [shock
I was 40+5 and because of bastard gallstones throughout my pregnancy my obstetrician took pity on me and agreed (after checking my cervix was ready, which thank god it was) to end my pain and misery.
Once I arrived at the hospital, they managed to pop my waters, as I'd been slowly dilating since Obs examined/swept me a few days before, then set up the drip. I really wasn't prepared to go from no pain to full on agony in such a short space of time with only G&A but again I thank the Lord it only last 3hrs 15 minutes in total to get my 10lb 7 little hulk out.

I feel extremely lucky that I've never had so much as 1 stitch with all of them but it doesn't stop me being scared again, even now (I'm currently ttc) I know without doubt when I do fall pregnant I will be shitting myself about the birth smile
I worry that because I have a big gap since my last (14 years) that my body has forgotten about the 'path' previously made all those years ago and it will be like giving birth for the first time again shock I bloody well hope not

NeedlesCuties Fri 15-Feb-13 19:39:49

My 1st was 8lb 6oz, took 17 hours and 2.5 hours of pushing.

My 2nd was 9lb 1oz, back to back (which they didn't know till she came out!!), took 6 hours and only pushed for 45 mins.

Just had gas and air with both, nothing else.

I also recommend hypno-birthing, or using visualisations to focus youseld during contractions.

I thought about flowers blooming and opening up and tried to think of my cervix opening in same way.

Another very very helpful thing was to focus on breathing. Count to 3 as you breathe in through nose and count to 4 as you breathe out through mouth.

Sounds a bit hippy-dippy, but really it stopped me panicking!

I was going to suggest hypno birthing too. I was induced abs was having 90 second contractions 45 seconds apart and I don't recollect pain at all. Just tiredness. It also helped me cope with my worst fear - a c sec - when that happened. Cant recommend hypno highly enough x

BRush1 Fri 15-Feb-13 16:25:23

My second was difficult as she was big it left me scared snap like you. I would have put off the next but got pregnant almost straight away, one night of passion and back pregnant again. I spoke to the midwife about being frightened she put it on my notes. she reasured me they would listen. When I went into full labour I remember freezing on the stairs. And felt frightened and panicked. So took control I demanded a epidural. I asked them to read my last birth notes that read as if it was a straight forward birth. Even so they did listen to my requests. They prepped me for a epidural. This made me feel more relaxed. As the here sous pain began. I asked for pethodine. It made me feel totally in control, relaxed and in much less pain. I felt in control and it was my best birth I would be happy to do it again

mamaLou13 Fri 15-Feb-13 16:14:00

I am due to give birth to my second very soon and am shitting myself about the labour and it is going to be a home birth so no pain relief except gas and air. Just got to think, We have got through it nce and come out the other end relativley unscaved so surley we can do it again. Can't we!? I am trying to pursuade myself here as well as you!! It will be fine and if you are in hospital there is loads they can do to help and reassure you. I live out in the sticks so it is not convenient for me to go to hospital and i have noone to look after dd1 anyway.

jumpinghoops Fri 15-Feb-13 14:37:32

I'm not sure if this is helpful to you or not, but I had a similar sounding experience with my first- my requesat for an epi was basically ignored until I was ready to push- and am now pregnant with my second and have just done a hypnobirthing course which has definitely helped to calm me down and look forward to the birth with confidence. Might be worth having a look into.

inadreamworld Fri 15-Feb-13 10:57:34

I don't understand why they couldn't give you an epidural unless you were close to giving birth when you went in to hospital or unless you have back problems.

To reassure you I would say my 2nd labour FAR FAR easier than my 1st. 2nd labour was 4 hrs not as painful as I imagined and they wouldn't give me epidural either as arrived at hospital ready to give birth. Am glad I didn't have epidural as recovery time really quick. You will be fine but if you do want an epidural they should give you one.

sw11mumofone Tue 12-Feb-13 20:13:28

Why couldnt they give you an epidural?

LivingLifeBackwards Tue 12-Feb-13 17:35:28

Okay so my first labour wasn't bad at all, but I have an almighty low pain threshold (REALLY wish I didn't!) and they couldn't give me an epidural. I guess with my first I was innocent & naïve about how much it would hurt, but when I have my second I'll know what to expect? I get really anxious thinking about the pain and keep pushing having a second child further and further away even though I would absolutely love one!
Has anybody else gone through this? I feel like such a wuss blush

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