how long before dtd after episiotomy?

[utopian99]

Hi
I had what the midwife described as a small episiotomy on delivery 13 days ago, and so far as i can tell it's healing well. I've not looked at it (the thought makes me feel a bit funny,) but have felt it and it feels neat and slightly solid which i guess is scar tissue? Not had a good prod though; dh and I were taking advantage of the lo being asleep last night and th I'm getting more and more horny (apologies if tmi ).

At the moment my bleeding is still tailing off, so full sex is off the cards but i wanted to ask - how long should i really wait after the delivery/stitches, assuming bleeding stops? Will it actually hurt/there be a nasty shock when we can again? Can we do other things in the meantime - specifically would orgasm do anything bad to the area now 13 days healing have passed?

Sorry for the extremely personal qs, I'm just going up the walls not feeling able to do anything like that at the moment..

[ComradeJing]

Tried to dtd with DH 6 weeks after birth with stitches. Had just seen dr and everything looked good and was healed nicely. Dr gave me all clear for dtd.

Agony. Hated it. Had to stop.

This was even with going very slowly, lots of lube, etc.

I'm sure an orgasm wouldn't hurt it but from my experience if stitches for both dd and Ds I wouldn't expect comfortable sex any time soon.

[Notmyidea]

I think orgasm would only help strengthen muscle and increase circulation. As for dtd we waited until just before 6-week postnatal check after an episiotomy first time around and it was fine.
I tore along the scar after dd2 and we had sex after 2 1/2 weeks. It was a bit uncomfortable, but not enough to not want to, iykwim! Absolutely fine since.
First time around I wanted to have an answer at the postnatal check when asked if intercourse was okay, because I knew I'd find reasons not to go back if I had problems later.
2nd time it was our wedding anniversary.

[utopian99]

Yay for orgasms, not so much for pain.. May i ask if it was sharp (i.e. Stitches) or some other ache type?

[havingastress]

I had what the midwife described as a generous episiotomy! I had a look myself - really shouldn't have done that ha.

Anyways. This was 9 weeks ago. We had DTD twice since then, first time at 7 weeks. Not going to lie, was agony. We had to stop. The pain feels like pulling, tearing, like as if the line is going to rip open again.

It's not putting me off, but I am taking things VERY slowly!!! Feel sorry for the hubby though bless him, i went off sex through pregnancy so the poor thing has only had sex 4 times in a year

[herethereandeverywhere]

I waited well over a year.....

My advice is use plenty of lube, always. Mine is still uncomfortable/painful over 3 years on if we don't BUT my epi scar is made of granulated scar tissue as all the stitches burst open and I just has to wait for scar tissue to grow in the gap so prob. different to a normally healing stitched one.

[ComradeJing]

It felt like ripping/tearing/stretching/Chinese burn type feeling. It was all along the scar area. I only had 2nd degree tear too.

Sorry - I know it's not what you want to hear.

[EllaEllaElla]

Yeah - first time was really painful, we had to stop too. Give it a few more weeks!

[Shellywelly1973]

I honestly think you need to remember each&every person is different, have different births&even different episiotomies!

I had a 3rd degree tear with my 1st dc, dtd at about 7 weeks,no pain as such more like stretching. With dc i had a large episiotomies,dtd at 8 weeks,only uncomfortable. Position, lubrication & few glasses of wine def help.

[Shellywelly1973]

With dc2 had the large episiotomie!!

[utopian99]

Thanks for sharing experience, worried it'll affect things for good now. I used to really enjoy it; no one mentioned this as a side effect. (bleeding still not stopped yet either) I love our DS totally and DH is ecstatic about him being born and US being a family but I didn't realise it might take so much fun/pleasure out of the physical side of our relationship. Maybe naive of me not to guess anyway...

[WaitingForMe]

I tore as things went very fast. I was very sore afterwards.

DTD at seven weeks and it was amazing. No discomfort at all. I was pretty nervous having read so many accounts of it hurting but I think you just need to have a go when you feel ready then take a break for a couple of weeks (or as long as you want) before trying again if it hurts.

[WaitingForMe]

Sorry I meant to say I had stitches and they were very uncomfortable for a while.

[whatsoever]

I had my episiotomy 12 weeks ago & just starting to think about DTD again. I had an infection in the stitches about 10 days post birth which stopped the cut nearest to my va-jay-jay healing so like herethere I have granulated scar tissue.

I have 2 friends who've had episiotomies, both that healed well. One waited 3 weeks & said it was fine. The other waited longer & says it's still painful 6 months later although it hurts less each time.

I also had an anal fissure so that has been another reason putting me off until now - I just felt my general nether regions had been under attack!

Hoping to give it a go in the next few weeks but expecting pain. Told my DH this and he said "wow, how romantic" but it needs doing.

[TheTiger]

I had an episiotomy, DTD after 4 weeks as that is when my bleeding stopped and I felt my stitches were almost healed (the top stitches had torn and took longer than normal to heal). It was a little sore, felt like stinging/stretching. Took it very, very slowly with plenty of lube and it was ok. Each time since it has been better and better and now 12 weeks on I would say sex feels better than before!

[GrandPoohBah]

I had a 2nd degree tear both downwards into my perineum and up into my labia, both of which were stitched up. We dtd 4.5 weeks after birth (slowly, plenty of foreplay and lube, plus a couple of glasses of wine!) and it was... Ok. Not too bad, felt a bit stretchy and was a little sore afterwards but it certainly wasn't agony. We're still finding our way back to a normal sex life (7wks postpartum) but it's improving week on week.

[sarahanneg]

Did u all have a proper wound check at the 6 week post natal? I really wanted someone to actually have a look after episiotomy 8 weeks ago cos I don't feel that it has healed properly, still sore when I sit down and stings when I wee. Been with my husband twice properly, NOT nice but not agony either. Make sure u got plenty of lube.

[utopian99]

Haven't had my 6 week check yet - only 2.5 weeks so far. Just would rather not wait 6 weeks to try as getting frustrated but equally still nervous..

[GrandPoohBah]

Nope, she didn't even offer to check the stitches at my 6wk check - but my MW had looked at them up to 2wks post delivery before she discharged me.

[higgle]

I had a second degree tear with DS1 and decided to get back in the saddle again at 5 weeks just to see everything OK before post natal check. Apart from feeling very apprehensive everything was fine.

[axure]

The night before my 6 week check. DH told me that they would ask if things were back to normal and like an idiot I believed him, in the same way I believed that they wouldn't discharge me from the Mat ward until I'd done a poo! Well it was 20 years ago.
Yes it was sore for a few months, I only did it for DH, yours is lucky that you feel in the mood.

[higgle]

My mother gave me a lecture about avoiding the shame of being discovered as being pregnant at your post natal check, apparently it was very much frowned upon in her day.

[utopian99]

Wow, not planning on being pregnant again for a good six months, need to get to grips with this one first! (although aside from morning sickness i strangely enjoyed being pg.)

Far TMI but we achieved it last night! Carefully and with lots of lube as recommended... Wasn't super comfortable but not outright painful either and dh was very sweet and careful with me so ended up feeling quite special in an odd way. Much happier now I know I've not been damaged for life! (just keep practicing to get back to normal now )